To think sex addiction is just an excuse

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Using things like claiming a sex addiction is just an excuse for shitty behaviour.
If your engaging in cheating or sexting or that sort of thing then you can help it you can stop it and nobody needs to be supportive about your issue.

Or am I just being totally unreasonsble.

YABU

And blinkered views.

If you haven't experienced it you don't get to comment on the validity of the thing.

clary feel free to explain how I’m being blinkered, I’m fully open to being educated about the matter

Sex addiction is debated amongst psychologists widely. Addiction is defined as compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli(s) or activities, despite adverse consequences. It's definitely different to drugs and alcohol because it is a behavioural addiction - in many ways, it could be argued to have the same mechanisms at play as gambling for example. However, unlike gambling addiction, it is not listed as a "genuine" addiction in the DSM.

I think the general consensus amongst psychologists is that it is more a symptom of impulsive and/or compulsive behaviours within another disorder - e.g. studies have shown an association between BPD & impulsive sexual behaviour.

Orgasm activates the pleasure centre (the mesolimbic/ dopamine pathway) in our brains, so it definitely has the potential to be produce a neural basis to addiction/impulsive behaviour.

I think that addiction and dependency are different I think the initial hit of drugs gets you addicted to the "high" feeling and you go back and slowly become addicted. But there is also addicted to sex, sugar, even lying if you have an addictive personality then yes getting that thrill of the first time you kiss or touch someone could be intoxicating. People are obsessed with love and lust and the feelings are really powerful especially when a teenager an addictive personality would just take that further.

However this type of "addiction" can be stopped with willpower as it's not the same as your body getting a chemical high.

Slowly become "dependant" damn I spoiled my own point.

I don't think it's an addiction.
I think the "chase" is an obsession and the sex is secondary.
It only seems to be called an addiction when the person is in a committed relationship.

So would using social media incredibly frequently to sext people count?

Like friends/ strangers/ anybody of the gender your interested in on a daily basis say for years and years and years be something that’s likely to occur.

Or is that more likely to be just a creep who exhibits sketchy behaviour

Sorry should add there a set approach

Initial contact flatter, have brief lifestyle conversations including how nice and decent you are usually lasting a few days to a week then exchange music and continue to flatter them bam with the smutty talk

I think it is real.

Porn addiction - a linked version is real too,

Also it can be emotionally addictive - needing validation from it because of mistaking it for love, and this can be what it's like for some people previously abused as children.

Maybe some people have hormones causing this too.

No Op that's just strange and worrying behaviour it won't be addictive and what thrill can you get other than shocking the other person or getting a smutty text back. I don't think that is an addiction it's just very worrying behaviour

Sex addiction is very real (and is diagnosed). It's horrible. Its also not an excuse for cheating of any description. I can't imagine a single thing that would cause me to ever cheat on my DP, and he's not the most understanding person, so I suppose I'd even have an "excuse" if I wanted one.

Do not accept this as a reason for cheating.

No Op that's just strange and worrying behaviour it won't be addictive and what thrill can you get other than shocking the other person or getting a smutty text back. I don't think that is an addiction it's just very worrying behaviour

The goal is very clearly getting smutty messages back, which from what I can tell happens a surprisingly high amount of the time

It's probably real, people with addictive personalities can get hooked on anything. But no one's obligated to bear the strain of someone else's addiction, so women or men with sex addict partners should feel free to get rid with a clean conscience.

I find it quite telling that the vast majority of people with sex addiction are men.

Any old excuse eh.

It is real (believe me!) but not excuse for cheating.

This is my block as well windows I’ve never heard in day to day life that term applied to a women who has this type of behaviour

Does it matter if it's real or not?

If I discovered my partner were on drugs, I wouldn't say oh well if you are have a drug addiction then that's OK and I'll just have to shut up and let you get on with it.

If I discovered my partner were drinking excessively, I wouldn't say oh well if you are an alcoholic then that's OK and I'll just have to shut up and let you get on with it.

Why would calling his behaviour sex addiction make it any more acceptable?

It doesn’t make it more acceptable well at least not from my stance as to how I feel about it rabbit I’m just interested in knowing and learning about it. Because one day in the very near future I’m going to have a lot of time on my hands to ponder this over amd to be quite frank I would quite like to be able to skip over some of the things that are likely to pop into my head which I will be able to do if I have a bit of understanding regarding the real issue

This is my block as well windows I’ve never heard in day to day life that term applied to a women who has this type of behaviour

It's a really lovely excuse, just like sexsomnia. Allows you to get away with anything. Typically not a woman's thing.

I think some people like the term because they see it as absolving themselves from responsiblilty, as in... “it’s not my fault I screw around and can’t be faithful. I’m a sex addict!” If this is valid, where does it end.... what about,“I didn’t rape them as i just couldn’t help it... I’m just addicted to sex!

But addiction does make people do terrible, unforgivable things.

I have a bulimic friend who has been banned from several supermarkets for shoplifting hundreds of pounds worth of food (if she wasn't so obviously mentally ill I wouldn't be surprised if she'd have done prison time).

I have another bulimic and drug addicted friend who stole over £1500 from her own sister's bank account to buy food and drugs. I'm sure her sister still loves her but they no longer speak/have contact.

So I think sex addiction could be a reason for infidelity, paedophilia or rape. But not an excuse . There's a difference.

Whilst i agree it can be used as an excuse (as can alcoholism for abuse, as i have learnt), hpersexuality is very real.

As early as 1991, the ratio of sex addiction was 1:3 for females:males. (Carnes P. Nonmaker D. Skilling N. Gender differences in normal and sexually addicted populations. American Journal of Preventive Psychiatry and Neurology. 1991:4:16-23.)

Take into account that women are less likely to report, then it seems likely that its not predominately men who have sex addiction, but they may be more likely to seek help for it...

Yes addiction does mean people do shitty things but they are still responsible