Financial support from ExH

[Busytizzy]

First time post...

ExH has DD 3 nights a week, she's with me for 4. I pay for her school uniform, sports kit, all after school activities. AIBU to think he should be contributing financially? He refuses to, his reasons are that he feeds her and heats the house for her for 3 nights a week, and buys clothes (he does, she has separate clothes at his house). He also says that he won't contribute anything as he wants to have her full time, and I am stopping him.

When we divorced, my solicitor told me that if I attempted a child maintenance claim, I might end up paying him money, as I earn more.

I thought CM was worked out by the number of overnights a parent does with the child, not by who earns most. I think he should contribute but would he be more amenable if you asked him to pay for certain things, rather than giving you money? I'm not saying you're not entitled to a contribution, btw.

It's more or less a 50/50 split - I think you solicitor is correct.

what a dickhead!!

Could you do 4 nights one week and 3 the next if there really is no chance getting CM? would that make working a bit easier for you? or do you prefer to have her more anyway?

You'd possibly get some CM as the split is slightly in your favour - do you claim CB and WTC CtC? Maybe he feels this covers the extras? Not saying it does, but trying to understand his thinking?

You paid your solicitor to advise you - I'd suggest you listen to it. You could be opening a can of worms OP. You could end up paying him and he might decide to go for custody. It could end badly.

You paid your solicitor to advise you - I'd suggest you listen to it. You could be opening a can of worms OP. You could end up paying him and he might decide to go for custody. It could end badly.

^This

I wouldn't rock the boat. You earn more than him, it doesn't sound like it's enormously out of whack, consider letting it go.

You could end up paying him and he might decide to go for custody

Sigh. Said by someone with no experience of the system.

If you have her 4 nights, the CMS would process a claim for you. He could ‘go for custody’ but unless he OP is a drug addicted prostitute, anything more than 50/50 is unlikely. And men who drag their ex’s through court for ‘custody’ when they already have excellent access run the risk that both CAFCASS and a judge see them for the controlling wankers they are and actually reduce contact (looking at you, ex husband mine!).

OP - if you can manage, ignore it. Just provide for your daughter and get on with it. She will know. It shocks me every now and again just how much the children understand and that is despite my every effort to remain neutral, positive and up beat about their dad.