MY 9 YEAR OLD SWORE .. NOT TO PUNISH?!

[BLUESEAPARADISE]

AIBU?

You may remember me from previous posts as I have posted a few times about how proud I am of my little man eg saying his FIRST word when he was 9 years ( told he would NEVER TALK) and sharing his vocabulary updates and also sharing his FIRST EVER play date a couple of weeks ago..

If you don't know my son is 9 years old and has autism ( and other things) and is develop mentally that of a young toddler and has started talking / saying the odd word here and there ( "hi, oh no," etc) anyway today he Swore and I have no idea how to handle this!
We were in a restaurant waiting for our meal when suddenly DS said ( very loudly) " Oh Fuck!" I had no idea what to do as people looked over at us so I tried to distract DS .. it didn't work he said it a couple more times and with each time more people looked over at us DS really doesn't understand what he is saying / what the word means or even understand it is a " bad word" even if we did tell him he stop saying it there would be a very strong chance he wouldn't as he doesn't understand ! 😩 one person looked over and told me to " stop the kid swearing.. he needs a good telling off , when I was his age I wouldn't of got away with it " I felt so put on the spot we had to leave without having our meal .. AIBU to not punish him?

We know we need to watch what we say and we usually are really good with that but sometimes things happen and words slip out!

AIBU to not punish him? He doesn't know what he is saying but I am now worried to take him out in case we have a similar situation!

You can't punish him if his understanding level is that of a toddler.

My ds has only ever said one word in his 23 years. He only did it once.

Just be very, very careful what you say in front of your ds as his language skills develop.

I wouldn't punish him given the history. I don't know if I'd celebrate it...but deffo wouldn't punish.
Would probably laugh long and loud

If your DS has issues around language then of course you can't 'punish' him for using a word, even if it's 'fuck'. It's a word. People don't die from hearing it.

I think I'd have smiled and apologised and got on with the meal. If your DS sees that 'fuck' provokes an angry or upset reaction is there a chance he'll use it again?

Definitely don’t punish. Not really react either. Maybe model an alternative e.g “oh DEAR! That’s right... oh DEAR!” Or distract with a little walk or something similar. The gambling machines were always handy in a pub or restaurant as they have lights etc.
You don’t need to justify your sons actions or words to anyone, though you could quietly tell people being rude or gawking that he has autism, what’s their excuse? Cheeky nosey people.

Hi my oldest is 14, he has autism amongst other disabilities. You wouldn't believe the words that come out his mouth. I tell him we don't speak like that but he doesn't get punished for it

Thankyou everyone I am definitely going to be more aware of what we say in the future!

It's just typical that he picked THAT word ( we rarely say) over all of the other words we say multiple times a day and it was the clearest!

How did his play date go? I couldn't find the post again?

They will always say the words we don't want them to..

I hope he had a fab first play date. That's a huge deal

DS1 has Autism and when he was younger (he's 12 now) he only spoke when it suited him. He could speak absolutely beautifully, but actively chose not to depending on the person/time/day/weather.

We went out to Tesco and he was sat in the trolley with DH pushing it (DS1 was around 3) and DH dropped something as he picked it up off the shelf. DS1 looked DH dead in the eye and loudly explained "you wanker". And continued to repeat it about 17 times til everyone around was looking. DH looked at the old couple next to us, smiled his jovial smile and said "well, at least it wasn't 'fuck', eh?" and trundled off. I was (and am still) in awe that he could be so cool in those circumstances.

it's only a word that is used by millions daily...don't stress.

For an unbearably long time, my DD ate with a knife and a fuck

No, don't punish him! Just ignore and distract.

My youngest is ASD and his language would make peoples toes curl. I ignore it, he’s of the opinion words are words and mean nothing (he applies no emotion to them)and can’t understand how we get worked up about ‘words’. I just call out “thank you but I’m not liking the words you’re using so can we use other less offensive to me words please”. He doesn’t listen but I’ve tried, we can’t and shouldn’t reprimand ASD thinking in the traditional sense, just try to educate them that others will find their words offensive no matter how much they see them as just words.

Thankyou everyone .. I am trying my absolute best to ignore it and distract him but he is still saying it 😩

He had a great first play date Thankyou! He spent the time with his feet on the washing machine eating custard but he was calm and enjoyed himself :D

I wouldn't worry. (I find it much more offensive when people call others stupid or idiots, or stuff like that.) If he says it again just tell him, mildly, that it's best not to use that word because lots of people don't like it, then change the subject.

It would be unfair to punish him. If he keeps it up you just need to explain that he doesn't understand what he's saying.
It's quite common for those kinds of words to be picked up by children with speech issues. And not necessarily from you. They tend to be shouted or said with a lot of emphasis so are interesting to hear and replicate. Words like 'wow' are the same.