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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be embarrassed to invite bf round?

47 replies

MotherChuffingGirlPower · 25/01/2018 09:03

I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months and we are running out of ideas for dates this time of year.. We are due to see each other again over next few days and I feel it's time to ask him to mine for a take away and/or film. However I hate my house at moment. I've got a really noisy neighbour on one side (not unreasonale, just thin walls) and due to funds I'm still in the process of sorting out furniture - at the moment i have no dining table, nor even a coffee table, and my TV is a tiny little thing leftover from a bedroom... I sound really materialistic but I'm generally the opposite, I just feel he's going to think I'm some kind of pauper... (I'm getting new furniture and TV over the next few weeks) Shall I just invite him to mine on the next date and to hell with the lack of furniture and neighbour, or try and think of something else we can do out?

OP posts:
NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 25/01/2018 10:32

By all means mention it or make a joke out of it, but please don't let it stop you inviting him over. If he's worth keeping he won't care.

stickytoffeevodka · 25/01/2018 10:32

When I first went to DP's house, he had no carpets downstairs (just concrete floors), no dining table, an old sofa, no coffee table and that was it in the living room.

I went to spend time with HIM, I wasn't bothered about his house. In fact, I think having a few items that you own OUTRIGHT is actually better than having a load of stuff on credit. We now live together and everything in this house is ours. We don't owe anyone money - yes, some of it's second and and yes, some of it isn't the best quality, but we bought it and it's ours.

If he's a decent guy, he won't give a monkeys about your furniture or the size of your TV. Honest.

Spacesuitmakeover · 25/01/2018 10:45

Ask him if he is any good at flatpack?

Wetwashing00 · 25/01/2018 10:50

I would invite him round regardless, if he thinks less of you because of that he’s not worth investing time in.

This has just reminded me of the first time I went over to a boyf house when I was 18.
He lived in a 3 bed house with 2 other guys....🤢
Every single plate/cup/glass was filthy and piled up in the sink, beer cans everywhere, including in the bath. And no loo roll 😩
We stayed at mine mostly

slothface · 25/01/2018 10:52

What on earth is wrong with a clothes dryer in the living room? What if you don't have a spare room or anywhere else to put it? Mine is currently in my bedroom! It hasn't stopped me having guests over...

Agree that if he judged your house he wouldn't be worth another date. Am I the only one who genuinely doesn't even think about the state of my flat if people (friends or love interests) come over? I've had people round when it's been in various states of disarray including leftover washing up to be done and general stuff lying about. No one has ever judged or said anything and I really wouldn't give two hoots about someone else's house, especially the size of the TV! I've never owned a TV at all and I'm doing ok.

BulletFox · 25/01/2018 11:01

sloth we're twins, my dryer is currently in my bedroom and I don't want a TV Grin

MrsMotherHen · 25/01/2018 11:08

Use it to your advantage. Get a blanket put it out on the floor like a picnic infront of the telly shit loads of cushions. Light some candles around the place. Order a takeaway and have a cosy floor picnic.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 25/01/2018 11:12

What on earth is wrong with a clothes dryer in the living room?

Really?!?

Couldn't think of anything worse! Unless you really have nowhere else for it obv.

mydogisabeauty · 25/01/2018 11:18

Why don't you go to his house first and unless he lives in a palace you'll feel the pressures off.

Valerrie · 25/01/2018 11:18

My clothes horse is in my living room. I don't have a spare room, clothes wouldn't dry in my bathroom and the radiators in the bedroom aren't accessible.

I tumble dry underwear so it's just clothes. Who the hell cares?

If you can't think of anything worse, you really need to get out more.

stickytoffeevodka · 25/01/2018 11:19

What on earth is wrong with a clothes dryer in the living room?

Really? You'd invite a date over and have a cosy romantic night in while your underwear is drying in the corner of the room?!

Put it in the bedroom while you have guests over.

Rockinglobstering · 25/01/2018 12:13

Grin at all the people in shock at the clothes horse being in the living room.
My bathroom is far too tiny to put anything in there at all, kitchen- also not very big- it'd take up all the floor space!
As for undies they either go on the bottom rack (obscured by other clothes hanging) or on a radiator in the bedroom!

Rockinglobstering · 25/01/2018 12:17

@stickytoffeevodka
Yes, yes I would, and have done.
In my previous house there was literally no other room to put it in, no radiators. It was and always is in a discreet corner of the room though.
If someone I'm dating has an issue with me needing to wash and dry my clothes then they know where the door is....
There are far bigger issues in the world than my pants needing to be dried :p

ThisIsTheVoice · 25/01/2018 12:24

I dated someone briefly who told me that his mattress and sofa were of the blow-up variety, as he hadn't bothered buying real furniture since moving in three years before. He didn't invite me round at all....and we stopped seeing each other for other reasons, so I don't know if he ever did replace them for "real" stuff...

why12345 · 25/01/2018 12:27

What's wrong with having a clothes dryer on show?!?! ConfusedConfusedmine is never away atm!

Rockinglobstering · 25/01/2018 12:29

@ThisIsTheVoice
Blow up sofa is impressive- how long did that last I wonder?!
Having spent nearly 3 years on an airbed I can say it's not nice and he'd have been daft not to get a proper bed- mine was not out of choice but due to space- or lack of!

Blackteadrinker77 · 25/01/2018 12:42

If he judges you on your neighbours and the size of your TV he is not a keeper.

Original poster
MotherChuffingGirlPower · 25/01/2018 13:03

The neighbours worry me more than the furniture issue tbh blacktea as I know I can easily fix the furniture issue!

OP posts:
slothface · 25/01/2018 16:10

@stickytoffeevodka yes, that's exactly what I would do, and have done. Sometimes it's not even my clothes, it's my flatmate's! Shock horror. Who cares about seeing underwear drying? It's hardly a secret that people wear underwear

MiniTheMinx · 25/01/2018 16:55

Oh, and the ironing board, or a pile of ironing, hide that too Grin

I have seen people put their clothes to dry in their sitting room, most odd, it would never occur to me, it just seems odd. But then we have a big kitchen, and a separate sitting room which is always tidy and rarely in use.

poisoningpidgeysinthepark · 25/01/2018 17:16

If I had judged my (now) DH on the state of his house the first time he invited me in, I wouldn't just have run a mile but all the way across the country and back. It was bloody awful. But love is blind. If it's meant to be, you could live in a leaky shed surrounded by rioting elephants and he wouldn't bat an eyelid.

icelollycraving · 25/01/2018 17:33

Have you been to his home?
Do you think we actually would judge you?

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