Fighting at school

[tellitermine]

This afternoon my DH calls me from France to say that he's just had a call from DS's school. It seems that DS has had a fight at school, apparently it started off as a play fight and escalated, both he and the other boys have been spoken to and apparently were very "mature and apologetic" about the whole situation, the school say it has been dealt with, that DS is very upset and that both boys have an inclusion (isolation) all day tomorrow.
DH seems to think that these things happen with boys, I on the other hand am absolutely fuming, in a total rage! This is the second time this has happened and in my opinion it needs to be dealt with before someone gets seriously hurt. My mother is a lawyer and has represented many teenagers on account of GBH and even manslaughter after fights like his have got out of hand, am I wrong in thinking this could be a slippery slope?
How should I deal with this? DS gets the school bus and is due home on is twenty minutes, do I really need to calm down or am I well within my right to shout, take away his phone and other privileges?

School have already punished though?

I would sit and talk to him about it and get to the bottom of what happened and then leave it at that.

Yes they have, but they say they dealt with it last time and it's happened again

How old is he? Old enough to have learnt a lesson from last time perhaps.

He's thirteen

How old is he?

I must say my view on boys fighting at school is very different dh. I’d be the uber pacifist but dh says if you don’t fight back you become the victim. And he was that victim.

Tough one.

In that case you need to make him understand it has to stop. Next time he may find the consequences harsher and risk his education or injury.

Don’t give him too much a hard time of he dealt with it maturely and apologises.

Maybe show him a few news articles of people who have died after a single punch. Explains the dangers in play fighting and how easily it can lead to this.

When did the first fight happen? If it was years ago then I'd say leave it. If it was last week or month then clearly he hasn't learned from last time and I'd say phone/console removal

But boys love to play fight....or at least my boys did.
Would he enjoy taking martial arts?
I’d stay out of it.

I wouldn't be punishing at home and at school. But I would want to get to the bottom of it swiftly with my child and support the schools decision if there is nothing deeper going on.
You are right to be alll over it, they are getting too old for proper fights and it could end very badly.

I'd get your mum to talk to him about how easily something can escalate & give him some idea of the life changing consequences she has seen boys just like him face. But I wouldn't punish further at home if school have him in isolation tomorrow.