Period, or going out of mind?!

[Goodbuycat]

I think I may be losing it today!
I know my period is due, which has some effect, but not enough to make me feel the way I do today. My Dad died just over a year ago, and today I really feel it. It’s like it just happened, and I was doing so well before this. I’m trying to tidy up, and keep coming across tiny shoes and clothes from when my children were toddlers and babies. This has made me want to crawl into a dark cupboard for the rest of the day, as I miss those days so much.
My DH has been a bit of an arse today, and that hasn’t helped.
I can’t hide, as too many people are here, and things need to be done,
I know I’m not being nice to people today, but find that I can’t be bothered making the effort to pretend.
Can anyone suggest some quick way of brightening my mood before I burst into tears in front of everyone here, (kids, family members)?
It’s a get stuff done Day, so no option to just make a cup of tea and crawl under the duvet.

Go to the bottom of the garden or for a quick walk alone with a cig or a cuppa and have a quick chat with your dad. Tell him how hard you're finding today and how much you miss him. And say whatever else you want to. Let yourself cry, give yourself five or ten mins to cry as hard as you can. I guarantee you'll feel better after this and able to carry on a bit longer.

I'm sorry for your loss, a year is no time at all. One year after losing my mum was infinitely more painful than the first six months. It takes time for your heart to realise what your brain knows: that this is permanent and you'll never see them again. It's excruciating and I promise it gets easier xx

Thank you LemonShark.

That’s definitely doable, and a very helpful perspective on things. I’m off to put the kettle on.

You're not going out of your mind, you're still grieving, and you're under stress, too. Completely second LemonShark's suggestion. Any way that you can have a bit of space, some minutes alone, some minutes taking care of you and not everyone else. Here, have some flowers. I bought myself some lovely purple tulips and pink roses at the supermarket this morning.
If no-one else does it, you do it for you. You matter.

Totally agree about going to have a chat with your dad. Say what you need to and get your emotions out.

I am wondering if you have the type of life that's so busy that maybe you haven't grieved properly.

Have some duvet weekends with no visiting family.

I agree with all PPs, you need some you-time. It's also OK to cry

Lemonshark speaks sense. I'm so sorry for your loss. You are entitled to cry/disengage/not be all things to all takers while you focus your energies on you and your emotional health. I find it very therapeutic to put on some tear jerked tunes and just howl (as in crying not hawoo) for a bit occasionally.

Thank you for all your lovely posts.

I actually feel a bit better already.

Someone mentioned having a busy life, you definitely have a point there. Not complaining, but doesn’t always allow for me to properly think about things, or I’m just too tired to do it when I do get a minute.
DH going away for a few days tomorrow, and am actually looking forward to having a little bit of space, when the kids are sleep. I feel tea and chocolate in bed may be the order of the day.

I would send flowers to you all, if only I could work out how to do it!!

hurray! One little victory for today!

I always find music helps, something you will definitely want to sing along to and maybe even have a little dance around to. It's so easy these days to find a song from your teenage years that can bring a bit of youthful spark to your day.

Also it's so dark and dreary at the moment, turn a light or 2 on.