to take issue with DH asking me to rephrase my question?

[Robyrollover]

I said “DH, do you want to take miniroby to Brownies?”

He said “do you mean ‘do I want to do you a favour’?”

As background: I work from home on a Monday, DH has been at work all day (he does a manual job). I’ve done packed lunches, got the kids off to school, worked, 3 loads of washing, cleaned the kitchen and cooked dinner. Why would he be doing me a favour by taking our child to their activity? Or AIBU?

it’s a continuing theme at the moment, because he does a physically hard job - sometimes 7 days a week, often 6, and I have an ‘easy’ part time job, he believes his job is done and by being the breadwinner he abdicates himself of all other responsibilities. He earns 4x what I earn.

and I asked what I meant - did he want to take her - as I thought he might seeing as he hasn’t seen the kids much. I didn’t ask with an expectation that he would say yes, I don’t know why it comes across as that?

As PPs say your question was poorly phrased: “please could you” would have been better.

In general, though, he sounds like he has entrenched, unreasonable, sexist attitudes and thinks parenting and domestic work is your job. With attitudes like that it’s unsurprising he doesn’t “want to” do things to benefit or spend time with his DC.

Grim.

It came across that way (on here) because you listed how much you had done. So it was as if you felt he should be taking part of the family load.

Though if the bigger picture is that he doesn't take part in family life then yes it's perfectly reasonable for you to object to his rephrasing. He acting like his doing one thing as a favour.

Totally different to all tasks being shared out, and you wrapping asking him to do something you usually do as an option when you want him to actually do it.

OP that is how I would have asked and DH could say yes or no. I would be annoyed if he replied with that favour nonsense. I would have replied, no ... I was just asking if you want to take her!

YANBU

Hearing things like this just cracks me up on so many levels.

It's his child too, why isn't he the one making arrangements for her, why is it automatically down to you?

Why be cheeky about it even if it did (wrongly) piss him off?

You're working and presumably bringing in a wage as well as saving him the bother of housework and organising the kids, it doesn't matter if you work from home or not.

In future I'd be inclined to work all day on a Monday and not do anything round the house, then take child to brownies, leaving husband to do the cleaning, washing and cooking

I know Iv just presumed a lot about your life but this is how it would go in my house