To be annoyed that with joint PR one parent thinks they have more power than the other?

[Alwaysconfused2018]

Just in general aswell but my brother and ex split when his dcs were young. His daughter who's 6 wanted her ears pearced he wasn't keen and expressed that to the child's mum. And she went ahead and got them done.. Basically she said I can do what I want I don't need your permission... Not that he said he wanted to give, 'permission'. Hut thought it should be a joint decision.
He said what of it was the other way around and I went ahead and done it know you weren't keen (he wouldn't,) .. Her reply was you have no right to and went mad..
Even tho he has pr etc. Why does she think its OK for her and would if it was him

Thats an example and I know it works both ways

Hmm. Technically I think you're right, but I think the parent who has to deal with the consequences of the decision gets final say. So I'm your example if I had to deal with the looking after the newly pierced ears even though I hadn't agreed to it I'd be fucking livid, iyswim.

Also even if they lived together, she may well have taken the child off to have it done because she's the mommy and she gets to decide.
With yes no questions someone is always going to be unhappy.

They may have joint PR but one parent - usually the RP - will have ultimate control.

Had the boot been on the other foot, your DB might have chosen to do many things the childs mother might deem inappropriate, namely fruit shoots, sugared breakfast cereals, term time holidays, any thing blah blah and the RP would have no real say on the matter.

However as the RP is usually the mother, she may choose to then be awkward with access

Usually the parent who does most of the care has the biggest say. She could have just gone and got them done without asking him. Its a no win situation in your example either the child does or does not get ears pierced and one parent will get what they want.

The problem with this is why is his decision more important? Presumably he child wants it done. One parent is all that is needed to get it done. He will have to live with it. This is not, 8n the big scheme of things, something to get annoyed about. You really do need to pick your battles.

The mum has the right to get the ears pierced, and so does the dad.

The dad also has the right to take the studs out and let the holes close up, if he chooses... Basically if there's differing opinions, compromise needs to be reached, but in binary decisions with opposing views, someone is pretty much guaranteed to "lose".