to have a rant?

[PaddlingShoes]

I feel so alone. Every time I say ANYTHING to H, it causes an argument. If I ask my older kids (aged 12 and 16) to complete a simple task such as to get their wellies ready to pack in the car, or find a hairbrush, or put their PE kit in the wash, etc. he always butts in and they love it. He makes me out to be nagging! It's not nagging, it's just asking. Just do it! Then I don't have to ask again! Aargh! Every single thing is turned into an issue. If I have a genuine concern about OUR children, i.e. medical, or worries about schoolwork, I can't discuss them with him because he will just tell me I'm over thinking it! It's really getting me down. I was concerned about our child not growing properly and was not listened to. No support from doctors or husband. Just told that he was a late developer and fobbed off. After a few YEARS it became apparent that, shock horror, I was right and DS ended up having growth hormones. I worried about DS not handing in homework and not revising. I couldn't get through to him and asked H for help. He insisted I was nagging and obviously my son saw this as a get out and did fuck all! Then he failed his exams. WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME???? My youngest DD had issues from birth which I was told by H were normal, she was fine, etc etc. Now, after many hospital visits, all pushed solely by me, we find I was right. All the years of me crying and worrying to the point I've been sick and completely on the edge have destroyed me. I just found out my DS is on facebook. I have no issue with that as he's 16. I showed my husband and he said he already knew. Why didn't he mention it? It's not a big deal. Our DS has a girlfriend and I wanted to show H a photo of her. He just walked off mid-sentence as I was trying to find a photo. He said he'd just seen a photo. It was one where she had bunny ears and filters etc so not a true photo. When I asked if he really had no interest, he laughed in a condescending manner and said "Well, well, you really ARE prickly tonight aren't you?". Wtaf? I am just so fed up but I don't have the financial means to move out. FFS. Rant over.

You’re in AIBU so people will say LTB or you have no right to complain. Relationships might be kinder!

Ha! Fair enough!

Wow! Quality rant! Well done! Feel any better?
I have days (weeks) like this.
The only advice I can offer came from a friend of mine who's an awesome life coach.
Whenever her kids talked about school and grades she was totally relaxed. This freaked her kids out and she'd respond, "why would I be upset with your grades? They're YOUR grades, not mine. I've got my grades and I've got a job. Are YOU happy with YOUR grades?"
I'm kinda looking forward to trying this..

He sounds like a passive aggressive, gaslighting prick. I think you need to call him on his lack of support and if he won't listen or take you seriously you only have 2 choices. Stay and be treated like this or separate and get on with your life without him undermining you all the time.

Great rant, you're not BU. But you know that.

When you feel like you can talk sensibly to the whole gang of bastsrds could you perhaps ban the word "nagging" from your lives?

You have every right to be fed up and furious. I would kill my husband if he treated me like that. As if I'm some kind of hysterical, nagging nincompoop.

I'm listening Paddling! If your older kids don't put their PE kits in the wash, they won't be clean when they next need them, or they'll have wet socks because their wellies are not in the car or whatever. Pick your battles; the medical issues are worth fighting, but not the lack of a hairbrush.

No offence but your husband sounds horrible, why are you with a man who won't let you talk without brushing aside everything you say and demeaning you in front of your kids,

He obviously doesn't care about the kids either as it's YOU who have been the one to fight for their diagnosis for their health issues.

And to walk off mid sentence when you are going to show him a photo of your son's girlfriend is just ignorant and rude, it sounds like he really has no respect for you,