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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be livid!

54 replies

Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 15:22

AIBU to be livid about smoking around my DD? She's doing voluntary work at the local charity shop (she's 13 nearly 14) for her D of E.

The shop has always stunk of fags but I put that down to the donated clothes. But she returned today complaining that a member of staff told them her to leave the kitchen if she didn't like fags then promptly lit up, this member of staff has several fag breaks in the kitchen, which explains the stink in the shop.
The manager also smokes but goes outside through fire exit to puff away, which is right next to the kitchen.
I'm proper fuming, I'm not being OTT am i? It's illegal for a start but I don't want my daughter to breathe in skanky second hand smoke. And before anyone says it, no she's not making it up to cover for trying them herself. She hates smoking with a passion, her Dad has the occasional fag and she gets really upset by it.

I don't want to report a charity and get them a massive fine but at the same time I want them to know it's not bloody on in this day and age to smoke in a shop and especially smoking around kids. Do I email head office, message the manager directly or just report them?

My daughter doesn't want me to say anything as she has quite a few more hours to complete there, I feel I need to say something but don't want to make things awkward for her either.
WWYD?

OP posts:
Original poster
Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 16:08

Yes, I'll just tell her to suck it up...perhaps I should just buy her some fags too. Honestly what a twat haha 😝

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 27/01/2018 16:12

Did your dd arrange this herself or through the school? If it’s the school I would mention it to them and ask them to intervene. It’s definitely not acceptable.

ptumbi · 27/01/2018 16:13

My father and many of his peers were smoking regularly at that age. Many of my peers (b. 1970) were smoking occasionally at that age. - and many of these people will be dead, or dying of smoking related diseases by now.

This is why it' s illegal.

Original poster
Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 16:14

D of E is through the school but she found the placement herself. I've emailed head office now so they can sort it out. If I don't hear back from them I'll report it.

OP posts:
Drainedandconfused · 27/01/2018 16:14

I’d report it after she has finished her hours there, I’d hate for things to be difficult for her, whenever somebody ‘grasses’ someone always gets blamed and it most likely would be your DD.
My first job at 16 was an office junior, I was in a small office with 2 women and a man who all smoked (one woman chain smoked) the door was closed and only a little window was open Sad I used to feel sick by lunchtime and go home at the end of the day with a headache and stinking. I was too scared to speak up so good on your daughter for opening her mouth.

BewareOfDragons · 27/01/2018 16:16

Please report them.

Not only are they breaking the law, they're letting a bully run the show.
And endangering people's health.

TheBrilliantMistake · 27/01/2018 16:25

I would report it, as head office will just warn them and it'll stop for a month, then start up again, with it being put down to 'that silly schoolgirl'.
It affects customers too.

It won't help if the manager is a smoker too, and although trying to set an example by smoking outside, by the kitchen doesn't do many favours.
In slight defence of smokers, they simply don't realise how easily you can smell it. What they consider to be a 'swift fag that'll go unnoticed' is highly noticeable. I am partly surprised they are willing to do this in front of a schoolgirl, but at the same time, I expect they think she's temporary, wouldn't say boo to a goose, and not 'important' enough to matter.

Tringley · 27/01/2018 16:26

The charity head office will take that extremely seriously. At a minimum the store manager will be given a warning and told to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Bossbaby12 · 27/01/2018 16:28

Erica- what was the point of that comment? So strange.

Anyway OP! I would report them too, I'd be fuming if it was me.

TheBrilliantMistake · 27/01/2018 16:36

I'll get flamed for this, but I've had a small laugh to myself about the phrase 'suck it up' and 'I'd be fuming' over a thread about smoking.

We can still laugh when discussing a serious subject right?

Butterymuffin · 27/01/2018 16:42

You're right to report it. Really anti social of them and they're breaking their own employer's rule (and the law!) so they've only got themselves to blame for the consequences.

ChasedByBees · 27/01/2018 16:45

I’d report it to head office too. Your DD will be able to complete her hours, whether there or elsewhere.

Viviennemary · 27/01/2018 16:46

I think you are absolutely right to be annoyed about this. I'd go straight to Head Office with this. I wonder if this is a volunteer or a paid member of staff. Because if you don't then the chances are somebody else will. It could make the insurance for the whole shop invalid.

Bossbaby12 · 27/01/2018 16:52

What is funny about 'I'd be fuming' mistake?

I would be fuming about my DD going to do her work experience and having to be around people smoking inside her place of work when they shouldn't be in the first place.

TheBrilliantMistake · 27/01/2018 16:54

The term 'fuming' (not the sentiment!)... fumes! the play on words.

Original poster
Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 16:55

Brilliantmistake....there's some good smoking puns! Lol

OP posts:
Bossbaby12 · 27/01/2018 16:55

I realised the second I replied Blush Hahahaha sorry about that!!

TheBrilliantMistake · 27/01/2018 16:56

I'm no match for some of these punsters!

LilQueenie · 27/01/2018 16:59

report it and dont wait either. I f they are happy to break the law and treat your dd like that what else are they doing?

NeganLovesLucille · 27/01/2018 17:02

You are not over reacting at all. I would not let her go back at all and I would explain why to head office. She can volunteer at a different place to get her hours in.

Ignore people saying that she should finish her hours first. She can change placement.

And as for the idiotic comment by ericea - just spechless at the disregard for laws and science!

Mulch · 27/01/2018 17:03

Be a super grass and get them told. This day and age there is no excuse to smoke in doors

TheBrilliantMistake · 27/01/2018 17:04

No problem Bossbaby!

TheBrilliantMistake · 27/01/2018 17:09

I can see why people say 'let her finish her hours' - it just makes for a smoother path for her daughter, and I can't blame anybody for taking that stance. As long as they get their comeuppance, the better.

I would imagine you could report it anonymously anyway, and customers will have noticed the smell, if not having actually seen them smoking.

This issue actually happens in load of places especially small offices and restaurants etc where staff go for a quick fag out the back door, or kitchen and the wind is blowing smoke back inside. Same with company vehicles etc. I know some smokers feel like social outcasts already, but they don't help themselves with fag ends all around entrances and exits either.

Yellowsubmarine75 · 27/01/2018 17:15

You were right to report op.

Original poster
Spicylolly · 27/01/2018 17:57

Another volunteers mum has also reported to head office now as she's just found out about it. Glad I wasn't over reacting. Think I'd be less annoyed if I caught her smoking herself, then it would be her own stupid fault but for someone to make her breathe their second hand skanky cancer fumes really p*sses me off.

OP posts:
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