I'll try and keep this short. My mum and MIL do not speak. MIL wasn't exactly supportive of my relationship with my husband because he was her only son and I wasn't seen as good enough for him. We've now been married for 5 years and we have a 2 yo son. Things have gradually got better between MIL and me and we're close now.
My mum is recognising this and is acting really jealous and angry. Bearing in mind that my parents really have had the lions share of grandparenting of him.
To get to the point, I've just found out I'm pregnant again. I'm going for an early reassurance scan in a couple of weeks and my PIL are off that week so have offered to look after my son. My mum has twisted everything up in her mind as some sort of conspiracy theory to leave them out of things. She keeps telling me to "be careful" and "MIL is just trying to get her foot in the door". In reality it's just the easiest, most convenient childcare option for us. I have to lie about my son doing things with my PIL because otherwise she goes off on these paranoid rants and distances herself from me for a while. If I don't go round at least twice a week (she lives in the same town), she calls us "stranger".
I really don't need this stress and I love my mum so much. Her and my dad have a lovely bond with my son and he loves his time with them but I can't live like this anymore. I feel watched and judged with everything I do. I showed her a picture on my phone and she scrolled through and saw pics of my son with MIL, dropped the phone like it was covered in dog shit and went weird and quiet for the rest of the day. She wants my MIL to not visit us in hospital when this baby is born and it's driving me nuts. My dad doesn't rein her in or speak to her about it. He's had to live with it for 30 years and doesn't want to incur her wrath either.
Any advice/stories welcome