To want to work out

[Littlestchristmastree]

My turbo trainer is set up in the garage, not joined in to the house but very close. I have 2 dds, youngest aged 5. I want to use the turbo trainer once they are in bed. Youngest dd is very upset by the idea of me being out of the house and is refusing to sleep, still up now and most nights is now up til gone 10 when I am going to bed, having not been out as I would prefer to wait until dd is asleep. She has told me she can't sleep as she misses me and is scared without me. I leave a phone for if they need me and I can see the house so would know that they are OK. Aibu to want to workout or is it unreasonable to leave my dds?? Older one has no issues with me going out. Husband works evenings and I work full time so the only other opportunity I'd get would be to do it while they are up but I prefer to send that time with them. Thoughts welcome.....

I don't see a problem as long as the house is secure and they can contact you.

The problem is the child is not happy. That should be the most important factor here.

Not understanding how this is even an issue in the first place. If you're doing it when DC are asleep of an evening how did this even get blown up into such a huge issue

Anyway it's too late now! Can't believe you're happy for your 5 yo to be so scared like that. Do you remember what it was like being scared when you were a child? She doesn't yet have the resources to grasp that she's safe without you at night.

YABU and ridiculous. Do a workout app on your phone in the living room. There's loads of free ones. E.g. Johnson and Johnson, fit bit, Nike training.

I do find mn weird. So many people think it’s ok to be sound asleep whilst a 3yo is alone in a house but this is unreasonable? I would just wait until a time they’re asleep and not tell them you’re doing it.

she will feel more secure at some point but she doesn't just now so best to wait. It's disappointing but if she can't sleep I wouldn't do it.

Find a compromise, maybe in the daytime she wouldn't mind as much? Or take them to a park and jog round it when spring comes.
Maybe do it less often but let her come in and watch, she can play a game on phone. May be boring but better than her being worried or upset.

You sound very uncaring, 5 is very young and its not unreasonable of a 5 yr old to want her mum to be in the house when she goes to sleep.

And to know said mum is going to stay there, and will be there if she has a nightmare or just wakes up.

She is obviously insecure now and does not trust you to stay, as she is afraid to go to sleep, aren't you concerned she is going to sleep so late, how will she do at school?

Your desire to exercise should fit aroung your young Dcs not the other way around.

What if there was a fire, or a burglar entered the house?

Unfortunately you cannot do this. Get a workout dvd and do it downstairs when your kids are asleep

Baby monitor with camera on so she can see you and press talk button if she wants u?

Whilst I agree with the PPs who are pointing out that your youngest is only 5, and needs to feel secure [and I agree with them that it's up to you to make her feel secure in this scenario], I also feel that your youngest has too much power in this situation, and that you are the adult and need to be in control.

And I think you need to help your 5 yr old get over the fear and insecurity.

But also, I feel a 5 yr old shouldn't be up until 10 every night.

So I'd work on getting a better sleep pattern re-established.
Personally, I'd put your plan of exercising while they're in bed on hold for a while, especially if that'll help her bed-time routine.

Perhaps do a bit of exercise while they're still up and can come in with you (maybe have some screen time sitting at the side while you do your thing). Perhaps do 10 minutes while they eat tea together (with the video monitor suggested by others).

Then, once the routine is re-established, you can start to think about what you want to do in the evenings. This is YOUR time.

Having said that, I would never have left a child home alone, and this sounds a bit like your set up. But perhaps the geography of your home isn't like that?

If there's a fire and you're out on your cross-trainer (or whatever it is), would you have time to notice it/get back to the children/get them out in time?

Get a TRX, attach to door frame & work out with that. They are brilliant & noise free.

Or Pikates.

My dh turbos in the garage in the evening when I’m home but if I’m out he moves it to the kitchen.
Tbh even in the garage we can kind of hear it. In the kitchen it makes an unholy racket but if ds(4) is asleep it doesn’t wake him. He also uses the video monitor in the kitchen so he can see ds as not entirely sure he’d hear him over the noise.

I can’t imagine the faff of moving my old turbo from the summerhouse to inside would be worth it! DP’s smart trainer might be slightly easier but the amount of sweat and noise would make the whole process totally unbearable. I totally sympathise! Others who have said ‘just do X’ don’t really get it either, a HIIT dvd is not going to do the same thing at all. Is the garage not accessible from the house directly? I’m imagining they could just come and get you if they needed you? Is that not the case? People who have big houses would be much further away, surely? I think it’s just a case of making sure that they can easily access you rather than anything. Plenty of parents will have garden parties and leave their kids upstairs in bed so I don’t know what all the pearl clutching is about. Of course you aren’t just going to leave the 5 year old to cry but there must be a way to make her feel more comfortable!

I'd do it. It's no different than cutting the grass or washing the car.

The first priority though is to settle your little one. Tell her you're not going to. Give it a week or so then speak with them again.

If she doesn't settle can you take them on a bike ride? You run along side them.

I wonder if what's scared her is that you've made a phone available? So that it sounds as if you're so far away that a phone is necessary to call you back, and she wants you to be somewhere where simply shouting would bring you to her. Old fashioned baby monitor, that picks up sounds from her bedroom and transmits them to the garage, would do the trick.