To be really irritated?

[WorkingMumOnTheGo]

My OH has been out more times than I can count to go to his mates who are complete alcoholics after work and have a drink and then go into town because his alky mates apparently make him go When I planned to have a girls night out, he made me feel really guilty saying I need to realise what is important my family or getting drunk and doing stupid things and I told him that he is a cheeky b@stard and a hypocrite but then I never did go out in the end cos I couldn't be bothered with any more confrontation. He didn't text me all day while at work today, I rang and rang an hour after he finished and he didn't reply and he came stumbling into the door eventually and guess what! He was absolutely hammered. He said he was forced to have alcohol! I had dinner all ready to eat like I do every single night and he was sick everywhere all over the kitchen sink. I told him I had enough of him and his sh ! t and I want him out of my face and sent him to stay to the spare room. I am definitely planning a night out now, I don't care what he says I won't be guilt tripped into staying in like I do every single night after taking care of my DS I just feel really angry I can't even sleep!

Oh, so he kearned when he was depressed that he could treat you badly (otherwise you wouldn't have been thinking of leaving him then) and is putting that lesson to good use. Either way, he's not depressed now, so you can and should leave him. Alcohol is expensive even when you're drinking excessively at home, but he's drinking "out" (does he buy rounds?). That's sucking money out of the family and either pissing it down the drain or vomiting it in the sink! He's continually turning money into bodily waste without even feeding himself, and certainly not feeding you and DS.

Also, although he may have a job now (for you to ring him at work), this phase of functional alcoholism may well not last. Please get a job (if you don't have one already) and leave before he can lose his job and make you feel guilty for leaving him then. It's a very dangerous trap! Please be careful.

Yup, never mind the night out (you can have plenty of them in the next few years) but kick him the fuck out and improve your life, he has shown you his colours and you need to act on it.

"My friends forced me to get drunk"

In my experience it is always the most spineless, pathetic louts who come out with this shit excuse. Fuck planning a night out, plan your fucking escape from this loser.

He sounds like he has a drinking problem.

Your solution of 'definitely planning a night out' for yourself now, sounds quite petty. You have bigger problems than who gets to go out with their friends.

Drinking to the point of throwing up in the kitchen sink is not normal behaviour, arguing about who gets to go out drinking is also not normal behaviour. Saying he was 'forced' to drink or can't say no is also another red flag.

Please get rid of this loser from your life.

Every time I read one of these threads, I feel like my DH should be canonised.

And he shouldn’t. He’s great but he’s just a decent parent and partner who pulls his weight as he should.

OP, when you were a little girl did you want this type of relationship for yourself? Your son will learn from his father that this is ok. And he’ll grow up having no respect for you, either.