Had enough

[RunDownAndStampedOn]

So my ex decided today that he wants money from me out of child benefit because he has our children 3 night a week. I've told him no. he's now saying that he's applying for the child benefit if i don't agree and because they'll probably award it to me given that they do live with me, he's going to keep trying claim it every two weeks. So basically his children will have no money every time he puts in a counter claim.
What can i do? He sees them every week, and i gave him money in summer and Christmas.
He's made hints previously that he could just not fetch the kids home when he's meant to. We have no court agreement in place because everything he's asked for i have given him. Eg block weeks during summer, birthdays and Christmas, bank holidays and his family meals out etc.
We have been separated over a year now, and it's every few months he pulls shit like this. Making things difficult for the sake of getting at me. He's actually a great dad, but on the flip side does a great dad do this to his kids mum?
Has anyone been through this or anything similar? And do you have any advice? Its like he's always trying to control me in one way or another and I've had enough.

Wet washing, that's exactly the same here. He's A great dad, but a shit co parent.
In regards to offering him a child to claim benefit for, i mistakenly thought it would be a fair thing to do. One child each is 80 per 4 weeks each. Then he pulled some sly tricks and i lost the whole trust i had in him. previously, the whole 4 weeks child benefit paid for just less than one half of the youngest childs nursery fees. Father paid towards it and i paid the rest. My income from my job paid rent, bills and every other living cost i had, including food and clothes for the children. youngest child didn't need to be in nursery, it wasn't a job related need, it was because i thought it would be beneficial to be around children the same age for a few hours a week and he agreed.
He started to demand receipts for this because i was charged for days child didn't attend. These were due to bank holidays where you still have to pay, and unluckily a few fell within a short space of time on childs day. i got sick of being asked for receipts for things and was starting to feel controlled, so i paid it myself and asked for child maintenance instead. i carried on
paying it and Youngest child has since qualified for the 30 hours free, which i hope wont be affected when he puts his counter claims in. Little things like this is what he is going to be affecting. How can a man do this to his children?

He wants money that he actually by rights owes you through Child maintenance.
Is he having a bubble bath. I think child benefit will probably laugh at him.

I'm sorry but great dad's have their child in tears by speaking to the mother of theIr child like shit.

I don't know how old your children are but I would talk to them about money.If they can have free school meals,then if they have those then you can afford treats,having packed lunches costs more so less treats.Children do understand this and want to help you make those fiance's work.Help them help you make a meal plan for the week,put it up on a chalk board so they know what is coming next(saves the what's going tea when they've o finished breakfast).
Go for every other weekend,if you work or can work as they get older you will never get quality time with them ,he should be doing EOW and week days/holidays as agreed.
I know it's tough but work out what you want that meets your child's needs and go for it.Children cost time ,love and money.He need to be putting in as much as you.

Child benefit is for residential parent,do not even negotiate this with him.

He said its unfair he has to pay child maintenance for one less day. I told him to take it up with them if he didn't agree with it.i don't make the costs up.
The thing is, their first night they go later, so they've already had tea and are ready for bed so his first night costs him nothing. They then have their two full days/nights and then come home any time before dinner
He is unable to have them full time anyway, due to his job, his start times and finish times are not school friendly and can change. He'd have difficulty getting them to school in time each morning. He'd have to have hours like 10-2 work wise to even make that work. They don't attend the same school.
From where he lives and where their school is, should school ring and send one home, he's likely to be in work and would take him 40 minutes on a bus minimum to get there. My work hours are on days they are with their father, so i am always available to go Collect if i was needed to. I hope this would go in my favour should he try go for custody

There's a whole other trauma behind school dinners. We tried them, was paying for them and they weren't being eaten. Dinner ladies trying to encourage child to try something they didn't want. Resulted in child keep playing at being sick to be sent home to avoid them. Melt downs trying to get child into school until i got to the bottom of it. Tried packed lunches, picks what they will eat and had enjoyed and stayed on them since. So this is not something i want to change. I have asked eldest every now and again if still wanting packed lunches and answer always yes. I work and earn money, and if that's what its going to cost me for packed lunches then that's what it'll have to be. it was awful watching my child so distraught over not wanting to go to school and not knowing why.
And youngest just wants same as older sibling.

@RunDownAndStampedOn I would just tell him that, as you cant come to a compromise, you will do everything by the rules. Which may include losing some child benefit but will also mean you received the correct amount of child maintenance (you said you accept lower). Just make it all official so that he has nothing to threaten you with or hold over you.

I offered him to pay less, however he refused to pay anything, gave me abuse and tried to make me jump through hoops. for a measly amount that i just gave up and contacted csm like he insisted i did because he believed he owed nothing and they'd tell me as much. I told him from now on that's what he can pay. If they'd have said a lower amount then that's what it would be. I never wanted to do that, but he was so smug i just thought enough is enough.
The only reason i don't want to give him any of the child benefit now is he's doing it out of spite and if i give it him, next month hell want either more or something else. He's already kept items of value that were mine that i have let go, of which to replace has cost me so far 600. Its the control part of it i can't put up with any longer. I already do a big share of the picking up and dropping off for his visits to save him bus fares which he tried to say i should pay for as well.

I can see his point. If the split is 4/3 days and you get CB and maintenance while he gets nothing that seems unfair.

His first day, they go at bed time because he has a late finish however they count it as a night. I get its unfair, which was why I've given him money previously, but not little bits, i gave him 200 at summer, 150 at Christmas. He's cost me a lot more on top in things he's kept of my personal items. he's walked all over me to the point that i am not giving him anything any more. I am not a money pot he can keep dipping his hand into. I have an appointment today,i will see how that goes and what course of action is best. I am standing my ground

I don't get it either - it is a 3/4 split so I would expect that you both had to have stuff in place at home for the children.

If it works that you take responsibility for all the costs, (shoes, trips, clothes, clubs etc), then the child benefit will help, and as PP have said resident parent gets that.

Why is he also paying maintenance? How much money does he have? If he is rich - fine. If he is not then it's only right for your children that they have as nice a time with Dad, (warm house, nice food, treats), as they do with Mum.