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AIBU?

To think this is weird and to ask them not to do it

32 replies

Jacketornot · 22/01/2018 15:16

I have a younger sibling (21) who still lives at home. DM and I message on WhatsApp quite regularly. Sometimes, I'll get a reply that is written in the first person as though it is my DM (e.g. "Yes ok jacket I'll do that, thanks, love you") but it's actually Dsib writing it. DM knows Dsib is writing it, usually it's if she is driving or something but wants to reply quickly. I think it's weird not to just preface the message with "it's Dsib here, DM driving but she asked me to say etc..."

I don't really like not being sure who I'm talking to. I have said this and they think I am the one being weird and unreasonable.

Aibu or are they?

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00100001 · 22/01/2018 16:57

Yes YWBU.

because it doesn't fucking matter

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FurCoatFurKnickers · 22/01/2018 17:07

Unless you were planning to slag off your sib in the message then I'm not sure I see the issue here.

Lots of people will send a dictated text on behalf of someone if, e.g. they are driving.

Was it the "love you" part of it that felt a bit odd as it was sent by your sib, albeit dictated by your mother?

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Jacketornot · 22/01/2018 18:56

Seems the general consensus is that it doesn't matter. I guess I just don't like how Dsib tries to sound like DM. Also the messages aren't ones that require an immediate reply so it could wait until DM is able to.

Another thing that used to happen often (doesn't now as I have young children so rarely get uninterrupted phone conversations) is I would call DM and be having a long conversation and would realise after a while - sometimes half an hour or more - that I was on speakerphone and Dsib was silently in the room and no one had told me.

I think they think the same as a pp. That unless I'm planning on shagging Dsib off, which I'm not, then it doesn't matter. But I'd like to be able to talk to my own DM without someone else always secretly also in the conversation.
Appears this is pretty much just me, which is fair enough.

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Jacketornot · 22/01/2018 18:58

Hahahaha fantastic autocorrect. Slagging off, of course, not shagging

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burnoutbabe · 22/01/2018 19:14

putting people on speakerphone without saying is just rude, would be unprofessional in a work situation.

I get what you mean, in the old MSN days my parents would use one account and I'd not know who i was chatting to if they refused to say, it felt very odd.

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Louiselouie0890 · 22/01/2018 19:28

Yabu. You are talking to DM it's just not her fingers doing the typing. I could not be arsed texting explaining it was me not DM who's driving but she said.......q

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FurCoatFurKnickers · 22/01/2018 19:42

putting people on speakerphone without saying is just rude, would be unprofessional in a work situation.

My Dad does this but he's partially deaf. He doesn't tell the caller he's doing it, but then he's in his 80's and not in the workplace! I can generally tell if I'm put on speakerphone by someone as it sounds different, kind of an echo effect.

@Jacketornot I can understand why you don't want your sib overhearing a phone conversation. I think you need to say to your Mum "don't put me on speakerphone, I want to talk privately" when you call. Also ask your sib to respond to texts on behalf of your Mum by not using the first person but typing "DM says ....."

So I've changed my mind from my initial post

YANBU to want some semblance of privacy when contacting your Mum