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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU - Facebook selling etiquette

30 replies

Andromeida29 · 25/01/2018 10:32

Hello, hooe you can help as I'm utterly confused. I placed an item of furniture for sale on Facebook Marketplace that needed a quick sale due to us starting decorating.

One buyer messaged me saying she wanted it, I messaged back asking when she could pick it up. She didn't respond for two hours. During that time I had literally dozens of messages and I sold the item.

She messaged me two hours later saying she could pick up but I didn't see this message. She then privately messaged me this morning to ask about the item, I replied that I'd sold it. She then posts on a public forum about why I'd sold it and then messaged me privately. I explained that I'd had lots of requests and it seemed unfair to hold it as she hadn't confirmed that she wanted to buy it. She has sent me a few really arsey messages. Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
ShastaTrinity · 25/01/2018 10:35

there are so many time wasters on FB that people can't expect sellers to hold items.

If it's only 2 hours, you were a bit unreasonable. I understand how frustrating it is, but it's not a long time for someone not to check their phone or computer (work, children.)
Next time you should make your add clearer about item being sold to 1st person to arrange pickup or something like that

Original poster
Andromeida29 · 25/01/2018 10:38

Fair enough, @Shasta.

OP posts:
Oriunda · 25/01/2018 10:39

YABU. 2 hours isn’t giving a lot of time to reply, and when she did, you didn’t see the message. I’d have been annoyed if you’d done that to me.

On our local fb selling pages we have rules about how long you wait before moving on to the next person and it’s definitely more than 2 hours. Not everyone is able to respond immediately or see the message.

She’s probably being unreasonable to keep on at you - her best recourse would have been to let the page admin know who would have reiterated the rules to you for any future sales.

Louiselouie0890 · 25/01/2018 10:39

2 hours is mean. She did say she wanted.

Merryoldgoat · 25/01/2018 10:40

If someone messages and says they want it I tend to think it's reserved. I'd probably give them a few hours.

I actually bought something myself from FB the other day - I'm between me saying I wanted the item and arranging pick up, my son woke up and was really sick so I couldn't get back to the seller for a few hours.

Thankfully she kept it for me but I don't think 2 hours is unreasonable.

WeeM · 25/01/2018 10:42

I think 2 hours isn’t very long given other life commitments etc. I usually go to the next person and say that I’ve had someone want to buy it and they are next in line. Then I message the first person back and say I’ve had loads of other interest, can you please let me know by Xpm or I will move to the next person. That way they have a deadline.
Giving you lots of arsey messages is a bit much though!

Original poster
Andromeida29 · 25/01/2018 10:42

Thank you. I do appreciate your replies, I'm quite new to selling online but at least I know for the future.

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 25/01/2018 10:42

Normal rules don't seem to apply to fb, as pp said, so many time wasters. If you ask to buy something you should be ready to complete the transaction. YWNBU. Don't reply to her comments, just ignore her.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 25/01/2018 10:44

The item is gone, so she should get over it.
You wanted it gone ASAP, ok you didn't quite follow "the rules" but you didn't know them, made a rookie mistake, and you can't go back in time.
What does she honestly expect you to do, go run off and take it back from whomever you did sell it to, and sell to her instead?

As the saying goes, no use crying over spilt milk.

Original poster
Andromeida29 · 25/01/2018 10:50

If she had confirmed that she wanted to pick it up at any point I would have reserved it for her but the message went along the lines of "is the item available?", "yes it is, when can you pick up?" Then nothing but silence. To me that doesn't really indicate interest.

OP posts:
rachrach2 · 25/01/2018 10:51

I don't think you did anything wrong - it's just the way it goes on Facebook, you have to be quick! I commented on something I wanted once (within seconds). She's also posted elsewhere and they commented after me but she hadn't noticed my comment. When she realised she apologised and I was disappointed but not remotely annoyed, it's just one of those things.

I sell a lot and I can normally tell who is serious and don't generally hold items unless I get a good vibe (which includes being responsive - fb isn't the place to buy and sell unless you are able to be).

Original poster
Andromeida29 · 25/01/2018 10:58

If she had messaged me saying that she wanted it but was too busy with kids etc I would have held it. I've also checked the local sites where I posted it and there is nothing about holding items for a couple of hours when selling so what should I be sticking to?

OP posts:
ZoopDragon · 25/01/2018 11:03

You weren't being U. But next time put something in the description like 'quick sale preferred, I will prioritise people who can collect today'.

People get very get up over selling sites.

I get really annoyed when I buy something that needs posting and it takes over a week to arrive! If you can't post within 24 hours you should let the buyer know! Angry

KeepServingTheDrinks · 25/01/2018 11:10

I'd apologise to her and say you didn't realize and needed a quick sale and then move on with your life.

Next time if you need an item gone quickly, I'd emphasise that in your advert (although you might then get a load of CFs who offer you £££ less than you want because they think they'll get away with it).

ThisLittleKitty · 25/01/2018 11:13

Ignore the first posters!!tbis is totally fine and people do it all the time on facebook!! Just next time put "no holding" on the listing to avoid this type of situation and actually yes I do think 2 hours is a long time to wait for a person to get back if you are getting loads of people messaging for the item who can collect instantly.

ToastyFingers · 25/01/2018 11:15

Two hours isn't very long at all, I'd be annoyed if I was the potential buyer.

It's good form in this case to reply something like
'thanks for the offer, I'm waiting on someone else to give me a collection time, but if I don't hear back by lunchtime(or whenever) I'll message you.

19lottie82 · 25/01/2018 11:32

YANBU. I don’t reserve something until someone has made a firm arrangement to collect it.

50% of the time of someone asks if it’s still available they don’t even get back to me.

Travis1 · 25/01/2018 12:15

YWNBU, there are so many time wasters on facebook I'd have done the same.

ShastaTrinity · 25/01/2018 12:23

After seeing your update OP, "is the item available?" is not reserving an item, so she is was wrong.

Otherwise, someone telling you they are buying something, and taking 2 hours to arrange pick up details are of course reasonable!

Twickerhun · 25/01/2018 12:27

Her reaction to this situation is a major over reaction. It’s a Facebook selling page, no need to react like that. I think you did ok.

ShiftyMcGifty · 25/01/2018 12:30

“Is this item still available” is hardly a potential buyer or commitment to purchase.

melj1213 · 25/01/2018 13:05

I think in this circumstance YABU as you haven't said that you put a deadline or any info regarding "first to collect gets it" and it's not her fault that you missed her message ... also you didn't get back to her so understandably she was pissed off as she had messaged two hours later, which is not a huge amount of time if you don't put a deadline, and thought you still had the item. As far as they were aware you were the one who hadn't responded to their message re:collection nor had you informed them that you had sold it in the interim when they believed they had "first dibs". Even just going to send a quick "Sorry, someone has collected this item" would have meant you would have seen her late message and you could have managed the situation and allowed you to update her with something like "Sorry, I missed this message and since I needed a quick sale I offered it to someone else who has been and collected the item. Sorry for the inconvenience" .

In future you need to be clear in your post that you want a quick sale, will not hold the item and it will be sold on the basis that the first person who can collect it can have it - but you should make sure anyone who is enquiring is made aware that other people are interested and you will be giving it to the first person who shows up, and once it has been collected message the other people to let them know that it is now gone so they don't waste their time. Alternatively the first person who shows interest gets priority but they get a deadline ... so after their first "Is this available?" message, I follow up with "Yes, but I do have other people interested. If you can collect it before X time it is yours. Let me know by Y time if you can collect, if I don't hear from you by then I will move to the next person and let them know it is available as I need it gone."

ToucanPlayAtThatGame · 25/01/2018 13:14

Yanbu, 2 hours is a lot of time if you have a lot of other people messaging you who want the item, it's not just a case of first come first served, it's who can organise collection etc and "close the deal" so to speak.

Allthebestnamesareused · 25/01/2018 13:22

Is it available is not a YES please!

You were reasonable.

Louiselouie0890 · 25/01/2018 15:35

Your OP said she said she wanted it but then your update says she asked if it was available. If it was the second then yanbu the first yabu.