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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To report this lad for dangerous driving?

20 replies

Imnotposhjustquaint · 26/01/2018 11:15

The incident happened yesterday on the school run.

We live rurally and a lot of the roads can just fit two cars abreast. The hedges are also pretty high and overgrown, lots of sharp bends and not much room for error.

Anyway this particular bit of road is very steep and as I was travelling up towards a bend I saw the roof of a car approaching the bend from the opposite direction. I noted that he was driving VERY quickly for the conditions (it was icy at that time and untreated) so I pulled in as far as I could get and slowed right down.

This young lad shot around the corner and quite obviously for a second lost the control of his car, he was going far too fast for the conditions (I would estimate between 50-60 mph) and all I can remember is his car coming towards us at speed, DD (4) in the back whimpered ‘mummy’ and put her hands over her face. Somehow he managed to miss us but must’ve been literally inches, I stayed and looked in my rear view mirror to check that he hadn’t crashed and he managed to regain control of the car.

I know this lad, he’s local, in his mid twenties and nice enough but he passed his test about 28 months ago and this isn’t the first time he’s nearly cleaned me up but this time was far too close for my liking plus DD was in the car. DD was crying when we got school and I was physically shaking and had to calm down before driving back.

On my way home I saw him outside the village shop. I parked my car and basically told him what I thought of his driving. Initially he didn’t apologise, he made excuses and said that the sun was in his eyes, fair enough but if that’s the case then you slow down! He eventually apologised and promised he’d slow down.

I got home and told DP I wanted to report him. He disagreed and said that I’d marked his card and bollocked him outside the village shop and probably humiliated him (which he agreed was probably what he needed to make him stop and think). I was happy to leave it at that but now I’m thinking what if he does the same next week and kills someone, maybe a visit or a letter off the police might make him really take notice.

He already written one car off and as I’ve said it’s certainly not the first time I’ve seen him drive so recklessly. If his driving killed someone and I hadn’t reported him I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

Imnotposhjustquaint · 26/01/2018 11:17

He passed his test 18 months ago sorry not 28

OP posts:

StopCallingMeShirley · 26/01/2018 11:17

It would be your word against his for reporting an incident with no cameras or witnesses and no damage. You said your piece, I would leave it at that.

Stormwhale · 26/01/2018 11:18

I agree that he needs to be stopped, but I can't see what reporting him will do. He hasn't actually crashed into you and so it's all your word against his. He sounds like a mega twat and I'm glad you had a word with him, but I think reporting him would do nothing. Sorry you were so shaken op, how frightening.

EggsonHeads · 26/01/2018 11:20

YABU not to report him. He could kill someone, the only reason he didn't hit you was luck. people like that shouldn't be on the road. People like your husband who are too timid to cause problems for selfish fuckers who risk other people's lives are partly to blame when accidents happen. Don't be like your husband.

Original poster

Imnotposhjustquaint · 26/01/2018 11:20

Fair enough, I’ll leave it at that. Yes very frightening. I’ve been driving on these roads for 10 bears and it goes with the territory that you get used to near misses but that’s all they are but this really shook both of us up.

I think the fact that DD was so frightened is what infuriated me so much.

Time for a dash cam I think!

OP posts:

PiffleandWiffle · 26/01/2018 11:22

Good luck. I've tried to report people before & quite frankly the police aren't interested unless its actually been involved in an incident.

You've already told him off, that'll probably have more effect coming from someone he knows than some faceless plod going through the motions TBH...

PiffleandWiffle · 26/01/2018 11:22

X post

Original poster

Imnotposhjustquaint · 26/01/2018 11:23

Eggs that’s exactly what I’m thinking. My brother was reported for driving like a lunatic once, there were no cameras to prove anything (but I think he’d had a warning or a caution before hand regarding a different incident) and he got a visit.
It really calmed his driving down as he couldn’t afford to lose his license.

OP posts:

Stormwhale · 26/01/2018 11:24

Dash cam is a brilliant idea. Especially if you do end up in an accident with someone on those roads. It is a much easier process if you can prove who caused it. You would have something to back you up if you see him driving like a dick again too.

Annwithnoe · 26/01/2018 11:31

OP if you had words with him and cane away still feeling like he hadn’t got the message and you still wanted to report him, then I think I’d prioritize your opinion over your DH’s.

Annwithnoe · 26/01/2018 11:31

came not cane

EnglandKeepMyBones · 26/01/2018 11:37

Without any evidence the police wouldn't be able to much about it sadly. If you have the funds to invest in a dashcam I'd do that, and if it does happen again - hand it to the police. I'm sorry your daughter was frightened, is she feeling better now?

RowenasDiadem · 26/01/2018 11:39

Get a dashcam! They're bloody great! I have a Kaiser Baas R40 (about £80 or less) and it's fantastic. It's evidence of dangerous driving for the police and invaluable in the event of an accident. Also, putting the Twat up on your local FB page wouldn't be a bad idea!

Original poster

Imnotposhjustquaint · 26/01/2018 11:42

Rowenas thank you I’ll be looking into getting one for definite! I did actually put a status up and I tagged him in it.

His DM defended him, apparently I was in the middle of the road!!

OP posts:

Ilovecamping · 26/01/2018 12:12

I reported drunk unlicensed driver to police, they did nothing. This particular person has been reported numerous times to police and nothing has happened.

PiffleandWiffle · 26/01/2018 16:22

His DM defended him, apparently I was in the middle of the road!!

This is the problem, it all descends into "he said, she said" unless there is evidence.

I was knocked off of my motorbike recently - luckily the helmet cam footage shows that I was totally in the right otherwise the other driver could have said all sorts (it was a strange junction)

Original poster

Imnotposhjustquaint · 26/01/2018 18:24

piffle I was in a motorbike accident too, have got pins in my leg as a result. Car drive was proven to be a fault.

This is it and due to his mother’s incapability to see any wrong doing in her son, he will probably go back to driving like a bell end.

OP posts:

AngelsSins · 26/01/2018 19:04

If he's already written one car off, and that didn't stop him, I'm not sure your words with him, will change his driving unfortunately. I think the dash cam idea is really good, then if you ever have a run in with him again, and it's on camera, absolutely report him.

specialsubject · 26/01/2018 19:07

While he should ideally be banned for life, until he actually kills nothing can be done. With luck the other half of the inevitable crash will be a tree.

ozymandiusking · 26/01/2018 19:11

If you report it to the police, they have to go and see him and have a word. It isn't a case of your word against his, or there were no witnesses.
I wouldn't feel at all bad about reporting him.
There are far too many young men causing accidents and injuring people.

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