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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Adult and child foods? A British thing?

717 replies

StandardRussian66 · 27/01/2018 16:15

I got bitched at yet again today by the group I meet with for lunch occasionally.
They find it very strange that my 3 year old eat “adult food”.
I have lived in 4 countries and have only ever come across this in Britain.
It is very strange?
Why would child’s only eat plain food?
My DD had calamari, for reference, incase that is odd. I am part Japanese so she is no stranger to fish.
Aibu to find it equally strange that some toddlers were still being fed mashed food?

OP posts:
leiaorganashair · 28/01/2018 01:24

I was born in the Far East, moved to America as a child, went to school in 3 countries. I have never got this either. My British friends think I'm completely insane for giving DD whatever I'm having. My friends in the Far East think my British friends are insane Grin

The only thing I will really do differently for DD is cut it up for her first and she might get rice in a fun shape mould thing. There are a couple of meals she doesn't like so I won't make them for her. But I would never cook her a separate meal.

Osirus · 28/01/2018 01:29

I agree with you OP. My 19 month old has always eaten what we have, unless we’re eating something spicy. We never bothered with pouches etc. as didn’t see the point.

leiaorganashair · 28/01/2018 01:29

Rose I am from a very mixed background which includes some Japanese and some Central European- I have an American- born father. That's just one possible explanation for Japanese-Russian heritage. Migration has existed for centuries. Confused

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 28/01/2018 01:52

She question me in another thread too about my background. I don’t think it is too strange a mix.

OP posts:
TwoShades1 · 28/01/2018 03:10

Admittedly my step children are a bit older but I feed them the same food that my and DP eat. Damned if I’m making 2 separate meals! It is a bit hard going at times as I think their Mum and other family members only give them “kiddie” food.

EssentialHummus · 28/01/2018 03:35

Russian but semi Japanese? Aha

Because of where these two countries are, there’s a fair amount of migration from one to the other / uni students from eastern Russia specialising in Japanese topics etc. It’s not unheard of.

stopgap · 28/01/2018 03:50

We do both. We take them to tapas places, Japanese restaurants, and more family-style places. To be honest, I don’t serve such things at home, so I really don’t care if they have burger and fries when we go out.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 28/01/2018 07:18

Just woken up and caught up with this. I bloody love a food thread. 90% of people are utterly deranged when it comes to the feeding of children on MN.

cathf · 28/01/2018 09:43

This one is an absolute beauty, Hairy hands.
I especially like the threads about the toddler who can use chopsticks and can speak in different languages as well as enjoy food from every country, and also the toddler who will need resuscitation if she has - shock, horror! - low grade margarine.

I also notice with interest that the nugget-feeders seem to be people the posters feel superior to anyway - stepmothers in particular never feed rubbish to children, although mothers-in-law seem very fond of doing so.
It's fascinating - all on MN is on show on this thread

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 28/01/2018 09:54

Hairy hands?? You think I’m a troll 😂 cute.

OP posts:
DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 28/01/2018 09:56

No, the previous poster is called ILikeyourHairyHands

Boatsonthewater · 28/01/2018 09:57

I think its a cultural thing is this country that goes way back. I agree with you that children should try adult food and be part of the general meal from an early age as is common on the Continent. It makes for a much better family atmosphere and teaches kids manners and how to sit at a table and wait. You do what suits you, you are lucky your child is a non fussy eater.

thesourceofLoveandLight · 28/01/2018 09:59

I genuinely don't feel superior at all. I think just culturally there are different ways of thinking about food for children. If kids come here for tea I try to make them something they will like - I ask their mums/dads/carers. But if my kids go elsewhere I get sneery remarks if I say DD doesn't like British sausages - and she doesn't. Yes, she is being fussy, but Japanese sausages are much slimmer and she prefers them. It is a PITA but they are not the same. I don't feel like she is above anybody because she doesn't like the ones here. It's just a quirk of her tastes. What annoys me is the people who have a go and say its ridiculous. It just shows the lack of understanding of different things in different places / cultures. People often think I'm mad feeding her the things I do, but that's what she had the first 6 years of her life because that was what was normal for her. She didn't suddenly change her tastes because we moved countries, but she certainly gets judged for them here, even down to snide remarks at school when she takes rice for lunch. It's not showing off to say she eats pickled plums, its normal for her. I think that's the point - people think you are showing off when you are just doing your normal. It doesn't mean your kid isn't fussy or difficult; it means that they are used to eating different things.

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 28/01/2018 09:59

Oh I thought the names went in thick letters. Sorry!

OP posts:
morningconstitutional2017 · 28/01/2018 10:07

I've seen children's menus in France where choices like mince and other softer food in smaller portions is on offer.

When I used to take my very elderly MIL out for a pub meal the barman very tactfully suggested the children's menu (which I ordered at the bar while she remained at the table) as she couldn't eat large adult portions - always complaining that she got too many chips and she was delighted with that. For once she really enjoyed her meal.

crunchymint · 28/01/2018 10:14

I haven't been to France for years, but used to go regularly. There were not kids menus in the past, except in tourist resorts.

crunchymint · 28/01/2018 10:17

I have met mums who have thought that more expensive food is "wasted" on kids.

Chienrouge · 28/01/2018 10:19

I used to live in France. Kids menus definitely exist, and not just in tourist areas.

crunchymint · 28/01/2018 10:36

Okay, I will take your word for it. But I honestly don't remember them in the 90's in the places I ate.

rookiemere · 28/01/2018 10:39

They definitely have kids menus in French ski resorts.

They still laugh at you though and refuse to take it seriously, if you ask for your child's burger to be cooked through rather than bloody in the middle.

franktheskank · 28/01/2018 11:01

It's a British thing Smile

MissP103 · 28/01/2018 11:09

We do have a kids menu where we are. The only difference is the portion size and price but its the exact same food. It makes sense to me as kids won't eat a full portion size and why pay that price.
A friend of mine also does the whole kids and adults food. Her children are the fussiest I've ever come across. They are 4 and 3 and still on pureed/mash.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/01/2018 11:42

Not just a "British thing" - happens in Australia too. Kids' menus everywhere. Including the option of vegemite sandwiches!

Mine mostly have food off the main menu because the kids' menu is rarely GF; but we look for whatever food they like and can eat, so if it's kids' menu, then they have something off that, but if it isn't, then they have something off the main menu.

They eat what we do at home, although we've had to cut out a lot of the more interesting ingredients to accommodate DS2's "plain taste" preference (so no olives, no capers etc.) DS1 has always been a more adventurous eater.

I've had people comment on my boys' eating habits but never in the negative way that you've experienced, Russian - I suggest you get new friends rather than this judgypants lot!

oblada · 28/01/2018 11:51

It's the same in France and in India in my experience - kids menu/different food in some places but not others and some people eat together with the kids and some don't! I can't see much of a difference to how it was when I was a kid (France) or to how it is when we go to see my family or indeed my in laws!

oblada · 28/01/2018 11:53

Also kids fussiness isn't all down to parenting, far from it, my 6yrs old eats bland food atm (at least at home, she seems to eat everything at school) but she used to guzzle sushis when she was 2-3yrs old! My 3.5yrs old devoured curries last time we were in India a couple of years ago but no longer wants to try at home (influenced by her sister I think)... They'll grow up!