To think the school has a point about packed lunches

[Rebeccaslicker]

I'm not sure about banning parents from the premises, but is it a bad thing to say no chocolate, sugary drinks etc in a primary school lunch?? (My DD is only 2, so I haven't had the lunchbox decisions yet, v interested in people's views!)

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/now-mum-48-banned-school-1108690.amp

Meh......I can't get in a flap about it really.

How about placing more importance on PE rather than the children
learning that it's OK to be taken out of PE for 10 mins for that all-important reading, but not OK to take them out of English or Maths?

Likewise with music - it's always OK to cut that in favour of something more 'academic'.

It's double standards.

Today my (very, very active son) has a ham sandwich, bag of crisps, carrot batons, grapes and two little shortbread squares.

As I said Rebecca, we live in London. The water's disgusting. It doesn't "taste of nothing", it tastes dirty. I started giving DS2 juice precisely because he was hardly drinking anything, hardly weeing, and permanently constipated. Now the juice is an incentive for if he finishes his water, which he hasn't done since the start of term.

perfectly, so did we until v recently - so we bought a filter and lots of Evian, being low in sodium, and we drank that instead!

Our school focusses hugely on activity too. We have a dedicated PE teacher too and they do a few hours a week PE as well as having coaches in to encourage games (dodge ball, football, table tennis) every day and loads of free after school sports clubs.

I guess we're lucky.

For those asking...
Water tastes like...water! It's just not nice.
Also, when I drink water, it quenches my immediate thirst, but soon after I feel thirstier than i did before. I know I am rehydrated, but it doesn't feel that way. A little bit of squash or juice and my thirst feels quenched.

My kids drink milk when they were born, breast milk mainly, we moved on to cows milk and occasional formula. It is a lot sweeter than water.
At 6 months i introduced a little bit of water with their meals.
DS1 has never liked or drunk it. By the age of 2 or 3, he had discovered other drinks exist. In year 5 and 6, used to be sent home from school with headaches. A large drink of something and his headache would disappear.
DS2 drinks water, doesn't really like squash. Still prefers milk.
DS3 didnt really drink at all, with resultant constipation, pant messing, and bed wetting. He discovered Apple juice age 3 and 6 years later I think we might be there. He will now drink water.
DD loves water.
We still buy an obscene amount of milk!

The poor little mites won't dehydrate just because they got a bottle of water.

You've not read these threads before have you? They don't dehydrate because they end up in hospital on drips. (Next time, their parents give them something they will drink)

I agree totally with PE (schools selling their grounds doesn't help) - but as a child who was shit at most forms of it, I do feel sorry for kids who are just naturally not athletic! It's great to do more PE if you're good at it. It's nightmare time if you're the kid who sucks at gymnastics/athletics. Character building maybe?!

I was as idealistic as you when I had dd op. And I really don’t mean that nastily.
She only had water and milk ate everything put in front of her had a great routine of her own doing and slept like a log. I patted myself on the back at what a great job I was doing to make all this happen. Then I had ds2 I quickly realised that a lot of it was sheer luck in dd’s personality rather than what a fantastic job I had done. He hated water he’d never been offered anything other than water and breast milk during weaning. He never drank water and when he stopped breastfeeding he wouldn’t drink milk either so squash it was or he would literally drink nothing. He’s nearly 13 now and will drink water if he has tobecauae he is thirsty and during the school day there is no other option apart from at lunch but that too years of him coming out of school grumpy and tired with headaches because even I. The height of summer he wouldn’t drink.
He is also the fussiest eater you have ever met hey say children won’t starve themselves I don’t actually want to find out how long ds1 would go without food but I will say he will go hungry rather than eat something he doesn’t like.

Sometimes you have a child with a personality that just means you give them what they will eat and drink so they are eating something. Dd never ever became picky ds1 was picky even at weaning ds2 is probably in the middle of the two and probably in the more normal middle of the scale but I can say from experience it’s very easy to say but why not just do this when you only have one or don’t have any experience of a child with a will of iron that you’ll do anything just to get them to eat or drink something.

DD used to be very picky when she was little. We sent her to a creche with a very strict policy on food. The daily menu was published and it contained really well thought out meals, with plenty of nutritious things.
Surprise surprise - DD ate most of it. The reason for that being was that the teachers took no shit. It was eat or stay hungry. Eat the main course and you'll get a dessert (a yogurt) or nothing. The kids were really active and so they went hungry really fast.
DD would eat stuff at the creche she normally wouldn't touch and even started those things in "normal life'. We all supported the teachers and they never had any grief. As I mentioned about my DD's primary school, there was no known case of a child dying of starvation or dehydration.
And they drank water only, no squash or whatever crap.

Rebecca DD's that rare creature who's shit at PE but enjoys it. She applied for dodgeball club this term but didn't get in.

Sometimes you have a child with a personality that just means you give them what they will eat and drink so they are eating something.

I totally agree with this, and it usually becomes apparent amongst 2/3/4 siblings parented in exactly the same way, and only one becomes a very picky eater/drinker - its the kids stubborn individual personality that you have to worth with and not against. I'd rather squash be available to them if that all they will drink plenty of.

They don’t police lunch boxes at dds school at all. As a result, a kid (according to dd) eats lunches consisting of things like a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar and a cake. Another apparently brings a chocolate spread sandwich, a chocolate bar and crisps. The mum of the first child has told me doesn’t encourage/make her children eat vegetables at all and none of them do. She’s a really lovely person and too nice for her own good rather than being purposely neglectful of what her children are eating. As far as I’m aware neither child has additional needs and they don’t have special dispensation because other children bring chocolate.

Yes, schools do have a point. It annoys me dds School is in a predominantly middle class area and it’s assumed parents will feed their children healthily when it is not the case. It makes it harder for children, whose parents, like me, don’t allow them to eat chocolate bars every day.

And there's goes my point. Cheese strings are not unhealthy (not any more so than normal cheese) Dd (who is a vocational dancer) eats them as a healthy high protein dairy based snack.

Dairylea Dunkers are not quite as good they are higher in salt ( the ritz ones especially) but there are worse things a child can eat.

The thing parents don't see about school lunches is that the children have free choice so I often see children with a bread roll, (healthy) burger in a bun, potato wedges and a tiny amount of salad which they will leave. Then a piece of (healthy) sponge and a piece of fruit that again, they will leave. Not exactly balanced.

Usually massively carb heavy like the above...and I don't avoid carbs, I just think that there are other food groups.

Sadly i can be in as many conversations as i want with the school MrsH, but it doesn't mean they acknowledge what i say. My DS1 has no dx of any SN as far as they are concerned and they/we are not anticipating him to get one.

Mummy - ds1 gets sent to school with a greggs sausage roll/breadsticks/cheese straws/hot dog sandwich and a packet of hula hoops and a chocolate cake/oat bar. I'm sure the other children and parents think i am a bad mother but i cannot do anything else for him. I also don't 'make' him eat vegetables because i cannot. I have been told not to make an issue of it. I'm not sure there are many people who don't care what their children eat. I cry and can't sleep for worrying about him. I find hard to imagine all people don't love their dc as i do mine.

SusannahL that sounds like a response from someone who only has a small baby. My kids were given only the healthiest foods and drinks as babies and toddlers. It doesn't stop them becoming fussy when they are older. Mine are incredulous when I tell them they loved avocado as babies, hell would freeze over before they would touch it now,!

I really don't have time for the "well just make them eat it and don't give them anything else" brigade. I never really did, but since ds2 was referred to a psychologist for support with his eating issues (for a time he only ate smooth yoghurts, cheddar cheese, cucumber, bread, oranges, apples, bananas and jaffa cakes, and I do mean only those foods) I can totally dismiss them. The psychologist was very clear that adding stress only makes these issues worse and taking a very hard line, "you will eat this quinoa or you will go hungry" approach was unkind and unhelpful.

Will he eat chocolate cereal Mrs koala. Weetabix do a protein crunch that look & taste like Weetos but are lower sugar & contain 6g protein per 30g?

No, Alexander he eats only dry bread, sausage roll, hot dog sandwiches, cheese on toast, breadsticks, cheese straws, certain chocolate cakes/biscuits, Organix oat bars and hula hoops. That's it. My heart breaks daily when he complains of stomach pains and a bleeding bum. I'm sure i'm talked about as the shittest mum at the school. As I said there is no SN diagnosis so according to everyone he is 'just fussy' and I have failed him. I am no different to the parents who 'don't care'.

sinceyouask

I am from the brigade of: Don't force them but they won't get anything else till the next course.
Me and DH are comfortable sticking to the rule and I can't see my DD falling over with hunger. Children nowadays are way too way fed to be malnourished.
I wouldn't force her to eat stuff she really doesn't like and enjoy but hell will freeze over before I let her drink squash only and eat crap like biscuits or crackers "just to get something into her".
She had toasted wholewheat bread with fried egg yesterday but she also got tomatoes which she doesn't love but doesn't hate either. She ate them because she knows she has no other choice.
We are not making an issue when she doesn't want to eat everything we do but sorry, there is a difference between being picky and simply being allowed to eat shit because they know they will get away with that.
I have never seen children eating so much crap anywhere else as I can see it on the British Isles and that's in countries which are not known for poverty and starvation. They just don't get that choice and are not allowed to go to extremes when it comes to food.

but hell will freeze over before I let her drink squash only and eat crap like biscuits or crackers "just to get something into her".

She ate them because she knows she has no other choice.

We are not making an issue when she doesn't want to eat everything we do but sorry, there is a difference between being picky and simply being allowed to eat shit because they know they will get away with that.

They just don't get that choice and are not allowed to go to extremes when it comes to food.

You have no idea, but do feel free to come back to me when you have parented a child that "but you have no choice!" doesn't work with.

Some schools need to rethink their menus. My DD’s school does have small puddings each day but main meals are all healthy. There are no chips, pizzas, burgers, nuggets, hot dogs, nothing fried.

If it was all pizza, nuggets and chips then I would send her in with a packed lunch. I’ve got no issue with pizza, chips and nuggets etc, but not every meal.

And 4 days with no food later. What do you do then? When the nutritionist and paediatricians tell you this approach is wrong - do you still persevere because you know better?

MrsKoala
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean my post to come across as judgy for parents like you. My dd is also a fussy eater but not like your ds. My point was the amount of junk food/chocolate the children are being given and no protein. I realise you can’t be a mind reader and I didn’t explain properly. I fully appreciate many children won’t eat fruit or vegetables, my dd didn’t eat veg for years but this mother is not even trying. And it is with 3 children. You are giving your ds protein and organix bars so already your ds’s diet is already a lot better than these kids. I’ve just put a post on the fussy eater thread about my experiences with dd and I’d really hate you to feel judged by my post above.

sinceyouask

Unless the child has special needs, there's no excuse. I fully and totally acknowledge that there are children with sensory issues who aren't picky due to permissive upbringing but due to the way their brain processes everything around them and would be completely willing to go without food.
But a child with no sensory issues showing extreme pickiness is simply a result of permissive upbringing and not enough choice in food offerings.
I have a child who could win a medal if Olympics had stubbornness as a discipline. She was once told that if she doesn't eat greens, she won't get any sweets for a week. She went three weeks without greens - and without sweets. During that time, however, she added other food items into her menu, previously untested because we decided to work on her diet in earnest. She started eating cucumber and now she eats salad and pesto (made from fresh basil, not the shitty shop-bought one) as well - and she is still a picky eater but we have a rule of trying once, then saying no.
So I know what it means to have a picky eater. But I also know that it's not that clear cut as it's described.

@isittheholidaysyet

Water tastes like water. Which is generally nice and cold and wet and of nothing much else.

Where are you drinking water from? A puddle?

I find it a bit bizarre that a grown adult could have an aversion to it. Like come on! It's just daft. Especially to unknowingly encourage your kids to feel the same about it.

Buy them a bottle of Volvic if your tap water is so shit.