No heating or hot water, was this an unreasonable suggestion

[happygirlie18]

So we have no heating & hot water as the boiler has decided to break. I happen to be on annual leave today so sitting waiting for British Gas to come round. We also have DD who is 23 months.

Boiler broke yesterday. The repair people could have come round yesterday but I had to work and DH finished nights in the morning and refused to stay up and wait for them. If it was just me and DH it wouldn't be an issue but as we have DD I was worried she would be cold (ok not the coldest night of the year) so I had said to some people at work if we had no heating etc that I may consider going to stay with DD at my parents-in-law.

We managed to get the boiler part working in the evening so managed to give DD a bath and it wasn't cold. When I said to DH that if it had got worse I would have stayed at his parents he went crazy, said it was the most stupid idea ever and that I was totally over reacting! And that he would have been really upset if I had of done that (for the record I'm really close to my parents in law and it wouldn't have been an issue for them)

DH worked again last night, the house was like an ice box and DD wouldn't sleep from 0130 - 0430 in her bed only on me so I think she was cold despite having fleece pyjamas on and her quilt. She is quite a bad sleeper anyway but has had a really good week so could have been coincidence. I messaged DH this morning (he worked again last night) he said oh well she'll have to get used to it.

Hopefully British Gas will be here soon and no harm done but his attitude just really annoyed me and I really didn't think it was such a bad suggestion!

Deux

I think you might have hit the nail on the head their - maybe he is thinking wife and child have to go running to dad and it will make me look bad? What a dick

*there not their

Someone needed to be in for the gas engineer, nit awake the whole time. He could sleep till the doorbell rang, or go back to bed after.

I don’t think anyone should regularly miss sleep, but one day/shift with a bit of interrupted sleep wouldn’t have been catastrophic (unless OP says he works with heavy machinery/makes life-changing decisions). All parents of small children have functioned on a less-than-ideal amount of sleep.

Oh yes he doesn't want to look bad by you letting his parents know what a selfish mean-tempered dickwad they raised.

However, probably best to give them the heads up now, if they're nice you'll be turning to them for support when you've finally had it and leave him, won't you?

Go to PIL's and have a good talk with them.

He sounds like a knob end. I don’t know what your relationship is usually like but if this had been me I would have just told DP what I was doing and said a cheery “see you then.” He’s additionally awful for refusing to wait up after his night shift too. Is he generally an arsehole?

She's not even two and he's already putting himself (his sleep) above her needs? 'She'll have to get used to it' as a response to you saying a tiny toddler is freezing and can't sleep?

Really - this is quite bad. It's not 'not getting on.'

He's displaying an utterly awful, uncaring, nasty attitude to his daughter - already. She's a baby.

Have a good good think about whether you want this for her.

Apart from the CH issue, you work too and do all the night waking for your DD? He’s a totally selfish excuse for a man and a horrible father to think so little of his DD. Are you going to stay living with this man?

Yes we both work full time and DD goes to nursery. I work Mon-Fri, he works all sorts of weird shifts (earlies, lates & nights) He is a terrible sleeper because of his shift pattern so from about a month old I tool over the night time wakings.

He is a dick.

He sounds selfish and awful.

So no sign of boiler repair people yet (not surprising as was booked at the last minute and is an all day call out!) DH has woken up in a foul mood (last night was his last in this pattern so he tries to wake up early) When told the engineers aren't here his first words were 'well what am i going to do for food!' as we were going to go out for lunch/early dinner before he goes out drinking tonight for someones birthday!

Feeling very sorry for myself and really hope they hurry up!

While you have bigger issues, go buy a couple of electric heaters.

Tel him: "Oh well, he'll have to get used to it."

What PuppyMonkey said.

What a dick.