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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think crying over a puppy snapping at your heels is a bit pathetic?

466 replies

outofthefryingpan · 26/01/2018 22:32

We have a 7 month old pup. A small breed which will never grow higher that knee height. A friend came round unexpectedly with her 9 yo boy and because husband thought it was our daughter he let the pup down to greet her when he opened the door.

Pup ran outside and started snapping at ankles of the 9yo boy. Pup chased him a bit until husband managed to pick him up. Boy crying hysterically in floods of tears. Mother (friend) then storms off in a huff and apparently then arrives home herself in tears. Friend’s husband then demands we “do something about that dog”.
I’ve apologised profusely but they’re still all really upset about it. AIBU to think they’re being a bit pathetic about it? They’re good friends and I really value our relationship as I’ve always thought of them as really sensible people. Can’t believe the drama over this 5 second incident! I could understand it if it was a big dog but honestly- it’s tiny!

I suppose if you’re not used to dogs you don’t know how to deal with them but am I really BU to think it’s a daft drama over nothing?

OP posts:
greendale17 · 27/01/2018 07:03

YABU- The 9 yr old boys reaction

YANBU- the hysterical mothers reaction

christinarossetti · 27/01/2018 07:04

Great thread. OP posted at 10.30pm last night and there are now 11 pages of YABUs with no sign of the OP..

I was going to explain why I think she's BU but I hope that she's already got the. Message.

Dani240 · 27/01/2018 07:21

The thing is, most people who are scared of dogs are scared because of previous incidents of dogs frightening and chasing them.

My DD is two and is terrified of dogs because she was playing in a children's playground and an out of control dog ran up to her and jumped on her and bowled her over. Whether he was 'playing' or not it was very very frightening for her. Now when we are passing a dog I will often pick her up - both to make her feel safe and so that she doesn't bolt and cause the dog to chase her. Are we both pathetic?

Spikeyball · 27/01/2018 07:22

"The 9 yo was entitled to be upset. If he’s not been taught how to handle being around animals and how they behave"

My son spends lots of time outdoors with dogs around but would still be distressed if a dog ran around him snapping at him. When he is in that state nothing gets through to him. He has little understanding generally.
Dog owners should bear this in mind when they see someone become distressed about a dog being in their space.
All the " he is only being friendly" doesn't work for a child in a meltdown and who wouldn't understand what you are saying even if they weren't

FrancinePefko · 27/01/2018 07:24

The reason the children are scared is probably because they have had a previous bad experience with a dog

There is actually quite a lot of evidence that some people are born with a fear of dogs. Most phobic responses are learned but others (loud noises or the dark) appear may be innate.

Believeitornot · 27/01/2018 07:24

The 9 yo was entitled to be upset. If he’s not been taught how to handle being around animals and how they behave

Hmm

He’s entitled to be upset full stop especially if the OP didn’t do anything about it.

He’s 9 and the dog is bigger to him than an adult. Poor child. I’d have been furious.

claraschu · 27/01/2018 07:24

The OP apologised profusely to the family.

No one was hurt
The OP never says that the 9 year old has a dog phobia. In fact, if he had such a phobia, the parents wouldn't call unexpectedly on a friend with a dog.
I think the parents and the child all overreacted in an absurd way.

Pickleypickles · 27/01/2018 07:25

I got chased and snapped at just like that by a 9 month old puppy when i was 9 or 10 (except it was a doberman so a bit bigger) and it was honestly terrifying. I am still scared of dogs not on the lead even now so i think YABU, really unreasonable.

ghostyslovesheets · 27/01/2018 07:30

YABU - but you new that when you posted this thread and left it to fester hey OP!

KitNCaboodle · 27/01/2018 07:37

What is pathetic is yet another dog owner believing that everyone should love their dog as much as they do, and not understanding everyone is different. Keep your bloody dog under control.

Not yet RTFT but amen to this.

I bet you call it your furbaby too.

Nancy91 · 27/01/2018 07:37

It sounds like neither you or the others know enough about dogs to safely be around one.

debbs77 · 27/01/2018 07:37

You cow!!!!!

Lots of adults wouldn't like that!

EmMcK · 27/01/2018 07:44

I am posting in a ranty way because owners like you piss me right off.
Your little dog needs as much discipline as every other dog. You are patently failing there. 7 months is not a fucking puppy. You are infantilising a dog and creating a horror. Regime the poor bugger to someone who can actually care for it.

maxthemartian · 27/01/2018 07:46

Oh for gods sake, it's not like the child had it's leg gnawed off.
It's like a competition to outdo each other with ever more hysterical responses.

Believeitornot · 27/01/2018 07:47

Why @claraschu did the child over react? He’s 9 and would clearly have been terrified. It’s not hard to dredge up some empathy.

Or maybe it is.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 27/01/2018 07:50

If that had been my son your dog (and I agree, you are minimising by calling a 7mo dog a 'puppy') had bitten at, I would have been reporting you for your dog being out of control. Friend or not.

Control your dog. Obviously not something you are good at, if the animal was allowed to chase a child until your husband 'managed' to pick it up ('managed' makes it sound as if it were a struggle).

It's owners like you that mean I avoid dogs, all dogs.

Angry
bastardkitty · 27/01/2018 07:53

YABVU. OK you apologised really profusely. But reading your further comments you just sound unpleasant and not sorry at all.

Pugsleypugs · 27/01/2018 07:54

I had a similar experience as a child, a family member's dog ran out at me and nipped at my ankles. It DID scare me at the time and I don't feel I was unreasonable, as a child, to be frightened of a dog I didn't really know behaving like that round me.

YABU. But you either know that now or it was a reverse in the first place.

StripySocksAndDocs · 27/01/2018 08:01

Seeing outofthefryingpan hasn't come back you'd wondering just how much bullshittery there is on the descriptions of the boy's hysterics, the mum's huff and the dad's demanding.

I have to confess I often think the real issue in these situations is the undeclared stuff.

What actually happened; what the actual reactions were; and most importantly how the OP behaved.

Chugalug · 27/01/2018 08:01

I've a puppy ,small cross breed, v small, rabbit size dog..she's occasionally been a bit nippy during play up to 6 months or so,after that no..but never chasing people to nip their feet,she's always thrilled to see a visitor as it always means more fuss for her..I'd be very unhappy if she behaved like that ,and I'd agree with your friends that I would indeed sort it out...by having controlled introductions to visitors ,not allowing the pup to go mad when someone comes.but removing them away from the visitor untill pup could be brought in calmly with a chew ready to settle down and not be a bother

Chugalug · 27/01/2018 08:05

Where's the op?? Did she come back ,or are we all wasting our time trying to help ?

Ski4130 · 27/01/2018 08:13

Holy hell, this escalated!

OP - I think YABU calling a 9 year old’s reaction pathetic, but your friend presumably knows you have a dog, so her over the top reaction to the dog being in your house is ridiculous. It sounds like the boy wasn’t hurt, and that you tried to stop the dog as soon as possible.

In our house we co exist nicely with our 7 month old, small breed puppy. She does get quite excited when visitors arrive (she doesn’t snap or bite, but she does sometimes jump up for cuddles/ear rubs) We leave her outside until everyone’s settled, then let her in and make sure she’s not jumping or annoying anyone BUT this is our house, and she does live here, so people who visit know and expect her to be there. My niece (2) is a bit more wary of her because obviously she’s smaller and a jumpy dog is more in her face, so we’ve taught her to tell the puppy to go to bed when she’s not ready to have her near her.

Some pp need to stop and think about how aggressively they’re ranting at the op.

Chattymummyhere · 27/01/2018 08:16

It’s always little dogs and the owners always think it’s fine because they are small. Why? Your dog has teeth just like my big dogs just because my can do more damage than your small dog doesn’t mean your small dog can bite. We have a owner like you down our road with their little dog who’s not been trained. It came into our garden and started snapping at my dh’s Legs the owner not giving a crap suddenly was all offended when my husband offered to let our dogs come and play in the same way as his because it’s different because our dogs are bigger. No it’s not train your dog properly!! Angry

I have children one of which is petrified of dogs coming near her now even though we have dogs because of some idiot who let them dog grab her in her pushchair and start yanking her around.

Yet to meet a gsd who goes around nipping and biting people. Always chi’s/poms/Yorkies etc

notsohippychick · 27/01/2018 08:23

Yes, you are being VERY unreasonable.

Sort out your attitude. And your dog.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/01/2018 08:24

You have been insensitive regarding the boy OP. If the dog nipped him regardless of his age, this can really hurt.

The boy has met the dog before? How was he then?

It does sound though like this family are on the dramatic side I have to say.