To complain to school about announcing GCSE results?

[Rachel178]

DD1 is 15, almost 16, and is taking her GCSEs this summer. She is, and always has been, extremely clever, and should do very well.

However, she attends a top ultra-selective private girls' school where the pressure to get straight A*s is, in my opinion, ridiculous.
(long story - she went to state primary, her headmaster advised us to try for a scholarship at this school for secondary, she ended up getting a huge scholarship making it affordable for us)

The key worry DD has is that the school award a 'prize' to every girl in the year who gets at least 9As; when their GCSE certificates are awarded in assembly, it is read out who got this prize and who didn't, so everybody knows whether you got 9As. A list of the 'prize'-winners is also published on the school website and in the school magazine. About 2/3 of the girls achieve this every year.

DD has started having weekly panic attacks and nightmares about GCSE results - in her mind, the results that would be a disaster and utterly humiliating would be 8As and 2As, because then 'everybody would know that I hadn't got 10As'.

To me, the sort of school where 8A*s and 2As is synonymous with failure is not a healthy environment. I massively regret sending DD there now.

I know I'm not going to be able to get the school to change the 'prize', but would I be unreasonable to speak to them about the sort of pressure they're putting on their students?

@Pengggwn

Personally, I'd rather not - I think her results are her own private business, and she should be able to choose who she wants to tell and who she doesn't.

And yes, it is our fault for choosing this school. We had her sit the exam on a whim - after her headmaster at her state primary recommended it - and when she got a massive scholarship it seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up on. We didn't know much about the private system, and as she'd always been a bright kid, thought it was the best thing for her.

At the time, our nearest comprehensive - the state school she got a place at - was in special measures, and we didn't want to send her there. It's since been turned into an amazing academy, and has recently been ranked outstanding, so we're applying for a place there for her for sixth form, even though she is currently adamant that she wants to stay with her friends at he private school.

I think OP is worried about the pressure of the next however many months rather than the results themselves.

Information Commissioner’s Office guidance on publication of exam results by schools

ico.org.uk/media/for-organisations/documents/1135/publication-of-exam-results-by-schools-dpa-guidance.pdf

This isn’t new practice 25 years ago when I was at school everyone who got 10 A’s at GCSE got a book of their choosing which was presented to them in a special assembly. I chose Pride and Prejudice. Getting all As is a great achievement why shouldn’t it be celebrated. Better to manage her expectations and let her know you are proud of her whether she finishes top of year or not.

If GCSE results are announced in August how do they have an assembly where they read out the name of the prize winners?

I think YABU although I feel really sorry for your dd as she is obviously suffering. As an anxious high-achiever myself, I think the most important thing my parents taught me was resilience. And you won't teach your dd that by complaining to the school. She needs to learn how to cope with pressure now so that by the time she goes to university she has strategies in place.

@LegallyBrunet

The assembly happens the following September/October, once they're in Year 12.

Personally, I'd rather she moved schools for sixth form, and went to our local comprehensive, which is now an outstanding academy, but she wants to stay with her friends at the private school.

" in her mind, the results that would be a disaster and utterly humiliating would be 8As and 2As, because then 'everybody would know that I hadn't got 10As'."

That's the key part, she decided to believe something that is completely false.

I would complain to school (& expect nothing to change). But the real gain is when/if you can convince your DD that this is entirely a crisis of her own making. She is in control & can make this worry go away. She is the ONLY person who can make this worry go away, for that matter.

Op - In your shoes, I think the priority would be helping your dd get a proper sense of perspectives. If you haven't already done so, I'd read Carol Dweck's book on mindsets. I'd also be talking A LOT about why it's important to find stuff difficult and the value of failure.. In the nicest possible way, your dd needs to build her personal resilience. It is nuts for her to be in such a tizz about this.

As much as I can see why this is uncomfortable (and know from experience what it feels like to be the person being left out) it's more important to put things in to perspective for her.

This is just the beginning of these sort of situations in life. It happened to me at school in a very selective competitive environment and it certainly did toughen me up. Once it's all over, if she does get the award, she will realise she shouldn't have stressed so much over it. And if she doesn't get the award, she will realise it's just exhausting to stress over something you don't have full control over

PS: when DD got her marital arts black belt, they had everyone sitting in a big hall in groups.

Sorry but I had to chuckle at that. :)
The school organised a public orgy?

I know I'm not going to be able to get the school to change the 'prize', but would I be unreasonable to speak to them about the sort of pressure they're putting on their students?

The pressure they put on their students clearly leads to superb results. Perhaps you might instead celebrate this rare island of excellence in a sea of grinding mediocrity?

In my experience, pupils who are academically excellent and on G &T programmes are put under this kind of pressure no matter what school they’re at if that school is in the top % of the country.
In all likelihood she’d be like that in a state comp. When they are at A level these children are then pressured to get into Oxbridge or top RG unis, goes with the territory of being a high achiever. My DD is currently awaiting her 5th offer for uni and she’s beating herself up if she doesn’t get her 1st choice (although she’s got an UC already).

Oxford are interested in GCSEs , Cambridge don't care about GCSEs at all (except for medicine).It's all about the A levels, and they interview everyone who has a realistic chance.DS is at cambrisge and has only got 6As at GCSE, but when to get 4 As at A level

DM used to say to me when I was having a clothes crisis no one will be looking at you, they'll be too busy looking at themselves

I suspect this might be similar when the time comes. People will be listening for their own names, not other peoples.

Yes. And to collateral damage.

a top ultra-selective private girls' school where the pressure to get straight A*s

Which is why you sent her there, isn’t it.

The pressure they put on students costly leads to superb results

Nah, the school is highly selective, remember? They only let in kids who will get superb results in the first place. Plenty of selective schools quietly let go students who start to underperform as Y11 approaches. Or, as a pp said, they just don't let them take exams they might not do brilliantly on. That's how you get 99% A - A* results across a cohort.

*clearly

I clearly can't proof read.

I can't believe the answers on here.

Someone compared her to an Olympian finishing 4th???

She isn't an Olympic athlete who has chosen to compete at the highest level - she is a CHILD, doing state sanctioned exams which she has no choice but to take.

The olympics are not comparable to GCSEs because GCSEs are not a competition against other people they are a measure of your own achievement.

A child can get a C and do well - for themselves. I worked as hard to get a C in maths as some girls in my school did to get an A.

what utter bollocks to say this is about celebrating achievement - it's teaching the girls that only the absolute peak of achievement matters - it isn't even a useful lesson for real life. In real life what matters is wellbeing, family, friends, having a job you enjoy not 'achieve, win, beat others'.

no wonder we have an epidemic of mental health problems among our teenagers.

Marking has changed this year with the top mark now being a 9 equivalent to and A**, they say that very few students will now get a full set of 9s. I wonder how this will reflect what they do ?

Something else about the school I hate (now that I'm on the topic).

At the door where all the girls enter in the mornings they have a 'countdown' whiteboard which has written on it the number of days until each yeargroup's next set of exams (so end of years for year 7-10, GCSEs for Year 11, A-levels for Year 13).

So that from the moment they enter the school in the morning their focus is exams.

we're applying for a place there for her for sixth form, even though she is currently adamant that she wants to stay with her friends at he private school.
OP from the evidence provided i imagine your daughter is really bright and also hardworking. She gained a scholorship to a great school and you are thinking of pulling her out of it at a key stage of her academic life from and social development. I'm sorry but you can't be thinking straight! So what if they call out the names of high achievers. I think your focus should be on helping her cope with the transition to adulthood life by giving her coping strategies if she is anxious and helping her to toughen up for life. When she gets to uni exam results are usually posted up on a board for everyone to see.

To put the other perspective, I never won a prize at senior school despite getting all A and A*. Best results in the year. Why - my school refused to acknowledge academic achievement as it was “unfair” so I sat ignored through multiple end of year assembly where everyone else it seemed got a prize for sport or drama or music all of which I was crap at. I never felt valued, bullied for being “brainy”. I would have loved to have gone to a school like your daughters. But that doesn’t mean it’s suiting her so if you think the alternative might be better, move her, I wish my parents had moved me so I could have enjoyed school some