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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay this bill

60 replies

AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 17:28

Ds has music lessons. He used to have them at school but he had problems getting out of class so now we travel to the teacher's house.

In September Ds told me he was going to be working towards his Grade 1 exam. I bought the requested book & thought no more. I did make sure that his teacher knew that he would miss some lessons as he had the leading role in a local am dram show. We gave him the dates he would miss.

The show was November. In the run up he was rehearsing a lot so he didn't touch his instrument for two weeks. Pretty much expected but I knew once it was over he could then concentrate on that as I'd assumed his exam would be in the spring term sometime.

On the Friday of the show I was at the theatre & got a missed call from the teacher. It was to tell me that ds's exam was the following day. (He'd missed his lesson that week due to dress rehearsal). Of course there was no way he could do it as he had a matinee & evening performance. I didn't even know he'd been entered. If I'd been asked I'd have said no,he couldn't do any exams in the autumn term due to his Theatre commitment (he even got leeway from school for homework etc).

I've now been asked to pay the exam fee of over £40. Surely I should have been informed of the cost & asked if it was OK before the teacher put the entry in,not afterwards?

OP posts:
Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 18:10

No accompanist Liz it's a self accompanying instrument.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 18:12

I know he's disorganised as when the lessons were at school I was supposed to be billed termly & I always had to chase for the bill.

OP posts:
FluffyWuffy100 · 25/01/2018 18:12

He takes music lessons - the whole point of that is to take exams (otherwise you would just be letting him play around with instruments in his room

Oh for fucks sake. The point of music lessons isn’t only to pass exams. Honestly I dispair.

paxillin · 25/01/2018 18:13

How easily would your DS get used to a new teacher? How much demand does this teacher have, does he get to pick? I would drop a client who doesn't reimburse my costs and pick another.

LynetteScavo · 25/01/2018 18:14

Yanbu

My children have never been entered for an exam until I've paid.

I would also have presumed the exam would begin the summer term.

The teacher needs to learn an expensive lesson.

Coffeeandcrochet · 25/01/2018 18:21

FWIW I took a Trinity exam last November and had the time and date by the end of September, a good 6 weeks in advance...

I think YANBU OP. And whoever said the point of music lessons is to take exams has no soul Sad

Merryoldgoat · 25/01/2018 18:24

There is no way he only had a week's notice.

Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 18:30

The teacher told me he only had a week's notice. He gave me less that one days notice.

OP posts:
MichaelBendfaster · 25/01/2018 18:33

YANBU. Get an email address or actual address and write to say you won't be paying the fee.

But he would have known the "session" would be autumn term. If he'd asked me I'd have said no, please delay until Spring.

The teacher was told in September the dates he was doing the show

The teacher would have paid that when he entered the students. He did not check with me that I was ok with that.

Point out all of these things. IMO the way the teacher responds will tell you whether or not you need to go through the upheaval of changing teachers.

Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 18:33

He does 2 full days in ds's old school I don't know how many other private pupils or other schools he has. He also does ad hoc ensemble stuff.

OP posts:
cornflakegirl · 25/01/2018 18:34

We've always agreed a couple of weeks before the entry date whether we will actually enter that session - committing to doing the level of practice necessary over the following month. And always paid the fee upfront.
If you decline to pay, they might decline to keep teaching though.

Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 18:35

I've got a good friend who is a teacher & very active in the MU - I'm going to get her perspective. (She's ultra organised with signed contracts though so quite rightly imposes her terms fully).

OP posts:
Unicorndiscoball · 25/01/2018 18:35

Trinity are notoriously disorganised compared to ABRSM, (music teacher here) so I’m not surprised if they only found out about the date so late on. And the teacher should have asked for the fee upfront. however It sounds to me that the teacher entered him in good faith and it was obviously a wires crossed situation. I would pay up as I wouldn’t want him to be out of pocket personally but make it clear that you need to pay in advance before being committed to anything else. As a HoD I have learnt from bitter experience that I have to check with all parents directly before entering pupils for exams, to avoid this sort of situation occurring. If it were a school entry cock up I wouldn’t pay, as he wouldn’t be personally liable.

Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 18:36

Exactly cornflake - it wasn't just the date itself but also knowing that Ds could not commit to that level of practice.

It's like I've asked to delay dd's lamda exam until after her GCSE's.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 18:39

The system at the school is for the school to write to you saying thecteacher had reccomended your child for an exam. This was the fee, the likely dates, please reply by x.

I'd have been happy with a scrap of paper with a note on.

OP posts:
HotelEuphoria · 25/01/2018 18:43

I don't get this though, if you missed the lesson because of drama did you just not rock up or did you call the teacher to say awfully sorry but DS won't be there tonight. Did you pay for the missed lesson? And if you did ring the teacher, did he/she fail to mention the exam?

Clarification required 😀

HotelEuphoria · 25/01/2018 18:44

Sorry OP DD not DS.

Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 18:47

This is all explained in my OP.

In September we informed the teacher that Ds had the lead part in a show & therefore he would not be attending lessons on x & y dates in November. Plenty of notice.

On the Friday evening of show week the teacher called my mobile to tell me the exam was the very next day.

OP posts:
AlonsosLeftPinky · 25/01/2018 18:48

Tbh I'm surprised you didn't have a conversation with the tutor much earlier on, given you knew your son was working towards it having had to buy him the book?!

YearOfYouRemember · 25/01/2018 18:50

My dc have been taking piano and violin exams for years and we've had months of notice for the season the exam will be and then slightly less time for the actual date. Maybe he forgot to tell you the exam date and if so, I'd refuse to pay.

Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 18:51

To be honest I never dreamed it would be that term. It's usually at least two terms preparation unless the pupil is especially talented/diligent which Ds isn't.

He learns mostly because he's a singer but having a knowledge of an instrument will help him with gcse composition etc. And for fun.

OP posts:
HateTheDF · 25/01/2018 18:57

YANBU

I have taken exams before and I have always known weeks before hand. I also think that the teacher should have let you known he was entering your child before he didn't.

I wouldn't pay if I were you.

manicinsomniac · 25/01/2018 19:06

YANBU

I made a similar cock up with a pupil's LAMDA exam last year. Didn't leave time to get all the parental permission in before the entry deadline so entered them all anyway. We're a school so I knew that most would assume there would be exams and they are on during a normal school day on school premises. But still, I was lucky that only 1 child out of 90 had a holiday booked and couldn't take the exam.

It didn't even occur to me to bill the parents for my lack of communication and organisation.

I would probably change teacher if he maintains that it's your responsibility to pay. I know you said your DS has difficulty with change but he's handling a lead part in a theatre production - he will have had chaos, confusion and last minute change coming out of his ears for the past few weeks. If he's coped with that he may be more able to handle a teacher change than you think.

Original poster
AlexanderHamilton · 25/01/2018 19:09

He also had a Change of school in September too which was the best decision ever so yes, I think I'm leaning towards finding someone else.

OP posts:
ShellingPeasAgain · 25/01/2018 19:10

Hell no, don't pay. I'm a music teacher and use Trinity. I've always found they've been good with notification for exam dates so there's no way your DS's teacher would have been given a week's notice, and no way they should have told you the week before. My local exam centre's entry deadlines are usually two months before the potential exam dates, which are all listed prior to entry. You can even specify a preferred date. And now, with online booking for some centres, you know the date on entering. Even if it was a special visit, these are arranged well in advance - examiners don't just hang around waiting for a couple of kids to examine.

The teacher should have informed you they were entering your DS before they did so. I always (a) check the parent/career is okay with the child entering, (b) confirm costs, (c) get payment from the parent first, before entering. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for situations like yours.

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