Hand holding

[MrsMaxwell]

AIBU?

DH got a bit hurt today when DSD2 who is 11 (and 5”6 so looks a lot older) didn’t want to hold his hand. DSD1 told him last year she didn’t want to (shes 13).

I think the last time my kids willingly did this in public they were about 9.

I sort of stuck up for DSD2 here but I feel like I might have hurt his feelings a bit and made him feel like a bit of a twat.

When do kids stop wanting to do this?

Erm don't you only need to do this if it's likely the kid would run off?

Well yeah that’s what I thought but....

I don’t hold my 9 year olds hand. He’s in senior school of course he’s not going want to hold his df. Your dh is going to find the next few year hard often or not they start to prefer socialising with friends at the weekend rather than spending their time with their parents all the time. I think he needs to alter his expectations here.

What message is he hoping his kids will learn? That they should consent to things they don’t want to keep others happy?

FenellaMaxwellsPony

How on earth did you get that from my post

He did not force the issue.

Dd 9 holds my hand all the time.

Ds 11 hasn’t for years.

DS is 11. We don't hold hands any more but he links arms with me when we are crossing a very busy car park on the way to and from school. I am in blissful ignorance about whether this is him wanting me to look after him or him looking after his little old mum.

Ds10 holds my hand happily for short periods of time. I expect this to stop soon.

My DS refused to hold my hand when he reached age 5. He will only hold my hand if one of the little girls in his class tries to hold his hand, he doesn't like that

You’ve just made me realise that one day my DS won’t want to hold my hand anymore, and now my heart is breaking!

Thing is she was really clingy to him a while back too and I know girls esp tend to be a bit more childish with their dad when he’s “absent”. So in a way it’s a good thing.

lookingforthecorkscrew

My eldest DS is 20 and he lives here still - I always get a massive kiss and cuddle when he arrives/leaves.

DS stopped holding mine at 6 or 7. At 11 he had been walking a few steps behind me, pretending he didn’t know me, for a few years

I held my mum's hand for years just because I liked to! I still would now maybe if she'd let me!! Def did it up to 15 but she's far less tactile than me!