End of my tether with ds

[Woollypinksocks]

I just went upstairs to go to the toilet, ds 9yo has left a huge shit in the toilet, not even attempted to flush, which also means he hasn't washed his hands, and was sitting on my bed playing on the tablet laughing his head off. Toilets a right mess now because it's been left.

I ask him what he thinks he's playing at and he just grins and says sorry.

I'm sick to the back teeth of him not flushing and washing his hands, it's complete laziness and it's disgusting. Every morning I get up to the same thing. Call him to flush and wash his hands, give him the same talk about spreading germs.

I've told him no tablet for the rest of the week.

I'm not bu am I?

No.yanbu

Absolutely no being U at all. He's old enough to flush and wash, even if he can't be bothered it's something he needs to learn to do!

YANBU at all

YANBU. I’d say no privileges on any day that it’s forgotten. Be that tablet, phone, going out - whatever. Tell him if he flushes and washes he’s golden ... if not no fun stuff for him.

How on earth can I get it to sink in?

I know that even banning the tablet won't make a difference.

I wouldn't have dreamt of doing this as a child.

Cross post rewn I'll try that.

My DS has SEN but is a good reader. We have a sign up at eye level opposite the toilet in the bathroom. It's entitled "using the toilet" and has on it instructions including "don't stop until there's NO BROWN" and "WIPE UP YOUR DRIPS".

I tried to match the colour of the text to the tiles but it's still not particularly decorative. Incidents have decreased though.

Make him go flush it and wash his hands he's 9!

There must be SOMETHING that he would feel the loss/impact of?

If not tablet then an activity or treat hell at that age early bedtime.

You don't want to end up like the poster with adult sons doing this shit!

The smirk and the insincere sorry says it all, sounds like he needs a more appropriate punishment if the tablet ban won't work, maybe no tv, no park trips or whatever it is a 9 year old wants ban those things until it does sink in,the smirk suggests a lack of respect so you need another way to make him listen.

I think you'd be within your rights to make him clean the toilet when he does this.

Put him on toilet duty... get him cleaning!
He clearly is ignoring you.

Make him clean the toilet every day for a week. Full clean, at a moment that is highly inconvenient to him.

Perfectly acceptable age to make him scrub the toilet every single time you find it like this. With no gloves.

Make him scrub it. Every single time. Don't let him out of the bathroom until it is sparkling clean.

If he were mine he would be scrubbing it for a very long time before I pronounced myself satisfied. I would be making myself extremely hard to please.

The time for talking is gone. Time for action now, as he is being deliberately disrespectful.