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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is my colleague trying to get me involved in her bad behaviour?

12 replies

ThePinkPanter · 22/01/2018 18:22

Myself and my colleague work on a specific project which is broadly the same as the rest of the wider team. We have our own caseloads but do a lot of shared work such as stats and presentations. We get on very well despite being total opposites. I'm extremely organised and self conscious about my work whereas she is a massive piss taker and very disorganised.

To give a bit of context she's permanently really late, dresses very inappropriately and continually misses her deadlines. Our boss is very laid back and generally if there's reasonable output he doesn't mind. All of the above though is in such excess they have been addressed with her numerous times but more formally recently. She doesn't get it though and I think feels that she's getting picked up for not performing to the standard I am - which isn't amazing but is good enough. I feel she is becoming resentful of me because of this. The rest of the team are also continually commenting on her skiving etc which I stay well out off.

We schedule our own external appointments but recently she has been ringing me or texting to tell me she's going home early but it's OK because of such and such, she's wearing these trainers but why it's ok.

It is nothing to do with me. I ignore it but now I'm getting really paranoid that she's purposefully trying to involve me in a "well I told Pink" type of way. Today she text saying she was going home an hour early because she didn't feel well but she had took a photo outside the external office yesterday to show the boss she had stayed late so she wouldn't be making the time up. I really don't care. At no time have I given her the impression that I'm keeping tabs on her. We've both been there a year, her eight weeks before me.

It'll cause awful bad feeling if I bring it up to my very approachable manager as we do have a fair amount of shared work but if I don't I know she'll try and make it out to be my fault somehow. In the past she's tried to throw me under the bus for things that are absolutely none of my business, which thankfully the manager saw straight through. What do I do here that won't cause a row but will keep me right?

OP posts:
QuickSod · 22/01/2018 18:25

Sounds like the managers are pretty much onto her already. Especially if her talks are getting more formal and they could she was lying last time. Don't say anything just yet... sounds like she's gonna come a cropper pretty soon anyway

ThePinkPanter · 22/01/2018 18:25

My OP had paragraphs in it until I hit post and they magically disappeared Angry

OP posts:
QuickSod · 22/01/2018 18:25

could tell

museumum · 22/01/2018 18:25

I’d just reply with “If you’re lying to or keeping stuff from [bosses name] don’t tell me! I don’t want to know”.

QuiteCleanBandit · 22/01/2018 18:26

Surely there is a reporting sickness /absence policy she should be following?
I wouldnt reply but discuss with your manager .

Labradoodliedoodoo · 22/01/2018 18:27

Don’t respond to her emails/texts except to say that you don’t need to know what when she’s leaving and she’d be better off telling her boss

Labradoodliedoodoo · 22/01/2018 18:28

I do t want to know about any lies

Partypopper123 · 22/01/2018 18:28

Every time she does this text her back saying 'you need to tell xxxx not me'. You are right she's trying to get 'permission' off you.

Doodlebug5 · 22/01/2018 18:30

Just eachand every time

‘Have you let manager know?’

wowfudge · 22/01/2018 18:45

I wouldn't ask her has she told the boss because she'll then ask you to, or something equally ridiculous. I'd cut to the chase and reply along the lines of, 'Don't tell me, tell X. You need to follow the proper procedure - it's in the company handbook you were given', etc.

ThePinkPanter · 22/01/2018 18:52

Queen there are and they're used but for lone working unless they start ringing clients to check up, they have no way of knowing just how much she is slacking off. In the last week I'd guesstimate from what she's told me about 7 hours.

Wowfudge she's done that before with sickness- ringing my mobile to say she couldn't get through to the boss but let them know she won't be in. I said no that I couldn't and that stopped tbf.

I might start replying with something along labradoodle's lines. I don't want to sound confrontational though.

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 23/01/2018 09:47

I don't think it matters if you are somewhat confrontational. She's taking the piss and you have been more than understanding. It must impact your workload/morale at some point!

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