To be completey pissed at DH BF

[Dizzylin]

DH suffers with depression and is having an anxiety attack tonight. His BF (who also suffers with depression) has tried to call him but he ignored the call because he doesn't want to speak to anybody tonight. He messaged her to tell her why he ignored her call and she text him back saying that she is much worse than him because she is on her own and might have needed to talk. AIBU to be really pissed at her, DH is feeling really guilty now and it's just increased his anxiety

I suffer from anxiety and depression and when I'm going through my panic attacks and depression there's no way I can support anyone else. I don't think either of them are probably in the state of mind to support each other.

It's one of the reasons my DB split with his GF - they were both going through a tough time and needed support and neither could provide the other with support so she found someone else who could. It's quite sad really.

I don't think YABU to be annoyed with her but I also don't think she's in the right frame of mind to understand that he couldn't be there for her. I really feel for all of you.

That's really sad, I had DNP and it was a very hard 18 months. Thankfully we manged to get through it and have actually become stronger because of it. The sensible part of me knows you're right and they just can't support each other at the moment but protective side just wants her to leave DH alone.

Mental illness can make people very selfish, by its very definition. As such, she will not be thinking of the impact on your partner, she will only be thinking of herself, because she is ill.

So no don't be mad at her, understand they are both ill and not behaving rationally.

It doesn't sound like a healthy dynamic though, I have to be honest.

Of course you're feeling protective over you DH - you're the one who has to see him feeling guilty and his anxiety and depression and that's a hard thing to see.

You really aren't being U to feel that but you would be if you said something (not that you said that you would)

It's a really tough situation.

Tabby, your DH friend sounds very needy, (it's all about her and what she wants/needs rather than it being about your poor husband not being in the mood for phone conversations because of his anxiety disorder)

What is she going to do next time he doesn't want to talk on the phone to him (e.g if you are having a romantic night in, or if you are spending time with family) is she going to react with the emotional blackmail about "she is on her own and might have needed to talk" ? Because that is not right, and she needs to be set some boundaries if she acts like it again,

*Yanbu not Tabby autocorrect strikes again on my phone