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AIBU?

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AIBU to not lend any more money to this neighbour

15 replies

dottybooboo22 · 27/01/2018 17:02

Bit of background, neighbour moved in four years ago we say hi in passing but never been in each other's houses. She takes the odd parcel in for me.

Her boyfriend recently passed away and i said she could come and chat anytime she felt down.

She argued with parents some years ago so isn't in contact with them, her boyfriend was the only person she bothered with apart from one other friend.

Anyway she started borrowing money a few months ago, nothing big only £10 and she was prompt paying back so I didn't mind lending it.

Three weeks ago she came to borrow £10 and said she'd give it back Monday. Monday came and no sign of her, same the following Monday and so on until yesterday when she knocked the door and asked to borrow £10. No mention of the other money so I said I didn't have any money.

I'm now feeling guilty because while I was telling the truth that I didn't have any money I could have popped to the cash point and drew some out.
The reason I'm feeling guilty is she doesn't work because of her nerves and she's only one friend to turn to.

On the other hand I'm a single parent/widow with a 16 year old dd to bring up. She's going into sixth form in September and I'm struggling to cope myself.

I work in a school through the day I do everything from breakfast club, one to one support work, and lunchtime supervisor.

Sorry this is so long but felt the need to explain.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/01/2018 17:04

You are not being unreasonable in the slightest. Please don’t feel guilty.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 27/01/2018 17:05

Do not lend her any more money! At some point she'll cotton on that you're waiting for the £10 to be returned and she might well return it and then try to borrow it again. Don't lend it to her.

You work really hard. Think of it that you have £10 and either your daughter has it or your cheeky neighbour has it. Who would you choose?

Redglitter · 27/01/2018 17:05

I wouldn't even consider lending her money if shes not repaying you. Knock it on the head now & don't feel guilty

MyBrilliantDisguise · 27/01/2018 17:05

And NEVER mention cashpoints to her!

Note3 · 27/01/2018 17:07

Not unreasonable so don't be told otherwise.

PanPanPanPing · 27/01/2018 17:08

It might be worth asking MNHQ to move this thread to AIBU, where you might get some more replies?

expatinscotland · 27/01/2018 17:10

Of course YANBU! Just tell her you don't have any. She's a CF. Don't feel guilty!

dottybooboo22 · 27/01/2018 17:22

She looked kind of pathetic when I answered the door that's partly why I felt a bit guilty to be honest, and partly because I hate to think that she could need something.
On the other hand I am inclined to think that she's just being a CF

Brilliant I wont mention the cashpoint.

OP posts:
Cherrycokewinning · 27/01/2018 17:25

Tbh I think some people are just a bit like this, particularly if they have come from a poor background. It’s more that they see nothing wrong with asking than the actual money. You just need to say no.

People who aren’t like these assume someone asking for money must be utterly destitute because they wouldn’t do it themselves but some people just ask because they can.

helenoftroyville · 27/01/2018 17:27

'Sorry I can't afford to lend you any money because you haven't paid back the last £10 you borrowed'

dottybooboo22 · 27/01/2018 17:49

Panpan, even though I've been on mumsnet for a few years, long term lurker, I don't know how to contact MNHQ to get the thread moved to AIBU ????

OP posts:
Allaboutthatcake · 27/01/2018 17:51

Just report your thread 😊

dottybooboo22 · 27/01/2018 17:52

You could very well have something there Cherry. She doesn't seem in the least bit phased when she asks... me, I'd be cringing!

OP posts:
dottybooboo22 · 27/01/2018 17:56

Ok just did it Allabout.

OP posts:
DawnMumsnet · 27/01/2018 18:06

@dottybooboo22

Ok just did it Allabout.

And we've just received your report, OP. Smile

We're moving your thread over to AIBU now.

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