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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baffling helpfulness

20 replies

PossiblyPFB · 21/01/2018 23:08

I can’t stop thinking of this so just posting now- the other day I was at a station and the escalator was unexpectedly out of service, and I witnessed a random man offer to help a woman who was carrying a child and pushing along a pushchair - but bizarrely, he offered to carry the baby for her, not the pram.... it was all a bit weird- she accepted (I wouldn’t have allowed my baby into a stranger’s arms) but then she had the awkwardness of carrying the pram up and over. She wasn’t particularly struggling with the pram, otherwise I would’ve helped her, but, I just thought how very odd that this man offered to take her child rather than the pram? I kept eyes on him as it felt odd to me - she had to shout at him to stop and come back as he was casually walking off towards the barriers with her baby before she collected herself at the bottom. All was well, he duly handed her baby back, but - AIBU that this was just baffling that if he was really trying to help this woman, he didn’t offer to help her with the pram instead of the baby? What on earth was he thinking, as he obviously didn’t have bad motives? And her agreeing to a stranger to carry her baby!?! Anyone else witnessed something like this, where it’s an offer of help, but just not what would be the most normal way of carrying it out??

OP posts:

SumThucker · 21/01/2018 23:11

A bit odd, yes, but I wouldn't read too deeply into it.

Bambamber · 21/01/2018 23:19

People just have different ways of thinking.

I was a train station once and a lady had some shopping and a child in a buggy. She took the child out the buggy to get up the stairs to get over a bridge so was trying to juggle a child, buggy and shopping. I asked if she would like a hand, in my mind I was going to carry the buggy or the shopping. But she turned around and just dumped her small child in my arms. I'm not sure who was more shocked, me or the child

Needaneusername · 21/01/2018 23:25

Bambamber* - that sounds a bit like what happened to me except I was the mother. A woman offered to hold dd's hand and help her up the stairs across a bridge in a train station while I held the buggy and shopping. I didn't even question it actually. I've never thought anything of it, except how kind she was, until this moment. The buggy was bulky and hard to carry and it was much easier for her to hold dd's hand then it would have been for her to carry the buggy. She was quite a bit older than me, maybe in her early 70s so perhaps wouldn't have been able to manage the buggy and that's why she offered to help dd. Ive never thought this deeply it about it before lol.

GreyFluffball · 21/01/2018 23:28

Tbf it's the kind of thing I can see my DH doing, and then later he'd tell me and I'd explain it was odd and he'd be surprised anyone might have thought it was odd!

Weedsnseeds1 · 21/01/2018 23:42

Just sounds like something that felt logical at the time.
I was once following a woman with a toddler and a baby in a pram down an escalator at an airport. She wrestled the pram into place and the toddler pulled away from her hand and stepped back to the top at the last moment.
I had just stepped on, so grabbed toddler and transported him to the bottom.
Silent handover to mother at the bottom, I just carried on walking. Maybe I should have just left him at the top?

Original poster

PossiblyPFB · 21/01/2018 23:48

weeds actually I saw him look at her, see the predicament, and then say, “can I help you? Ok, I’ll take the baby, ” - I guess my point is that for a strong looking, youngish, able man, I would have expected him to pick up the pram for her rather than the small baby! It didn’t feel logical at all!! Agree in your situation it was very different !

OP posts:

TheCowWentMoo · 21/01/2018 23:54

It probably just seemed logical at the time. He probably saw her struggling and offered the first form of help that came to his head. Also maybe he just likes babies, not in a sinister way just a cute way so got carried away with it's cuteness and that's why he carried on walking.

Namechangetempissue · 22/01/2018 00:01

Maybe he couldn't lift anything heavy or cumbersome? I look very physically strong and fit (athlete) yet if I'm in the grip of sciatica or my dreadful knees are having a bad day (overworked!) I can't lift much at all without being in agony. You would never think it looking at me. So while I could probably manage a tiny baby I couldn't wrangle an awkward pram. Maybe not of course, but sounds like he was being nice! I would appreciate the offer.

sausagerollsrock · 22/01/2018 00:05

I see what you’re saying, but isn’t it sad that we see the bad in what was probably just a kind gesture.

SparklyLeprechaun · 22/01/2018 00:14

I'd assume he couldn't carry the pram for whatever reason. Reminds me of this couple I saw the other day, she was lugging a huge suitcase and another bag and he was carrying a box with the cutest kitten.

PurpleDaisies · 22/01/2018 00:16

I think you’re making far too many leaps here.

A man did a nice thing to help someone out.

TattyCat · 22/01/2018 00:28

Oh wow. This post has made me realise that I've not seen a buggy AT ALL in my town since I moved here, 15 months ago. Really. Not one.

I have however, seen lots of old people albeit none in wheelchairs or buggies...

TattyCat · 22/01/2018 00:28

I see what you’re saying, but isn’t it sad that we see the bad in what was probably just a kind gesture.

This.

crunchymint · 22/01/2018 00:28

The fact he was walking off with the child would worry me actually and make me wonder if he had any alternative motives.

TickyTakky · 22/01/2018 00:36

I think it's easier to work out how to carry a baby than a buggy so I'd not be suprised to see a man offer to carry the baby. I know it may come as a shock but there are loads of males who wouldn't have a problem holding a baby. Both my sons babysat little kids and one babysat a baby.

I wouldn't have found this odd at all.

TrinitySquirrel · 22/01/2018 00:39

My 7m old is almost 25lbs. I'd rather carry the bloody pram.

Original poster

PossiblyPFB · 22/01/2018 10:04

crunchymint yes he walked ahead at a normal pace- he was 20 feet or more ahead of her with her child over the stairs and didn’t wait for her at the bottom. Obviously he was just an innocent, helpful and well meaning man as it turns out - but it was an odd situation that he wouldn’t consider she might prefer he walk more closely to her, if not wrangle the pram instead of the baby!

OP posts:

mmgirish · 22/01/2018 10:23

I offered to help a lady on a bus with her pram and she handed me the baby instead...

ZoopDragon · 22/01/2018 10:33

Maybe he was a dad and it just felt natural to pick up the baby?

It wouldn't have bothered me.

ZoopDragon · 22/01/2018 10:35

People have handed babies to me when I've offered to help with a buggy. I can see why- a wriggly thrashing baby is hard to carry when you've got a buggy!

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