to feel like im drowning. Overdramatic?

[OnNaturesCourse]

I have a 3 month old DD.

I'm moving home to a completely different area.

I'm still suffering "down there" from a forceps birth

DD is going through a very clingy, crying phase and we think she's suffering with constipation (again)

Our new home is getting a complete make over - every room has been stripped back to plaster.

We're about 40% the way through doing the new house, but are due to move in under week and due to move some of our bigger items this weekend.

DP works all day so I'm on my own mostly - and he seems to think this gets him out of all night feeds aside from one night at weekend (and even that's with a fuss)

DP isn't home until very late as he's working on the new place after work.

I can barely walk as I've been on my feet and over stretched so much that I'm very swollen "down there" again and my scar is all raised.

I'm trying to pack up our home, look after DD, sort myself, decorate occasionally, organise the move and make required purchases etc, and i kinda feel like I'm suffocating a little bit and I'm snapping at everyone, getting frustrated with DD and I'm on the brink of exploding at DP.

I needed this rant, I needed it off my chest but more to that, before I sit DP down to talk, ask if I'm being over dramatic and need to shake myself?

How can I get DP to understand without having a "it's all your fault, your not helping enough" argument? (Hes normally brilliant but seems to have his mind totally focused on work and moving that he's suddenly not as "on the ball" at home...like the other night I got in to find he still had DD up and awake at midnight - so she was out her routine all night and I had to deal with it. He said she "was being too fussy to sleep" but I had her asleep in under 5 minutes. He's starting to lose track of her routines and habits if that makes sense)

😭

I think that proves what your body needs. Now you just need to work out a way to get that rest regularly. How did he feel about it? Do you think you could do it a couple of times a week?

No. He was crabbit and tired the day... Don't think I could deal with that lol.

Well, now he knows how you feel!

Can't he see that you've been doing that for weeks and weeks, whereas he's only done it for one night? It shouldn't take a great deal of empathy for him to understand you need some help.

Get a packing service!!!!

His point is that he's tired and crabbit at work whereas I'm at home/don't need to go out if I'm tired. Typical.

I did send him home with DD tonight while I worked on the new house, and again he survived. Think I just need to be more persistent.

It is unreasonable for your husband for you to expect you to take care of a tiny baby as well as move house, and its obviously affecting your health. I would present it as 3 options.

1. You hire a packing service (get a couple of quotes)

1. You hire a childminder to look after the baby whilst you pack (though I expect a packing service is more efficient cost wise)

1. DH takes on a lot more than he is right now on his evenings and weekends. Yes he is working but presumably he agreed to this move / redecorating project knowing you'd have a small baby so he needs to pull his weight. Doing a couple of hours packing every night is not going to break him, only for a couple of weeks. I suspect he could get most of it done this weekend?

Be specific about what bits you can't manage as men tend to prefer problem solving to dealing with emotional problems.

Well, he could do Fri and Sat nights - he'll be at home the next day/won't need to go out if he's tired ;)

And maybe switch evening 'jobs' once or twice in the week where he looks after baby and you go and work on the house for a bit of a break.

Problem I encounter is he works 6 days a week, has set holidays at his work which can't be changed and works until after 6pm - so he does a few hours at the new house and then by the time he travels to our current house it's too late to do much.

Packing companies are too expensive. Childminder, DD is too young. (IMO)

Luckily managed to rope in help from family for the next few days plus DD seems to be doing better in herself.

Got it in my head that I just want to get my head down, crack on and get moved. Hoping to get our stuff moved over the next few days so I can clean our current place without falling over stuff.

I'm so bloody tired again. Whole new meaning to exhausted.

Thanks for the support ladies, it's shown me that I'm not being over dramatic so helped me open up when asking and accepting help with both DD and the move.

The problem is that you're both working very hard.

Instead of doing his few hours on the new house, couldn't he come home to look after baby, and you do the hours on the new house instead? (Sorry if I'm repeating myself, I'm sure I've asked that before.)

You could do with more of a mothers helper while you try you pack. Someone who is with you, rocking the baby, changing the nappies, making cups of tea and taking the baby out for a walk in the pram etc so you can have a nap Teens are pretty good at this if given clear directions, do you know any?

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I also had a poorly healing episiotomy. I had a couple of sessions with a women’s health Physio around 3 months post partum which really helped. She suggested getting a GP to prescribe an oestrogen cream to promote healing of the area and also some exercises to desensitise the area.