To ask neighbours when to quieten down?

[NoFear84]

Neighbours two door up have young adult children (uni age). They must have a rowdy bunch of friends round (their kids do) and they’re in the back garden having a good time, talking, drinking etc but very loudly!!

Seriously don’t want to be a party pooper but I’ll be heading to sleep and my bedroom is at the back of our house.

I’m going to try earplugs as really it doesn’t happen often but busy busy day tomorrow... wibu to ask them to pipe down (lots of shouting and laughing) so I would feel bad... do you think if still going at midnight to say something?!

No, it’s never ok to disturb other people late in the evening. In my street, if everyone had a party in their garden, say once a month, then no one would ever get any Sleep!!!!!

1130?! Still going strong...

OP, you post at:

22:52:19
23:06:06
23:06:28
23:07:48

(and seem to be reading the posts in between)

then at 23:08:33 say ... Earplugs not working"

(lie down and go to sleep )

Sorry, I meant presumably you get a decent sleep the majority of the time, with reference to noisy neighbours. I.E they are not frequently disturbing your sleep, therefore it’s unreasonable to think your needs trump theirs.

What if they wanted to have parties all the time, but don’t, out of respect for their neighbours? Are they not allowed one or two noisy nights?

Feel your pain. I have neighbours backing on to me. Music blaring. Disco lights whizzing around everywhere. Screeching.

New build estate used to be a nice field :(

Now they're jumping around on the shed roofs making next doors dog bark

Carry your child into your bed while they are sleeping and you go and sleep in their bed. Child won't notice the noise. We were all young once.

Is this a one off or a regular occasion OP? If it's a one off I'd say midnight before knocking, and otherwise at 11.

Actually no I don’t always get great sleep! This week my DH has been working away and I’ve had 3 sleepless nights with very poorly children. High temps, sickness and bad bad cough requiring inhalers.

So tbh yes my sleep trumps their January garden party.

Actually it doesn't, really, because your reasons for needing sleep (completely valid) are unrelated to the party. They can't possibly know that today was a worse choice than last week or next week. You can't really expect them to organise a party according to when your partner works away or is here.

I think they’ve fallen asleep now

OPs needs do trump theirs though because it's after 11pm and they're making enough noise to disturb neighbours.

Move to the (spare?) front bedroom or sleep with your dc? Im guessing that its just a one off?

Sorry been giving dc1 inhaler poorly child. Bad virus.

They are quieter the neighbours. Earplugs may work but got to keep them out to listen for coughing.

Nothing wrong with saying to the neighbours: "hey, I know you don't mean any harm and you don't have parties every night, but we've had a really bad week with little sleep due to illness, so would you mind keeping it down? It's my first chance at a good night's sleep" .

I'm sure they'll be amenable.

It’s much much quieter now everyone I can hear faint giggles

Well then, put your phone down and attempt to sleep. Or do we need to find the screen time/sleep studies...

I would give it a good shot at trying to sleep first. You might surprise yourself.

If not I would maybe ask at about Midnight, It is a residential area and the weekend.

The joys of neighbours. If it is not very often, I would let them be for a little longer.

Cross post. Goodnight

YABU - I work at weekends and I still let my neighbours have their fun till at least midnight before I go and ask them to quieten down on Saturday nights, and they have people over on a fairly regular basis.

Most people tend to use midnight as the universal "STFU time" ... if they were still out there now then I'd have said for you to pop over and just ask them to turn the music down/be mindful that sound carries especially when it's otherwise quiet at night and could they try to keep their voices down, but if it's a rare thing that they have people over then I think you need to be a bit more tolerant of one offs.