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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am i a hormonal mess or is there some truth to it?

7 replies

Hisnamesblaine · 26/01/2018 16:52

Hi guys. Im currently 8/9 weeks pregant and feeling very low. Altho actively trying to conceive for the last year my DP was very quiet when we got the positive test. He shows little interest in it and has actually said the age gap between our children will be too much (will be 5 years). All this is making me sad but i do hope his attitude wil change as he is a fantastic father to our DS. Anyway he changed job in Nov due to redundancy. He is now in a white collar job and enjoyed going out and buying smart clothing etc. He takes longer to groom in the morning. Fair enough hes got toclook the part. Hes started going to the gym 3 nights a week and getting regular haircuts etc. Again i wasnt concerned as we both put on the podge over christmas. But yesterday he informed me he was going out after work for a drink for a leaving do party. I asked did he want tea he didn't answer. I texted today and asked again as i meal plan for the week and like to be orgainised. He texted back. Had a big lunch so ok. Ill see you when i see you. Im not usually a nag hassling him for e.t.a etc. But i fancied the gym tonight with a friend so cant tell her a time i can be ready.... if at all. Im just finding his lack of telling me things really disrespectful. Also he is hanging out with 20 somethings. We are both 40! I think hes loving his new worklife and friends. Meanwhile im a fat frumpy mess who isnt happy in my workplace at the minute. So im asking the people of mumsnet am i being unreasonable in wanting to know what my DP is up to?

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 26/01/2018 16:58

Did he know you were hoping to go to the gym tonight?

Pickleypickles · 26/01/2018 17:00

Yes and no, if he wants to go to a leaving do he should be able to that and i dont think its unreasonable to expect someone to say "ill probably be back around X". BUT i do think not wanting him to go or to be back early because you wanted to go out with your friend instead is a bit U.

Hisnamesblaine · 26/01/2018 17:01

No to be fair. I cancelled last night as i didnt feel well.so thought id go tonight.

OP posts:
LostInShoebiz · 26/01/2018 17:03

There's the answer then. He has no idea you wanted to go out yourself and you haven't told him. He's got a new job not a mind-reading ability.

Hisnamesblaine · 26/01/2018 17:05

I have absolutely no problem with him going out. I just wanted a reply re the food situation and time getting back so i know what to do my end. We are both allowed to docwhat we want with friends thats necer been a issue. I just feel a distance between us since my pregnancy annoucement and in all honestly i think hes avoiding me

OP posts:
BrownTurkey · 26/01/2018 17:13

It does sound as though he is pulling away from you a bit, but is that just some time to process the pregnancy, or is it a bigger issue? I would be kind for a while, while also looking after yourself and your needs, and if he doesn't reconnect soon, I would be more direct.

Motoko · 26/01/2018 17:19

I wouldn't expect him back in time for you to go to the gym, if he's going to someone's leaving do.

I think you need to talk to him about his coolness since you found out you were pregnant, considering you were actively TTC.

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