WIBU to ask this of a hair salon?

[WingsofNylon]

Would they react badly if I asked them not to make any conversation beyond deciding what needs doing and to provide me with an extra towel to put over my face during washing?

I need a cut so badly. But I don't want to endure the process.

Quiet chairs sound like the best thing ever! Saves any anxiety over an explanation. I like my hairdresser and have been going a long time so the conversation is nice - but I have been elsewhere where I find it painful! Would be lovely to just have a coffee and read magazines unquestioned!

I feel you, OP. I trim my own hair now for these exact reasons. I’m scared of the salon the way other people are scared of the dentist.

Oh the book idea is a good one. Thank you. I've heard of quiet chairs but don't think any salons close by have them.

I was thinking of mentioning it when I call to book. The talking thing, maybe leave the towel to the day. I'd, of course be polite about it.

I'm don't really want to lie about not being well or having anxiety but maybe it would be socially easier for them if they felt I had a reason. I can't give them the real reason as I would cry.

Could you email the salon ahead of going to check it's ok?

Maybe take a scarf to cover your face with.

I don't chat to my hairdresser. Nothing personal, but i am always really tired and just want a rest. I collect articles and magazines in the 6 weeks between a colour in a special 'hairdressers' bag i put aside. All the things i think i'd like to read and just never have time. I walk in armed with my bag. We have the initial 'what are we doing today?' chat. I make a joke that i'm tired and have come for a rest and have brought my bulging bag to get thru. They bring me a cup of tea and i work my way thru all the reading materials. I smile, am polite, but we don't chat.

When i get my hair washed i close my eyes and power nap for 10 mins. I think eyes closed is the indicator not to chat to you. Say 'oh good time for a little sleep' smile and shut your eyes as you put your head back. Just make half asleep mmm noises if they speak to you.

You are NOT odd. I had this problem and never went to the salon for years. I couldn't stand the banal questioning and small talk to someone who on the whole isn't interested either - too much effort just to get your hair done. As you say, if you force yourself sometimes you may come across as rude which is even worse. I'm tempted to say take a magazine or feign a sore throat but part of me think why should you not be able to be honest and open about a reasonable request as long as you do it in polite way? They may even be relieved they don't have to run through the same boring script for a change!

I’d suggest going to a smaller locally owned place, rather than a chain - personally I’ve always found chains to be pretty intimidating and they make me feel stupid before I even open my mouth. That could just be me though!

I think bringing a book is an excellent idea, but if you forget or don’t want to, if you’re not really talking the hairdresser won’t try and force a conversation! The towel for the hair wash I’d just ask for on the day, don’t have to explain why at all, but if you would rather give some reason maybe say the lights in your eyes will only give you a headache/migraine which you’ll pay for for the rest of the day. Maybe ask for this to be popped in your notes so you don’t have to request it every time you go to get your hair done.

Would getting someone to come to teh house work better, or be worse? The lady I go to isn't a chatter thankfully.

If you just don't chat back much, they'll probably not continue chatting.

I'm a bit of an introvert and have got a good thing with my hairdresser, probably 5mins chat when she starts and it's nice then she does my hair without chatting. She says she goes into a trance whilst doing it and I quite like the quiet!

You could always take a flannel with you and a book and try not to give a fuck if they think you are odd- be polite, maybe explain the flannel by saying you worry about water in your face and take a book.

Take a book

I always read magazines at my hairdressors - I joke its the one time I get to sit and read in peace - if you bring a book and say that

I would just be upfront and say dont take it personally but Im all talked out and just want an hours peace.

Sometimes it helps to practise.

They ask you what you want doing, conversation about that.

Hair washing: “Could I get another towel for my face please? I prefer to cover it if that’s OK.”

Back to chair: “Hope you don’t mind but I’m going to sit quietly a
D read my book while you work.”

“Would you like tea/coffee/etc”

“No thanks - just going to concentrate on my book.”

I was going to suggest the book too. Or if you forget to bring one, ask for a magazine.

If you ask this time it will get easier and easier as the hairdresser gets to know you prefer to be quiet. I've found I've gone the other way and am much happier chatting than I used to be, though I still dislike going.

I think most things are ok if you say it politely.
It could be really nice for the stylist too, they may get bored asking about everyone's holidays.

I don't think it's odd, and it's certainly not rude. I think being taciturn and leaving them to " get the message" could leave them feeling uncomfortable, especially if they are young.
Just mention that you don't want to chat op, or take a book.
Totally valid choice op.

The towel thing isn't U at all, I've seen lots of people asking for a towel over their eyes during washing.

Not wanting to talk is fine too but it would be rude to state you don't want any conversation. No point offending/upsetting the hairdresser. Just make an excuse. If I feel like sitting in silence I say 'excuse me for not talking, ive got such a sore throat' then ask for a magazine. You could say you want to meditate or play with your phone or read a magazine. I think hairdressers are trained to pick up on cues, mine never talks unless I indicate that I want to. I always say a few polite things initially eg remark on the weather/business of salon then zone out!

Write a note saying you have laryngitis and have lost your voice.

Plenty of sensible advice so I won’t add any except to say I hope you manage to do this and it’s better than you fear. You sound really sad.

OP I try out different salons all the time and dont like talking.

I take a book (as opposed to a more chat triggering magazine) and as soon as I've discusswd what I want doing with the stylist, I pick my book up and smile almost apologetically and say "I hope you dont mind I'm going to catch up on my reading whilst I'm here?"

They always take it really well. The fact its a book makes them much less likely to disturb you and the fact youve spelled it out means they dont presume you have a book just to pass the time - you have a book because you actively want to be quiet and not disturbed.

For the hair washing, once you're sat in the chair just turn around and say "actually have you got a small towel or something because the lights really hurt my eyes!"

You'll be fine OP.

Personally I would be really honest with them:

"I know this might sound odd, but I find it really hard coming to the hairdressers. Would you mind giving me a towel to cover my eyes while I'm having my hair washed, and ask the stylist not to make conversation, it would really help"

Or take one of those sleep masks for while your hair's being washed, so you can still breathe.

I'm sure if you're up front, they won't dwell on it even if they do think it's a bit unusual.

Good luck

I take a book, Chat about what's going to be done then sit with my book reading - they get on with doing their thing I get an hour or so of bliss reading uninterrupted. I don't ask them not to talk to me they just see me reading and let me be.

Its not odd op.
Been a stylist for over twenty years and have many clients that would rather not chat and be quiet.
Not an issue at all for us as we have a relax shampoo room with low lighting so clients can drift off with a chair massage or without. It's their choice.
When it comes to being in the cutting area a good stylist will pick up that your wanting to be quiet and follow you.

I would recommend searching for a good quality salon though that have great reviews for customer service.

I have had clients call and ask that they can be quiet during the process for anxiety reasons etc etc and I've always accommodated them as it means they don't feel too awkward to come back and gradually relax more.

Good luck op and remember to look for good customer service reviews and check out their websites for pics so you get an idea of the set up before you go xx

I actually think some hairdressers would prefer no chat - no need to say anything - I'd just give the right vibes.