Aibu wanting to be sterilised

[tupck]

Hello abit of background I'm 18 have a ds of 2 years old but Iv now been considering sterilisation I'm the part I no longer want children as I love just having one and also the chance that mental health problems run in my family and I do not want to pass on them genetics or even risk it we also have health problems that run in the family different for men and women, I hadn't realised the severity of the stuff that does pass down until after having my son (unplanned) which now worries me a lot. The mental health is worse in women in our family and the physical (back problems/cardio vesicular problems and blood clots) are present in both sexes. Aibu for wanting to be sterilised so I don't risk passing it on to any future children I could have (I use protection but there is always a risk) thank you for reading

I think you’d struggle to get it done on the NHS at your age because they don’t want to risk you changing your mind, which to be honest, you may well do.

Can you get some long term contraception? The coil perhaps? That’ll see you through for 5 years and then you can revisit the idea.

After my third child I asked What the likelihood is of being allowed a sterilisation but the nurse kind of laughed and said ‘not this side of thirty!’.

Although it might be wrong of me to base my advice on your age I would say don't do it. Your Life and Life View will change (though you might not think so) and you may regret taking such a huge irreversible step. There are other forms of contraception that are not permanent . If I were you I'd wait 5 / 10 years and see how I felt then .
Having said that, it's your body , your choice, but your future self might feel differently

Go and speak to your GP. But the NHS would not fund it unless you have a high chance of passing on some form of genetic illness or have cancer/severe reproductive system problems. You'd have to pay private and even then no one would ever likely carry out the operation on a teenager. They'll tell you to come back in your late 20s most likely.

Thank you for your advice everyone I'm currently on the pill and use condoms which I'm happy with,it's something iv been considering for a while with the severity of the health problems but I'm sure you're all right about my age but I will look into other options and see if there are options for when I get older if I potentially feel the same way,I do believe I would be saving any future spawn from the pain I felt growing up with a deformed back (kyphosis) and mental health issues but I really appreciate all of your advice

Honestly, you are really young and very new to motherhood. I would hold off and quadruple up on cyobraception instead. Copper coil, hormonal contraception e.g. Depo or pill, natural family planning and, condoms.

@EggsonHeads I already triple protect with tracking my cycle,pill and condoms I might end up a raging bag of hormones if I add something else 😂

At your age you will not get this on the NHS or indeed from any doctor with half a brain cell. Keep doing what you're doing and revisit the situation later. At this time it is a total no go area despite your convictions.

I'm 10 years older than you and asked to be sterilised at 25 (I don't have any kids and don't want them). The GP asked me to go back at 30 if I haven't changed my mind and he'll refer me so like pp have said, I doubt they'll entertain your request at this moment in time.

It sounds like you're really clued up though and doing everything right.

My NHS trust would not sterilise me at 38 with 4 kids because vasectomy is so much cheaper and an easier op to do. Why not try the mirena? Go see your GP and get it on record that you've asked but you really haven't got a hope of getting it approved.

Sweetheart, I’m 37 and Just having my first. You’re 18. I’ve travelled the world, been to university, done some exciting and amazing work, learned some amazing hobbies.

You’re 18 and you seem preoccupied with defining yourself by a very small part of life - reproduction.

Expand your horizons, focus on something else for a few years, get some qualifications and some skills and experiences, and use an IUD in the meantime to make sure you don’t get pregnant - no periods and you only need to change them every 5 years.

And when you’re 40, maybe home come back to focusing on sterilisation if you haven’t met a wonderful man on your travels or in an exciting job and decided you want a child together.

Why does society think it's okay for women, of any age, to produce a new human being whether intentionally or not?
But thinks it's not okay for women to decide against producing a human being?

One decision is as momentous as the other, but only one is encouraged.

Sorry, OP, sensible as you are being you've no hope of sterilisation on the NHS.

There is a 10 year coil you can get inserted can you ask about that. It can make your periods heavier but at least its a long term thing you can have done to see you through ti a time where NHS might be more likely to consider sterilisation x

There's the contraceptive implant too - 3 years, really effective, and you stop having periods.

I don't think anyone else can know your feelings and situation enough to tell you you'll change your mind - but the fact is, the NHS is hardly offering sterilisation to anyone these days.

My sister was adamant she never wanted children. She was sterilised In her 20s. She met someone in her 30s and changed her mind. She was lucky enough to have a son through IVF who she adores - but she unfortunately tried unsuccessfully with loads of ivf for a sibling but it didn’t happen.

You're not BU but I think it will be next to impossible to get it on the NHS. I'm 37, never wanted kids and they still won't let me. In fact they often remind me that my time to have kids is running out

You're 18, a woman, have the legal right to make your own decisions and have bodily autonomy. I just love all the 'sweetheart, you're too young and don't know your own mind' style comments - tremendously patronising.

Each NHS Trust will have its own priorities - all you will get here is anecdotal recounts of posters experiences within their own postcodes.

FWIW I once worked with a family who had a congenital disease, the parents just kept on churning out kid after kid knowing each child was going to have a life of pain, operations and hospital. Privately I thought they were selfish and thought they should have taken a responsible decision to not have any more children, especially knowing they were condemning them to a short life of pain.