I have a younger sister who has been in what we all (the family) think is a mentally abusive relationship for 7yrs. She has 1yr old and a new baby who is just 4ish weeks.
Her DP is the biggest waste of space known to man kind. He does absolutely nothing to help with the children, spends their money on drugs, convinced my sister she had PND and wanted to kill herself after the first child was born and she ended up involved with MH Crisis Team. He leaves her all day while he goes with his friends to do god knows what.. he’s horrific.
She idolises him and I genuinely think she puts him before her kids. Our mum bank rolls them because he spends all their money, the day after she Came Home with the new baby we had to go over late because she had no nappies or wipes for either child. He had smashed the house up and disappeared with all the money.
She lives 3 floors up and has no double pram so can’t take the kids out even if she could manage. They have a dog that doesn’t get out so does it’s business on their balcony or in the house. The places smells of faeces and weed.
My niece is terrified of every bang and crash and I know it because of what she must witness in the house with her lunatic father. The new baby doesn’t make a noise yet my sister constantly asks for my mum to go over to help because apparently baby is up every hour.. when our mum goes my sister leaves her with both kids and sits in her room with the boyfriend smoking weed.
We have a very very shaky relationship, we have extremely limited contact, I’ve tried so many times to help & it’s constantly flung back in my face. My parents are reluctant to get involved and say too much because she just cuts them out her life and stops them seeing the kids. They’re attitude is they would rather know what’s going on in her life.
She needs help, she needs to understand what mental abuse is and see what this cretin is. He told her before she give birth he was leaving as soon as baby was born. He didn’t love her. Yet he’s still there and she’s still putting him before her babies.
I’m at a loss. I don’t understand why her MW or HV hasn’t noticed anything or spoke to her regarding the ness of the house, smell etc.. babies both have thrush / nappy rash. She hasn’t bathed them for weeks so my Aunty and mum done it when they were there. Apparently she’s too scared to bathe new baby.
I want to speak to someone, SS, MH team, HV etc.. to get her additional support or to at least ensure those babies are in a safe, clean environment where they are fed, bathed and not terrified at every bang or crash.
I have spoke to my sister at length about helping her, getting her a new house etc.. she agrees and then ingores me when I try and action anything we have agreed.
I can no longer personally try and do anything, this needs people who know what they’re doing and who she’ll listen to.
Can anyone recommend who to speak to or am I just getting too involved and should just leave it?
I’m terrified something will happen To one of the of the kids. He is never ever left alone with them, the older baby won’t stay with him. She’s hysterical the whole time. Why can’t my sister see this?