My Dad and Mum split up when I was two and my mum was pregnant with my younger sister. I don’t know much about the split but according to my mum he was flirting and partying with work colleagues, and left her for another woman. He then threatened to report my mum to social services, and take me and my sister away from her as she was a “bad mother”. (She was not). He sounded quite emotional abusive.
I remember a few occasions of my dad taking me and my sister for the day but we never saw him regularly and we did as older kids participate in his wedding to another third woman who I believe he is still married to.
My mum remarried, and my step dad would assist with the 1 or 2 requests that my dad wanted to see us. We moved interstate and only saw him once in high school when he remarried. I remember a telephone call once which was awkward as I had never talked to him on the phone. He had all our details.
Anyway no contact from my dad since his marrieage when I was in high school. My child support (which my mum put straight into my bank account) of $20 per fortnight (!) stopped exactly on the 18th Birthday. I’m now 39.
About five years ago his step daughter messaged on Facebook to say “your dad thinks of you all the time”. I didn’t reply as thought he should message me himself then!
I often think that since I turned 18 as an adult I should initiate contact and I do check on the internet what he has been up to. (His work profile raves about loving spending time “with his grandkids” and how family oriented he is which upsets me). I know his mobile number as it is on his work website and he works from home. But I never contact him. I feel guilty about this but on the other hand as a parent I would NEVER abandon my child like he did.
AIBU not contacting him?