NC for this as believe me they would know it was me!
Pre baby we always made the effort,my husband's family all live nearby and he has 3 siblings with partners that are all quite demanding as well as in laws who are lovely. They all have to be seen regularly otherwise there's suddenly an issue and we don't want to see them because we don't like them or something odd. They've all had kids before us and they're kids are all aged 6 upwards now. We always made a huge effort always going to them because it was easier with their kids, even recently we go to them even though we have a newborn and they have teenagers and self sufficient 6, 8, 10 year olds. So we stopped doing it as much especially as our baby is massively into routine, she will be very grouchy around 5pm onwards so visits after work etc or going round for dinner don't work, she has to go to bed in her own cot at a set time.
Apparently they've all forgotten this as they've all got older kids and it's our fault we don't see them all enough and basically we're terrible family members. We definitely made a rod for our own backs by always doing the visiting pre baby and now it's come back to bite us. They actually all bitch about us to each other and we hear little bits from lovely in laws who aren't spreading stuff but just say to us "make sure you see XX soon becauseI don't think they're too happy"
We also get passive aggressive group text messages like oh the routine thing doesn't get any easier you know,we still struggle (their kids are 8 and 12) and when we offer them to come round they're too busy for ages or they can't do the days and times we offer, they want to do evenings whilst we offer mornings/lunch as otherwise baby is grouchy and they don't like this. I just don't know what to do, WIBU to send a group message along the lines of "sorry we don't get to see you all as much but our door is always open apart from evenings as baby is a grouchy madam we'd love to see you all" to make the point they need to start coming to us?? WWYD??