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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want this stopped?!

387 replies

Notasperfectasallothermners · 26/01/2018 10:57

Dd started secondary school in September. Loves it, really settled well - no worries regarding peers /work etc. However, had an issue with food tech last week where dd (vegi entire life) was given pre measured out ingredients to make biscuits, as dd didnt know what lard was she used it and brought the biscuits home. All dc sat and ate them, will admit they were nice! Until she mentioned lard and Googled it herself. Not a happy dd! Told her things happen and not to worry, not lovely to drop down in a heap this once sort of thing.
Rang the school to remind them she is vegi etc, mistakes happen - don't expect head on a platter etc...
Then yesterday she gets home, salad wrap for lunch, server wearing gloves to handle ingredients makes hers - after handling ham to the previous dc in the line! Rang school again, they will be speaking to the caterers today. Fed up. Sad

OP posts:
Surfingwhippet · 26/01/2018 12:15

The analogy i use is, would you be happy if it was dog meat rather than ham that your food was cross contaminated with?
Why should it be any different because it's something regularly eaten in our culture?
There was an outcry during the horse meat scandal with people not wanting to eat it. Why should ham be any different to a vegetarian?
For the record I am not vegetarian and would happily eat horse. Although probably not dog

mustbemad17 · 26/01/2018 12:16

Surely the easiest solution is for the school to invest in the wonderful invention of tongs? Avoids cross contamination regardless of a child's need!!!

KayaG · 26/01/2018 12:16

Actually a vegetarian is psychologically allergic to meat, as in eating it, even accidentally goes against everything that you stand for & hurts your soul.

Dear God. A joke post, surely. No one is that ridiculous.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 26/01/2018 12:16

Sprinklestar - but did the person serving OP's DD actually know that she was vegetarian or did they think she just wanted a salad wrap.

taskmaster · 26/01/2018 12:17

The analogy i use is, would you be happy if it was dog meat rather than ham that your food was cross contaminated with?Why should it be any different because it's something regularly eaten in our culture?

Dog food is not edible by humans. Hmm

ChickenPaws · 26/01/2018 12:18

What about the lorry driver who delivered the ingredients for the sandwiches? He may have had a bacon sandwich for his breakfast Shock

The person serving may not be using cruelty free cosmetics 😬

You can take this to the nth degree and don’t even begin to look into how cruel the dairy industry is, never let her go down that black hole.

Don’t be that parent.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 26/01/2018 12:18

Actually a vegetarian is psychologically allergic to meat, as in eating it, even accidentally goes against everything that you stand for & hurts your soul. My own DD had nightmares for months after a similar incident happened to her

Psycologically allergic?!? This has got to be a joke surely!

Idontdowindows · 26/01/2018 12:18

Dog food is not edible by humans. hmm

Dog food is perfectly edible for humans.

ShastaTrinity · 26/01/2018 12:19

Dog food is not edible by humans

Possibly not, but dog meat is.
not that I want to eat dog meat Grin

LaLaLolly · 26/01/2018 12:19

No, do not ask for her to be included with the children who have actual allergies

Totally agree.
My eyes are rolling so far back into my head right now...

A child in our family have LETHAL food allergies (following transplant) and it's a struggle to get school, and people in general, to fully understand the seriousness of the situation.

This type of unreasonable behaviour is cringe worthy.

taskmaster · 26/01/2018 12:20

Sorry, dog meat! Ok, well whatever, I've eaten dog. I wouldn't give a shit.

Surfingwhippet · 26/01/2018 12:20

Dog meat, not dog food

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 26/01/2018 12:20

I don’t think it’s a school issue, you Dd needs to educate herself on her food choices, also to speak up for herself and advise she won’t be handling meat, or bringing it home.

The school is educating your dd on food and food groups, so they are not doing anything wrong.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 26/01/2018 12:21

As a veggie, I don't think YABU for being annoyed. I personally wouldn't kick up a fuss about it myself but people have their own level of tolerance.

What YABU about is fighting her battles for her. At 12 I would expect her to point out to the server that she was veggie and that she wanted new gloves. It clearly bothered her enough to tell you about it.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 26/01/2018 12:21

taskmaster - I know what your are saying but if the OP's DD feels so strongly this might be an easier option for the school. At least her food would be prepared separately and they would know what food they needed to get ready in advance.

School canteens are under so much pressure to feed hundreds of children in a small window it might actually be easier for them. They probably have to assume if the child isn't on their list for special dietary needs they can eat everything in order to get the numbers of children fed.

Alternatively, take a packed lunch.

Sprinklestar · 26/01/2018 12:21

There are different issues here. Her salad was touched by someone who had just used the same gloves to touch ham. That’s disgusting by anyone’s food safety standards! Really not the same as saying the delivery driver might have eaten a bacon sandwich Hmm

MrsDilber · 26/01/2018 12:22

Let me get this right, you expected special gloves to be changed by a Dinner lady, handing out sandwiches? Yabvvvvvvu

How is she going to cope in the real world op?

taskmaster · 26/01/2018 12:22

taskmaster - I know what your are saying but if the OP's DD feels so strongly this might be an easier option for the school. At least her food would be prepared separately and they would know what food they needed to get ready in advance

No. If she feels that strongly, she can bring in a lunch box. Allergies are different. Vegetarianism in a 12 year old is a whim, at best a choice. Do not compare it.

mustbemad17 · 26/01/2018 12:23

So if I wanted a salad wrap (i eat meat) i'd still have to basically accept that it would be contaminated with something else like ham? Regardless of whether i'm veggie, allergic, forbidden to eat it or just don't want to eat the bloody ham, that's pretty outrageous. And easy to prevent ffs!

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 26/01/2018 12:23

Erm....WTF? Actually a vegetarian is psychologically allergic to meat, as in eating it, even accidentally goes against everything that you stand for & hurts your soul. My own DD had nightmares for months after a similar incident happened to her

taskmaster · 26/01/2018 12:23

Her salad was touched by someone who had just used the same gloves to touch ham. That’s disgusting by anyone’s food safety standards!

Nope, its fine from a safety standpoint. As long as the ham is not raw, its no problem at all.

MikeUniformMike · 26/01/2018 12:23

YANBU re the gloves. The staff should use different tools for different ingredients.
Lard - a lot of people don't know what lard is and think it just refers to any fat.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 26/01/2018 12:27

Sprinklestar - have you seen how many children a secondary school canteen has to cater for? There are 1200 children at my DC's school. The ham wasn't uncooked where, I would agree, it would be a problem it was cooked ham. I am not dismissing OP's concerns and if her DD feels very strongly about this they obviously need to find a way around it. I am sure if her DD had said I am vegetarian could you please make me another wrap with new gloves the catering assistant would have done that.

MikeUniformMike · 26/01/2018 12:27

lard
lɑːd/
noun
noun: lard

fat from the abdomen of a pig that is rendered and clarified for use in cooking.

Cookeen is solid vegetable fat. It is not lard.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 26/01/2018 12:30

taskmaster - I was just investigating alternative options that is all.

You come across as very patronising.

If you read my posts in full you would see that twice I have suggested a packed lunch and also stated that the school canteen is under a lot of pressure.