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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed the charity shop would not accept my donation

643 replies

Bearbehind · 21/01/2018 13:49

I've had a bit of a clear out and had some stuff to take the the charity shop.

I checked on line it was open today then took the stuff into town.

You can't park right outside so I carried the stuff, in the snow, to the shop only to see a sign which said they no longer open on Sundays.

Oh well, I thought but, all the lights were on and I could see at least 3 people inside so I knocked the door and someone opened it.

He said they were shut and I explained I didn't want to come in, just drop these donations off.

He outright refused to accept them, because they were shut, and I'd have to go to another branch of theirs that was open today or come back tomorrow.

AIBU to think that if someone has made the effort to bring a donation to a charity shop and if there's are people there, they should accept them.

I'll be buggered if I'm taking stuff to them again.

OP posts:
AintNoOtherFans · 22/01/2018 15:58

I'm surprised charity shops keep going tbh. With shops like Primark/Asda/Tesco selling clothes for next to nothing and shops having constant sales on, i'm surprised people buy things in charity shops which cost almost as much as something new.

tiktok · 22/01/2018 16:04

Ain’t: this is an issue but the cleverer shops take it on board and adapt. Some won’t put out primark etc etc and others keep prices for the cheap stuff very cheap. It’s a question of making changes in the light of things changing elsewhere.

k2p2k2tog · 22/01/2018 16:10

Ain't - shopping in charity shops for many people isn't about the money. I don't want to wear the same as everyone else. I don't like the ethos of the "wear it once or twice and chuck in the bin" which Primark and the likes promote. If I had a fiver to spend on a top I'd MUCH rather buy good quality used than cheap brand new.

What sells best in our shop is the stuff you just can't get in the shops. Vintage clothes, quirky homewares, pictures, ornaments. At the moment we've got a collection of 1970s board games which everyone remembers from their childhood and which just aren't made any more.

The shop I volunteer at made £125k profit for the charity last year after all expenses had been paid. That's still very much worth doing.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/01/2018 16:24

Aint I'm another who uses charity shops as a matter of ethos, not need. Though I did, for a long time, use them from need. That's why I now volunteer.

The shop I volunteer as has 4 shops locally and they are all that keep a local hospice open.

ButterflyOnTheWindow · 22/01/2018 16:26

We tend not to put the Primark/asda/tesco stuff out either unless it's still got the tag on hence brand new. As pps have said, nobody wants to buy it. We're lucky though as we do also get some really good stuff. The chain I work for is known for its reasonable pricing. Example - I just put out a pair of brand new go walk 3 skechers for £.6.99. I don't do the pricing. They would go for more than that I'm sure.

ButterflyOnTheWindow · 22/01/2018 16:33

Also have plenty of well off friends who buy clothes from charity shops as does my dd who doesn't really need to but finds satisfaction in spotting a bargain and doing her bit towards saving the planet.

AintNoOtherFans · 22/01/2018 16:36

I wonder how much they sold my coat for. It was only 1 season old with only a few wears. I hope they got a good price. I donated it to Mind because the coat was bought as a sort of "compensation" gift for Christmas after a violent episode from my ex. I felt Mind was the appropriate charity to donate to after I finally broke free from him. I also donated boots, tops and another less expensive coat. I hope no one looked in the bag and thought "Oh more crap" Sad because that bag of stuff had a real story behind it.

Kursk · 22/01/2018 16:45

If DH needs a tux for a party he gets it from a charity shop. They are expensive, especially if you only wear it one or twice in your life. If it comes from a charity shop then it’s basically disposable.

Our dump has a swap shop. If the charity shop didn’t accept it then I would have taken it there. I wouldn’t have made a second journey out.

LemonShark · 22/01/2018 17:20

Rarely have I read an OP who is so unwillingly to take responsibility for their own actions and so quick to enrage at such a small issue!

"I lay my reluctance to donate to charity shops in future firmly at your door, along with that of your cronies."

Did anyone ever teach you that you own your own actions OP, and it makes no logical sense to state you're going to do something because of what others have said? It's like you think you're a puppet incapable of your own decisions.

Honestly finding it hard to believe this post isn't a wind up, or that if it is genuine you came on with the specific intention of spoiling for a fight and then kicking off in an attempt to get others to feel bad for giving you the truth/their opinions.

Frankiewears · 22/01/2018 17:39

This is hardly a matter of State.

PERSPECTIVE check.

ButterflyOnTheWindow · 22/01/2018 18:04

LemonShark. I do so hope it's not just a troll. I really love my job in the charity shop. A pp suggested that we volunteers just want something to do with our day. In a sense that was true for me at the beginning. My 30 year old disabled and LD dd went into supported living and after 30 years of caring for her 24/7 to the exclusion of most normal activities of a woman my age, and very little social contact, I was thrust into a strange world of freedom and autonomy. I wandered into town and saw the sign in the shop window 'till worker wanted Fri afternoons' This was no challenge. 4 hours a week, not 24/7. I started the next day and now do more by agreeing to be called in short notice when a volunteer doesn't turn up. 5 years later I've built up a social network and feel less of a stranger to freedom. But I really still enjoy my volunteering. So to the person who suggested that we volunteers 'just want something to do with our day', I think they need to be a bit less scornful. Behind every volunteer there's a story. And their lives are just as important, and likely more eventful and rewarding than yours.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 22/01/2018 18:47

Did anyone ever teach you that you own your own actions OP

lemonshark what 'actions do I need to own'?

I did all I could in the circumstances; checked the opening hours earlier etc. I wasn't traipsing round the county looking for somewhere who did what my items.

it makes no logical sense to state you're going to do something because of what others have said? It's like you think you're a puppet incapable of your own decisions

Of course it makes logical sense to do something based on what others have said.

It's how people generally decide what to do; information is provided and you make decisions based on that.

Numerous people posted to say charities didn't need my shite and a huge proportion gets scrapped anyway and that I should ring and check what they want before I darken their door step.

In future I will ensure items go somewhere they are not the burden that some charity shops, or at least people in them, apparently see donations as.

OP posts:
Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 22/01/2018 18:55

Numerous people posted to say charities didn't need my shite and a huge proportion gets scrapped anyway and that I should ring and check what they want before I darken their door step

I don't understand why you automatically believe them

People come on here and say all sorts of stuff...we all know that

ButterflyOnTheWindow · 22/01/2018 18:55

Hmmm. Now it's becoming increasingly obvious who's trying to find an occupation to fill their day.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 22/01/2018 18:59

I believe them because why would they make it up?

My OP was about the fact they wouldn't accept my items at a point in time but it unleashed barrage of insults about donations in general.

That barrage was from so many people there has to be some truth in it.

It truly surprised me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearbehind · 22/01/2018 19:01

butterfly, troll hunting is not allowed. If you think I'm a troll, report me.

I can defend myself against comment such as those from lemonshark if I choose to.

OP posts:
Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 22/01/2018 19:03

Youre on mumsnet Grin

Without people exaggerating this place would fall apart

There must be thousands of charity stores and even if 10 people on here are saying the same thing it does seem a shame to tar all the others with the same brush

Plus they may all have been kicked out of volunteering in their local charity shops Grin

(Im joking...so please dont yell at me if you are on the thread and volunteer at a charity shop...i am a fragile flower....FACT)

StaplesCorner · 22/01/2018 19:31

Just got back from work, commented on this yesterday. OP is thoroughly enjoying this. No one in their right minds thinks charity shop volunteers should do whatever they are told by people like this.

ButterflyOnTheWindow · 22/01/2018 19:42

I'm 100% confident that the reading of this thread is not going to result in a dramatic and damaging drop in donations to charity shops. Neither is it going to stop those folks who just want to palm off their load of rubbish on us. A man walked into our shop yesterday with an overcoat to donate. It had several dinner medallions and ripped lining. He said 'it just needs a clean and the lining sewing up. You might make some money on that' After paying for cleaning and the services of a seamstress, I doubt it. However, I thanked him and passed it over to the processing vols. Of course we can't afford the services of dry cleaners and menders. It would cost more to clean and mend the coat than we could charge for it. He was a middle aged man who probably had no idea and thought he was doing us a huge favour. I'm not putting OP in this category. Her stuff was likely good quality and saleable. It's just the attitude that's off. If we're closed and can't accept donations, then we're shut and can't accept donations. There are reasons manifold that this could happen. Some of our vols are people with mild LD. They might feel obliged to open the door if a person knocks. They also have instructions not to take in donations
Some of them are socially inept, and really want to keep their jobs, which are unpaid yet very important to them
My shop also has volunteers who are doing community service for one reason or another. There's a lot more to to the running of a charity shop than meets the eye. The OP seems impervious to any reasoning and dismissive of any reasonable explanations for what happened to her. I'm not bothered if she wants to dump her stuff in landfill on the strength of this thread. She'll be pretty much on her own. But this thread has served people to know what happens to their stuff. That's a good thing.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 22/01/2018 19:44

I'll try and explain my thoughts a bit better.

I posted yesterday because I was genuinely surprised that they wouldn't take my items.

I did think these places were 'grateful' for donations. Before people jump on the bandwagon to flame me for that; I don't mean in a bow and scrape kind of way, only in a 'if donors didn't donated to shops they couldn't exist' kind of way.

It turned out that my issue yesterday appears to just be a symptom of a bigger problem.

If the default position is donations are generally shite then it's unsurprising my items weren't accepted yesterday

I was disgusted by posters, most particularly julie but she was not a lone voice, who ranted about me being selfish for using charity shops as a rubbish disposal.

The fact that that is the default position of some people who are involved in charity shops has done a huge amount of damage IMO.

I will not be sneered at or moaned about for trying to help charities raise money by selling on quality items I no longer need.

The volume of disparaging comments on this thread might not be representative, however as they are purporting to be from or are linked to charity shops, and I see no reason why they'd lie about that, I'm choosing to believe their opinion is pretty commonplace.

OP posts:
Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 22/01/2018 19:50

I'm choosing to believe

Thats fair enough

Ive donated as many of us do for years

Skip amounts in the last 20 years which the amount of stuff generated by children

Ive never come across these attitudes and i chose to believe that they are 'uncommon'

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 22/01/2018 19:50

Your comments on staff are very interesting butterfly

Original poster
Bearbehind · 22/01/2018 19:55

I've donated for years too rufus. My gift aid summary for 2016 from one shop was about £700.

Which is why I'm so pissed off that the second post on this thread set the tone.

People on here have absolutely no idea what I was donating yet seemed to find it appropriate to pile in to say it was no wonder they wouldn't take my stuff as it was shite anyway.

OP posts:
cantkeepawayforever · 22/01/2018 20:01

Bear, the shop was closed. They didn't refuse to take your donation, they were closed, and they directed you to where was open and could take it in. To me, that is the crux of the matter - and makes your case different from others where donations have been turned away because e.g. the shop did not need something in particular at that point.

You wanted a closed shop to open and take in a donation. They didn't, but told you where you could take that donation instead.

thebewilderness · 22/01/2018 20:20

My mother taught me that people who refuse to take no for an answer are not safe to be around.