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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed the charity shop would not accept my donation

643 replies

Bearbehind · 21/01/2018 13:49

I've had a bit of a clear out and had some stuff to take the the charity shop.

I checked on line it was open today then took the stuff into town.

You can't park right outside so I carried the stuff, in the snow, to the shop only to see a sign which said they no longer open on Sundays.

Oh well, I thought but, all the lights were on and I could see at least 3 people inside so I knocked the door and someone opened it.

He said they were shut and I explained I didn't want to come in, just drop these donations off.

He outright refused to accept them, because they were shut, and I'd have to go to another branch of theirs that was open today or come back tomorrow.

AIBU to think that if someone has made the effort to bring a donation to a charity shop and if there's are people there, they should accept them.

I'll be buggered if I'm taking stuff to them again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearbehind · 21/01/2018 22:03

So your being selfish to expect a shop to pay for your rubbish disposal at the expense of their charity

Which part of the above do you think was acceptable given you've acknowledged they had no idea what was in the bags julie?

For clarity's- I'm offended by your insistence that I was using them as rubbish disposal.

I suspect this thread has made quite a few people think twice about donating now.

OP posts:
TrickyD · 21/01/2018 22:07

Bearbehind, just remember that no good deed goes unpunished and certanly not by the mean girls of Mumsnet if they get a chance to vent their spite.

roundaboutthetown · 21/01/2018 22:08

Bearbehind - you have a bizarre inability to understand that if the shop is closed on a Sunday when it never used to be, and its volunteers are turning away your donations, that it is likely they do not have sufficient people who are mug enough to volunteer to process everything they are being given. If you resent the tiny amount of going out of your way involved in getting into a warm car and driving into town, then imagine how few people are willing to go in unpaid and spend hours in there sorting through piles of stuff and trying to work out what will sell and how much for, how to deal with the stuff that probably won't sell, deciding when to get rid of stuff that hasn't sold, and how to deal with stuff that neeeds a good wash and iron (probably at their own expense and in yet more of their own time) before it can sell. Your resentment is hugely out of poportion with the actual work you put in. Their resentment at your sort of attitude on the other hand might justifiably be greater!! What cheek to think they are the ones who should be grateful you made a bit of an effort!

Viviennemary · 21/01/2018 22:09

I said earlier I thought the OP was in the right 100%. She was being kind and giving stuff away free to a charity. That couldn't even be grateful for the donation. I agree with the poster who said computer says no. It was pathetic. She made a special trip into town in the snow and they told her to get stuffed more or less. Cf's

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/01/2018 22:11

If they are shut they are shut

Its very unfortunate that you went to all that effort and they really should update their website

KindDogsTail · 21/01/2018 22:11

In the case of the shops where I live, it would be completely untrue to call people's donations waste disposal.

The donated books are so good two of the shops can be treated like a book shop to browse in. Some of the shoes and bags are brand new. Many clothes are from very good labels.

My family gives a lot of good stuff too. If I had just carried loads of bags like the OP and could see the people inside but they would not open the door to accept the bags, I would feel annoyed too.

Marie Kondo, means some almost new things which no longer 'spark joy' to their owners can find a new home with someone who thinks differently!

Someone I know used to volunteer in order to get a pick of good things.

HeadDreamer · 21/01/2018 22:12

I find it easier to give stuff away on gumtree. If no one wants it for free on gumtree then you know no one wants them in a charity shop either.

Stickerrocks · 21/01/2018 22:13

I popped lots of boxes of books into the boot of my car yesterday to drop off at my local Oxfam bookshop. Unfortunately there was a sign on the door stating that they are full to the brim and can't accept anymore donations the the moment. Like the OP, I had checked the website for opening hours and it clearly stated donations are welcome. It wouldn't occur to me to phone the shop as well. I've unloaded the car again and have a hall full of books.

I could take them to the book bank in the Waitrose car park, but the books are likely to get damp or damaged. They also wouldn't be able to reclaim the gift aid, which Oxfam can by using my regular donor stickers. Luckily I have the space after my clear out to hold onto them for a few more weeks.

Yes, dirty & damaged goods are an inherent risk of accepting donations from the public. However, I don't donate grotty items and the OP has made it clear that her donations were also of decent quality. The comments from some of the holier than thou volunteers on this thread are awful. Luckily our local church run community cafe/ coffee shop has run by volunteers who don't share those attitudes or they would be missing out on a lot of donations which raise a lot of money for local projects.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 21/01/2018 22:15

round, I said before, it's not today's incident that has put me off donating.

It's the likes if you and julie who've banged in about the fact most people take shite to charity shops.

I'm fucking livid at julie for saying I'm selfish for expecting a charity shop to do my rubbish disposal.

OP posts:
cantkeepawayforever · 21/01/2018 22:15

If they are shut they are shut

Exactly. The volunteer in the closed shop was very kind in answering the door and directing her to where she COULD donate her items - they absolutely didn't need to do that.

If you drop an e-mail to the main charity's central e-mail - assuming it is a chain - then they can update their website centrally to reflect new opening hours.

However, as I say, I do always ring in, because I want to know whether the shop is open and welcoming what I am bringing in - because i do genuinely want to help, not hinder.

Argeles · 21/01/2018 22:15

That was so unreasonable of them!

How long does it take to just take a few bags through to the back room for fucks sake? Mere seconds.

I hope you’ve got some really excellent things that they’ll now miss out on due to the stupidity and rudeness of the workers.

I don’t know which charity this was, but I always give to animal charity shops, as aside from generally supporting animal charities, I find the staff in the shops are really appreciative, and they usually charge a reasonable price for their items too.

Karigan1 · 21/01/2018 22:16

Charity shops work by getting donations. You aren’t going to get many donations if you refuse to accept those that are taken to you. I’d be miffed too and take my stuff elsewhere.

Julie8008 · 21/01/2018 22:17

So your being selfish to expect a shop to pay for your rubbish disposal at the expense of their charity

I wasn't trying to say that your bag was full of rubbish. I was saying if the shop could not process your bag, for whatever reason, it could be disposed as rubbish, at their expense, automatically because shops cannot cope with every donation. Is that what you would have wanted? Surly it was better they didn't take it?

So I am sorry if you took offence at that comment but you are taking offence at people, who are trying to do good for a charity, without having any idea what their reasons were.

cantkeepawayforever · 21/01/2018 22:17

If the 'disposal of items' factior ISN'T important to you, then what is the problem? You don't need to get rid of them this instant, you could hang on for a day or two until the shop is open. End of story

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/01/2018 22:17

argles

Refusing to take goods when the shop is shut does not make the VOLUNTEERS stupid or rude

cantkeepawayforever · 21/01/2018 22:18

Karigan,

MUST the shop accept donations IF IT IS CLOSED, as it was today?

MUST a shop accept donations IF IT IS FULL?

Why?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/01/2018 22:19

I absolutely agree that it was incredibly frustrating for bear and fair enough she is cheesed off after all that effort

BUT IF THE SHOP IS SHUT...ITS SHUT

Original poster
Bearbehind · 21/01/2018 22:19

Nice bit of back peddling there julie

I simply do not believe any charity just chucks bags of donations into a skip without even looking what is in them, no matter how much stuff they get.

OP posts:
Ariela · 21/01/2018 22:20

YABU. They were shut.
Charity shops have huge volumes of 'stuff' to deal with, espcially at this time of year when folk tend to have a clear out. I imagine the volunteers were in to assist with clearing the backlog and the last thing they wanted was more 'stuff'.

cantkeepawayforever · 21/01/2018 22:20

It is probably also worth considering that charity shops work by SELLING donated items.

Getting the donations in does not, of itself, generate a penny, and can cost a lot in storage and, if oversupplied, disposal.

If the shop cannot sell the donations, or knows it simply cannot display then to sell, what should they do?

Karigan1 · 21/01/2018 22:21

Nope but neither MUST I use them again.

Their loss. I bin junk or stick it in the burner. The stuff that goes to charity tends to be spontaneous clothes purchases with labels still on bevause I get them home and they don’t look right on after all.

roundaboutthetown · 21/01/2018 22:21

If I had been you, Bearbehind, I would have been annoyed at finding the shop closed, but would quickly have got over it (and would not have had the bad manners to knock on the door of a shop with a big Closed on Sundays sign on the door, as I would have understood this meant what it said!). You seem to nurture your resentments. Maybe if you sleep on it, you will wake up feeling more calm about it in the morning and able to let your extreme resentment about a closed shop being closed, go. Would you like it, after all, if you had a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your hotel room door and someone knocked on it to give you some work to do because they thought you should enjoy it and be grateful?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/01/2018 22:22

Charity shops cant be struggling that much if they are turning people away because they are 'full'

Original poster
Bearbehind · 21/01/2018 22:23

I really not that bothered about today's incident now.

I'm incredibly pissed off that, even if I took the stuff somewhere tomorrow, it seems it would automatically be classed as shite and I'd be the person who couldn't be arsed to do the much easier task of putting it straight in the bin.

OP posts:
Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/01/2018 22:25

Why are you letting a bunch of randoms on the internet piss you off that much

Loads of charities are very pleased to get good quality donations, and im sure your unwanted stuff is lovely

Mine is...usually the toys haven't even been opened Smile