Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour's house up for sale

71 replies

Ponshuspirate · 27/01/2018 19:47

This is more a WWYD rather than an AIBU.

We've lived next door to some pleasant people for 12 years. We always speak when we see them, they always speak when they see us, sometimes we have a good old chat. They are nice neighbours.

They both go out to work, whereas I work from home. Over the last 12 years I've taken in countless parcels for them, sometimes more than one a day. Certainly coming up to Christmas it was constant. They always thank me and life goes on.

Anyway, their house is up for sale. There's no board up but I've seen it on Right Move. They haven't mentioned it. I know it's none of my business and it's entirely up to them.

However, as we're on friendly terms, if it was us moving I would definitely have told them, just out of courtesy really.

Is it me? In similar circumstances WWYD? i.e. would you tell your neighbours?

OP posts:
Enko · 27/01/2018 20:16

Well I guess from all the responses that OP can see why the NDN haven't

I am with you though op and I find it odd they haven't mentioned it. I would mention it to our neighbours if we were moving/selling (and have when we have been in that situation in the past)

Viviennemary · 27/01/2018 20:20

I think it's quite thoughtless when neighbours that you have got on with and do favours for then do this. YANBU.

Newbieuser1880 · 27/01/2018 20:21

I think you don’t know what’s going on in their private life and good points are made here about money/relationship problems etc.

The more people you tell the more people you have to update as they ask so maybe they wanted to avoid that in these chats you have.

Also not sure why you would refuse a parcel of answering a door.

Talkingfrog · 27/01/2018 20:22

When I saw them., I told two of my neighbours we were not moving and our house was not for let either!
Trainee at agents gave the sign man the wrong house number. Didn't get sorted until 4 days later when he finally told his boss - and that was only because I asked to speak to her.

If you are on good terms and do them the favour of taking parcels in I would expect them to say, but only when they spoke to you next anyway.

blackchina · 27/01/2018 20:24

I can understand you being a bit hurt, as I would have been, but they didn't HAVE to tell you. And I doubt they sat there and said 'let's not tell that silly bint next door coz we don't like her!' Grin

They just didn't think that's all......... Smile

Try not to be too blue about it... YANBU to be a bit hurt, but they have done nothing wrong.

Hope you new neighbour is lovely. Grin

WaxOnFeckOff · 27/01/2018 20:25

I possibly wouldn't make a special visit to them to tell them but I would definitely say in passing/conversation. In fact I'd probably try to "engineer" a passing conversation. i.e. Go out to bring my bin in if I saw their car coming home etc.

Possibly would also depend on the time of year, don't see as much of anyone in the winter.

Mrsmadevans · 27/01/2018 20:26

OP I think you are right and anyone normal would have told you.

RandomUsernameHere · 27/01/2018 20:29

Our house is on the market at the moment and I told both our NDNs in person beforehand, I think it's polite to do so. I would be a bit put out in your position OP. The only reason not to tell you would be if they suspected you were also looking to sell and might put your house on the market before them.

SD1978 · 27/01/2018 20:29

Nope. Not necessarily- I wouldn’t mention is until it was sold. Ultimately what a neighbour thinks it dosesnt think about my situation is inconsequential if someone is willing to pay me the price I am hoping for. Also it may be a painful sale, and they aren’t ready to mention that it’s on the market.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 27/01/2018 20:30

Personally I would not tell my neighbours.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 27/01/2018 20:30

I’d tell our neighbour upstairs and I think she would tell us.

Notasunnybunny · 27/01/2018 20:31

I spotted my neighbours house on right move, I asked her about it in passing. She had spotted somewhere specific and wasn’t moving unless everything fell into place. They may not want to start people talking and then it all falls through.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/01/2018 20:31

Punish their tardiness by telling them that some right nosey buggers pulled up and were taking photos of the house while they were out.

My NDN told us ages before because they were planning on doing extensive ( aka noisy) work and decorating and getting skips in.

formerbabe · 27/01/2018 20:32

OP I think you are right and anyone normal would have told you

What a weird comment. Anyone normal?!

I'd feel like a right twat knocking on a neighbour's door to say "just to let you know, we're putting the house on the market". Er....and?

What on earth are they meant to do with this nugget of information anyway?

happymummy12345 · 27/01/2018 20:34

We lived in our old house for just over a year (rented), and when we decided to move, we told the two sets of neighbours we got on well with and spoke to a lot.
We didn't get the chance to say goodbye to them before we left due to circumstances. But when we were settled we went back and said bye to them and passed on our new address and numbers, so hopefully we can keep in touch.
It never occurred to us not to.

Notasunnybunny · 27/01/2018 20:34

I would tell my neighbours incidentally, but in our little no through road it is all very social with drinks parties and social gatherings are a regular occurrence

Original poster
Ponshuspirate · 27/01/2018 20:35

Thanks for all the replies.

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 27/01/2018 20:36

We told our neighbours (who we got on brilliantly with) as soon as viewings started so they didn't wonder who the strange bloke was letting himself into our house (although the Haart car should have been a clue).

WhiteWalkersWife · 27/01/2018 20:36

Id tell my neighbours now, they are lovely and we chat a lot.

I would never tell my last neighbours. We were civil and friendly polite but they were nosy buggers even if they did take things in for us. They also were like dogs with bones and every time after we told them theyd be wanting an update and forcing a meeting if we were busy Grin. Very exhausting sometimes.

Pepperedbeef · 27/01/2018 20:38

I lived next to lovely neighbours for 15 years and never told them I was leaving. You don’t choose your neighbours, you just get on out of courtesy so when life is busy, they aren’t top of the list

Original poster
Ponshuspirate · 27/01/2018 20:38

I'd feel like a right twat knocking on a neighbour's door to say "just to let you know, we're putting the house on the market". Er....and?

We see them regularly. I was chatting to her yesterday, as we often do, usually when they are collecting their parcels.

OP posts:
retirednow · 27/01/2018 20:44

Maybe they will tell you when they have an offer made, you don't know why they are moving and they might not want to discuss it, I'd leave it up to them.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 27/01/2018 20:45

I’d also say something to our neighbour if I found out she was moving, not because I was offended she didn’t tell me, but because we let her keep her bins on the front garden and wouldn’t want anyone else doing it until we knew they were clean and tidy.

I’d feel a bit awkward bringing it up though if she hadn’t said anything!

Bigfatpicnic · 27/01/2018 20:52

I'd tell them, just out of politeness and to give them the heads up.
We chat, but only in a neighbourly way and I know our relationship would not continue if either of us moved house, so we aren't great friends, but we are good neighbours to each other iyswim, we have helped each other out with deliveries, bins, letting workmen in, pet feeding etc.

blackchina · 27/01/2018 20:53

I did used to have a neighbour who was a good friend, and we socialised maybe twice a month - we would go to the pub, or for a meal out. We had some real giggles, and our kids got on very well, and played together quite often. One day I came home from work, and a sale sign was up. She had never mentioned selling up - even though I only spoke to her 3 days before...

Although she did say a couple of times that she and her husband were thinking of moving to his home town of Inverness, before their son started 'big school' - he was about 8 at the time. She had not said anything about it for 4-5 months though, so I had kind of forgotten about it...

I was actually crushed that she was going as they had been our neighbours for 5 years, and I really thought the world of her, and her son, and husband.. But yeah, we were actually good mates, and she never mentioned it. (Although, as I said, she had mentioned several times that they may go 500 miles north to her husband's home town. So she had kind of said they may move....)

They went for 'halfway' in the end (they moved to the north part of the lake district,) but sadly she lost touch with me after about a year..... several of my letters over 4 or 5 months went unanswered, and I accepted the fact, that she had moved on.... new friends, new job, etc etc...... (This was before facebook and twitter etc...) I still think about her now sometimes, and have looked on facebook for her, but cannot find her. Our whole family was a bit sad for a while actually, that they left, AND that they never kept in touch after the first 12 months.

Still......... life goes on........