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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed the charity shop would not accept my donation

643 replies

Bearbehind · 21/01/2018 13:49

I've had a bit of a clear out and had some stuff to take the the charity shop.

I checked on line it was open today then took the stuff into town.

You can't park right outside so I carried the stuff, in the snow, to the shop only to see a sign which said they no longer open on Sundays.

Oh well, I thought but, all the lights were on and I could see at least 3 people inside so I knocked the door and someone opened it.

He said they were shut and I explained I didn't want to come in, just drop these donations off.

He outright refused to accept them, because they were shut, and I'd have to go to another branch of theirs that was open today or come back tomorrow.

AIBU to think that if someone has made the effort to bring a donation to a charity shop and if there's are people there, they should accept them.

I'll be buggered if I'm taking stuff to them again.

OP posts:
k2p2k2tog · 21/01/2018 15:18

I also think in many areas throwing stuff out is difficult. We get fortnightly rubbish collections and that's fine for us, but my bin wouldn't have capacity for 2 weeks' rubbish, and stuff from a hige clear out. People are faced with a trip to the dump, or a charity shop. Also people often feel very guilty about throwing things out. So they are allowing themselves to feel less guilty about it by giving us their things.

Charities pay commercial waste rares to dospose of junk we can't sell. It costs a bloody fortune.

lynmilne65 · 21/01/2018 15:19

is 'donee' even a word ??

Mrsmadevans · 21/01/2018 15:20

It wouldn't have hurt them to take them off you OP , don't let it put you off donating though. I am sure if you went to somewhere else they would have been totally fine about it .

Ruffian · 21/01/2018 15:23

k2p2k2tog You're determined to believe the worst of people aren't you? Yes, people are deliberately dumping their rubbish on charity shops because they can't fit it in their bin and they want to assuage their guilt, that makes perfect sense. Hmm

Pancakeflipper · 21/01/2018 15:24

I'm another person who cannot see why they couldn't have taken the bags, said thanks and put them to one side. Seeing as they'd already opened the door to you.
You might be that donor with bin liners full of unused decent clothing with the tags still on....

k2p2k2tog · 21/01/2018 15:24

Totally agree it doesn't make sense. But what other explanation would you have for people giving charity shops bags of tat which would never sell in a million years?

Slartybartfast · 21/01/2018 15:26

Next to bottle banks are often book banks as well as clothing banks, use those

Ruffian · 21/01/2018 15:27

My explanation would be that they believed their 'tat' had some value and thought they were being helpful. But then I tend to look for good in people rather than deriding them.

k2p2k2tog · 21/01/2018 15:29

Yup Ruffian, loads of value in chipped mugs and board games with loads of bits missing.

Suggest you volunteer a few shifts and see what some people think is suitable to give us. It's often grim.

IsMyUserNameRubbish · 21/01/2018 15:31

Yes YABU, you could have the face of innocence itself but they don't know that, they could've opened the door to you and five men run in to rob the place, yes it happens. And if it did happen then the insurance wouldn't pay out because they were in the wrong, opening the door when they're closed.

MissConductUS · 21/01/2018 15:32

We have a local charity that will send a lorry to pick up donations. They came last Monday to pick up three large bags of old clothes I wanted to donate. I left them outside our garage door in the driveway.

The lazy driver, in his desire to get as close as possible to the bags, backed the lorry into my garage, crushing the aluminum gutter and knocking my flagpole off the front to the garage. It's going to cost $300 to get the gutter section replaced. It's a two car garage so it's a very long section of gutter.

I'm not sure how easy it's going to be to get reimbursement from them. So not taking your donation was not really the worst thing that could have happened.

DonkeyOil · 21/01/2018 15:34

Because you are being so gracious and generous as to take your unwanted stuff to charity their rules, announced on signs , shouldn’t matter and the volunteers working on a Sunday should jump to do your bidding oh most benificent one? Is that your thinking op?

I'm not the op, but well, yes, in a nutshell.........Charity shops wouldn't exist without donations, and I think you must know, if you work in a charity shop, that not all donations are going to come from 'show home' households. I expect the bag of toys with a dead rat in it had been stored in a shed somewhere, and the person would have been mortified, had they realised.

Pengggwn · 21/01/2018 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SugarPlumpFairie · 21/01/2018 15:35

I think YABU. Our local charity shop has had to stick a sign in the window this week as they've had so many donations due to everyone having a post Christmas clear out. They haven't got infinite room to store donations that they haven't got time to go through and price etc.
It's good that you're donating, but perhaps try a different charity shop (and check which days it's open before you drag your stuff to it).

Pengggwn · 21/01/2018 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ButterflyOnTheWindow · 21/01/2018 15:38

if I was making a special trip in the snow, carrying goods to a shop run by volunteers on a Sunday, with no nearby parking it would seem sensible for me to ring the shop first

I work in a charity shop and that's what a large number of incoming calls are for. Lots of sensible people about.

Ruffian · 21/01/2018 15:38

I have volunteered in the past when i had more time k2p2k2tog so I'm well aware that not all donations are fantastic (though many were and made an essential contribution) but the donator was always thanked for bringing it in and, as I said, the assumption was that they were donating in a spirit of generosity.

TruffaloTree · 21/01/2018 15:40

Was it said in a jobsworth kind of way or apologetically? That would make the difference to me. Charity shops only exist due to donations.

Ultimately it's not about the OP or the charity shop workers, it's about the people who benefit at the end of it. Donations and volunteering are a means to an end. OP had made the effort to donate and unless some proper reason (i.e. insurance) that the shop couldn't take it they should have taken it for the goodwill. If there was an "official" or definite reason they should have told OP and thanked her anyway even if they couldn't take the items. Who knows if the donation turned down is something worth a fortune.

Technonan · 21/01/2018 15:42

You don't know why they refused the donation. They could have had an excellent reason. if you dump stuff outside a charity shop, they are liable for any fines for stuff left. They also have to pay to dispose of it as it probably won't be fit to use after being left out in this weather. Stop feeling so noble for getting rid of your old junk.

neighbourhoodwitch · 21/01/2018 15:42

totally agree the pragmatic & helpful thing would have been to just say thank you & take it!!

TruffaloTree · 21/01/2018 15:42

Penggygwn - still, the shop only exists due to donations. No donations = no shop. It's a two way relationship (or three way, if you count the people who shop in charity shops) for the benefit of an third party. And OP wasn't insisting on something unreasonable. She was there to donate having made a special trip, and as per the open hours on the website.

TruffaloTree · 21/01/2018 15:45

Techonan - if the charity shop couldn't take it for a specific reason you'd think they would have told the OP. Why not? And it's not about "they shouldn't have to" - why wouldn't they just say the reason?

I'll bet it's because there is no official reason. Probably they were expecting a visit or inspection the next day and didn't want a new lot of stuff hanging around to sort. Remember that they were meant to be open as per their website.

newtlover · 21/01/2018 15:45

I think OP and all those who agree with her should listen to those PPs who have worked in charity shops, and consider the many logistical and practical problems, plus their function is to raise money as efficiently as possible for the charity, not to provide a recycling service. They rely on donations, yes, but they must have decided that on balance they maysometimes have to decline them for what ever reason. Plus the workers are most likely volunteers and while they should have been polite and regretful whilst declining your donation, OP, they don't have the authority to bend the rules. Lots of people volunteer in charity shops as a first step on the road to employment after illness, or they have disabilities so I'm not surprised if occassionaly they have less than perfect social skills.
And for al those saying donate dirctly to shelters and refuges, that is fine BUT only if the items are of a quality you would wear or use yourself. And ask first, they may be completely overwhelmed with donations, meaning staff have to spend time sorting through stuff rather than helping their clients.

ButterflyOnTheWindow · 21/01/2018 15:46

They don't say they need to sort through it first to decide whether or not they will take it

We don't sort through a bin bag before we take it. But we have to sort through it straight away before another twelve dozen arrive.
If it wasn't dealt with straight away the backlog would be overwhelming. To avoid this, we don't accept it when we're closed and there's nobody there to deal with it. (The volunteers in a closed shop are there for a specific task, e.g stock rotation or cleaning)

C8H10N4O2 · 21/01/2018 15:47

there’s no effort in physically accepting the stuff

But there is in sorting through and there is cost in disposing of unsuitable junk and dirty clothes. In the shop where my DM volunteered there were some people trained to do this (usually the paid staff who could be up to date with needs, saleability etc) and non-trained were asked not to accept donations unless a trained person was available.

This was because of the unbelievable amount of unsaleable crap which people dumped on them, always from people who thought they should be grateful. It cost them time and money to process and then dump.

Charity shops are staffed mostly by volunteers - if they are short staffed they can't open. Its entirely possible the people in the shop were there for training or similar.