To feel stupid and depressed after college

[isthismummy]

I decided that 2018 is the year I'm going to do some of the things I've always said I'd like to do, but haven't. I'm sick of always finding excuses for everything.

I love Greece and I've always wanted to learn a bit of the language. I signed up for a Greek for beginners course that started tonight. I was really looking forward to it, but I just ended up feeling really embarrassed. My knowledge of Greek stretches about as far as saying hello. However nearly everyone on the course knew the entire alphabet, loads of phrases and were basically far more knowledgeable than me. I had to admit several times that I couldn't follow stuff and I was SO humiliated. My face was actually burning with shame. It probably sounds trivial but I felt like I was 12 again, and back in the classroom not understanding the teacher.

I was really excited as I haven't done a college course since 2013. AIBU to not want to go back? I feel the college has misled me as the course was described as suitable for people with no knowledge of Greek. Yet the tutor just seemed to assume we knew loads.

Perhaps I'm just thick?

The people who knew everything I guess were the ones who spoke up.
Were there others who didn't speak?

Nearly everyone spoke up. The people who claimed not to get it at first seemed to grasp it much faster than I did.

I'm at home now looking at YouTube tutorials and I'm still really baffled

You’re not thick - you are just a beginner. The others had either prepared more or were not true beginners but felt insecure about going into a higher class or are not in fact ready. I did an evening class in a craft where I was pretty much a beginner and lots were quite experienced. They were all quite helpful and supportive to me but I think it might be a different feeling in a craft as more interaction.

The tutor was probably responding to the general level (but should have fully supported you as a beginner). I think you should give it another go as you are not stupid and the tutor could and should adjust their teaching now they know the different levels and personalities.

FWIW, I am proficient in Ancient Greek but have always found modern Greek really really hard! So I think it’s normal not to go in an expert.

Yes are you sure it was only you who was a total beginner? I'd have a word with the college to double check you're in the correct class.

In fact you could almost say it's all Greek to me...

:)

It was definitely the right class. Greek beginners level 1. In fact I'm just looking at the course discription now and we appeared to have covered most of the syllabus in the first class!

I know it's trivial in the scheme of things. I have such low confidence in my abilities as it is, and this has just dredged up every negative thought I have

Is the teacher a native speaker?

Yes Scipio She was very Greek. I think that made it worse tbh. She just expected you to be able to follow her.

I would say if you continue you need to cultivate a ‘shamelessly ignorant’ persona - just admit to what you don’t know loudly and be quite blasé about it. You are in the right class - it’s not your fault if the others aren’t beginners! I used to use this persona at uni when I was in classes with men who professed to know everything - you can’t beat them or join them so it’s best to wrong foot them by just being completely honest. It doesn’t mean you are stupid.

Have you heard of an app called Duolingo? I used it to learn German, there was lots of other languages on there too and it was free to download. I found it really helpful.

I’m not surprised she’s Greek. I’m a languages teacher. Often native speakers are hired more because they are speakers than because they are able to teach, unfortunately, and yes, a less skilled teacher would be less good at making sure you were all following (and wouldn’t necessarily get what’s hard about the language.

I like your tactics Scipio God save us from the men who think they know everything. There's only two in my class and they both suffer that problem.

I just downloaded Duolingo tonight Charlie Hoping it will help me. Our tutor expects us to know the entire Greek alphabet and be able to read it by next week though. In fact she was getting us to read out and translate words tonight. I was just sitting there thinking "these are incomprehensible scribbles to me"

Can you get your money back if you don’t go back? I admire your resolution to do something new/long out off etc. and I do think it can take a while to find friendly people on a course so worth persevering if you can. But equally it sounds like there are some less than ideal elements of it which might not improve (tutor not noticing or getting to grips with all levels). I have to admit I didn’t last long on the only modern Greek course I’ve done - it was free as part of our uni course but I only did a few weeks before giving up. I learnt more on holiday!

I might try really hard to learn the alphabet this week and give it another go next Tuesday. I might have to give up all my spare time to do it though. I'm also pregnant, so not sure if I have the energy or indeed the rationality with my raging hormones.

Scipio That's interesting that you find modern Greek really hard. I never had a talent for languages to start with. I'm clearly a sucker for punishment. To be fair to the tutor I think she was pitching stuff to the level the class is generally at. I'm just not at that level!

As for the alphabet, I’d suggest copying it out and chanting it the same way we learn our own alphabet when we are little. It works better IMO to learn it by rote than to just try and match up the letters out of nowhere.

But keep using a cheat sheet beside you if you have to - the tutor will have to deal! It’s a lot to do in one week when it’s not your job!

Then I’d suggest looking at English words which one from Greek and transiterating those to practise matching up Greek and English letters (eg drama, psychology, logical).

Once you are familiar with the alphabet the rest of the language comes quickly - well it does in Ancient Greek as I know from learning and teaching. The kids who don’t learn the alphabet find everything is taking ages for weeks or months. So I bet a lot of the other students’ quickness in your case was purely that they’ve got the alphabet down.

Which come from Greek

Oh and don’t be disheartened that I find modern Greek hard - I meant it to just reassure you that you’re not alone. In my case one of the reasons I find it hard is that the alphabet’s the same but pronunciation v different and the vocab and grammar has changed in form too.

Anyway, sorry to take over the thread - hope it proves rewarding for you and many congrats on your pregnancy.

Thank you Scipio some very helpful tips there. I really appreciate it🙂 Hopefully if I keep at it it will start to make sense. Either that or I'll run out of the class screaming next week.

It says for refunds it's a minimum of seven days before the course starts. Perhaps to combat all the genuine Greek beginners wanting their money back

Sounds like you've been very unlucky in joining a class where most people aren't true beginners. I really would try and not let it get to you - if the teacher is any good she will understand that everyone will have a slightly different level of experience with languages in general and Greek specifically. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the 'beginners' are old hands at language learning and used to learning the basics.

A few years ago I did a beginners mandarin class - the idea was that you could learn optionally some characters too, but the focus was basic conversation. Well, I ended up in a group with people who were either Cantonese native speakers (so they could read the characters already) or not working (highly motivated and with large chunks of time available for learning characters and revising). The focus of the lessons moved to reading and writing and dialogues based on characters - with a full-time job and a part time postgrad course I just couldn't keep up with it, and what was meant to be a bit of fun was starting to be a trial. The final straw was in a class where the teacher reassured me in front of everyone that some people just learn more slowly. Thing is, I'm a language grad, thought languages were 'my thing' (I often feel negative about my abilities too so that part is important!) and the hurt pride just added insult to injury. I didn't go back.

I think my point is that a lot depends on the group, so you shouldn't take it to heart. And language classes always, always have people who are super keen, someone whose husband/mum/girlfriend is from the country, the person who's already learnt fifteen other languages... so there's no point in comparing. Anyway, I'm hoping to give Chinese another go at some point!

I'm dyslexic but hide it well ( they realised something was up when I got 1% in a mock french exam).
So languages are not my thing. I learnt loads of Italian, using an app called earworms so much that I actually surprised myself when we went!

I always think it's a bit strange how with non-native languages we learn to write, read and speak it all at the same time but with our native language the speaking comes first. I wonder if that's how other languages should be learnt???

I was the same with my Spanish class. Everyone knew stuff and I didn't 😰

I've been going to beginners' Russian for a few months now.
It started off exactly as you describe. There were a lot of people who seemed to be able to read the script and know loads of stuff.... but guess what? They are now the ones struggling with it.
Because they knew a bit at the beginning, they were so loud, showing off a bit.
Now they are finding it harder they have quietened down and others who had NO idea at the beginning are doing well.
So stick at it.

Had they already done a term, most such courses start in September. Ask the tutor for any materials or online resources to help you . I bet you were not alone though.