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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wwyd? Would you force her to go to ballet?

45 replies

StandardRussian66 · 20/01/2018 08:36

My 3 year old has been asking for months to go to ballet. I managed to book her her first 3 lessons as a trial and now she’s crying saying she doesn’t want to go. No reason why, she just doesn’t want to.
Would you make her go and try it? She’s always watching ballet lessons on her tablet and loves it.

OP posts:
taxi4ballet · 20/01/2018 09:16

Solemnly "Good toes, naughty toes" is universal in ballet class for little ones - many teachers do that, it's a handy way for kids to learn how to point their feet.

OP, if she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to go. Not a lot of point in making her. Give it a few weeks and see if she asks again.

whiskyowl · 20/01/2018 09:17

I'm unclear whether she's already been to the trial and didn't like it, or whether she's not been at all but has had a change of heart. If the former, I wouldn't force her to go to more lessons. If the latter, I'd take her along. I think it's good for kids to learn not to be scared of trying new things at a young age. There are lots of things they might not want to learn that they need to learn to be safe (e.g. swimming), and open-mindedness and a 'give it a go' attitude are things that can be taught.

Ansumpasty · 20/01/2018 09:22

I would take her to the first one and then if she still doesn't like it, I'd stop it and maybe try again in a year. Forcing isn't great

Vanillaradio · 20/01/2018 09:30

I would take her for the trial and then see what she thinks after that. Minor bribery may work with this- suggest trip to cafe, library, softplay etc afterwards.........
If she hates it don't go back. With kids that age they often freak out at the idea of something new/different as a default reaction then like it when they try it.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 20/01/2018 09:31

Take her to the most informal class you can find, and see if she likes it when she gets there. My DD has been going since just before she turned 3. The teacher is infinitely patient, the children variously join in or don't, and after 4 terms DD now mostly joins in, tries hard and is quite good at following instructions. She's even a bit graceful sometimes. No pressure at all. Her friend goes to a much more formal class where parents have to watch from another room, and did her first show at the big theatre in town aged 2. She loves it, but my DD would have cried inconsolably and not gone back. At the moment it's fear of the unknown, but if she tries it, and you can try it without committing, she might like it.

SorenLorensonsInvisibleFriend · 20/01/2018 10:08

My daughter (also 3) was exactly the same! Demanding ballet classes, obsessed with Ballerina (have you watched it? It's great), and talking non stop about going to ballet school. Until the day when she wailed and shouted and insisted she WOULD NOT GO!

However.. we managed to take her to the trial session with coaxing and bright and breezy, "well, we'll just see what it's like this week, shall we?", where we were invited to stay to watch. It was perfectly aimed at her age group, she had a wonderful time and it's the highlight of her week now. She cries when she leaves!

If you believe she'll genuinely like it after the nerves have gone (and my daughter never gets nervous so it must've been a big deal!), try to encourage her to give a trial session a go. Once she's had a taste, she'll know for sure. Or see if you can defer it for six months?

brownelephant · 20/01/2018 10:10

take her.
she can make her mind up after the lesson(s)

user1474652148 · 20/01/2018 10:17

If you are keen to take her ( personally I wouldn't be taking her until she actually wanted to go) It's important to listen to children, even very young ones. If they say no then accept it. It is a battle you don't need to have. Give it a couple of years and see if she is interested then.

Doublegloucester · 20/01/2018 10:17

We had a few weeks of tears at ballet. One week she said she didn't want to go so we left it. Then a few weeks later, she suddenly decided she wanted to go and hasn't looked back!

NeverTwerkNaked · 20/01/2018 10:26

If it’s nerves, I encourage mine to push through my nerves and give it a go. Our rule is “try it for 5 minutes” normally by then their nerves have settled and they are enjoying it. If they weren’t I wouldn’t make them stay.

DD lives to dance and perform, and has since she was about 2 years old, but she still gets a bit nervous /shy after a break for school holidays / illness.

Encourage her to go and “just watch” and see how she finds it. There’s plenty of time for her to try again later.

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 20/01/2018 11:02

I sat with her for the first 15 minutes And I’ve just snuck out and left her. Can’t hear any crying yet!

OP posts:
NeverTwerkNaked · 20/01/2018 11:49

Hope she enjoys it Smile I still get nerves if I go to a new thing, I have to remind myself how I encourage my children to just give it a go for 5 minutes!

DropZoneOne · 20/01/2018 12:08

Hope she enjoys it! I didn't do dance with my DD until she was 8 as i knew structured lessons weren't for her. I found a lovely school that's a lot more informal and took DD along. She spent the whole trial lesson sat on my lap (she's tall so this was not comfy!) but at the end declared it looked good and she wanted to go. We're two years in and most weeks she loves it. Not the exams though, she gets too anxious do we don't do those.

She's just very nervous of new things and likes to observe before deciding if she'll participate.

MiaowTheCat · 20/01/2018 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shimmershimmerandshine · 20/01/2018 12:17

If she hasn't actually been then try her for a lesson.

FWIW one of my Dd's did ballet from 3, Co operated, loved it and tried hard, still does it at nearly 9. The other one just did her own thing when I tried her and then decided she wanted to go again when she was 6.

There were two girls in one class that just refused completely, I really don't see the point it is surely meant to be fun. Plus it's not fair on the others.

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 20/01/2018 14:59

She was ok when I left, she didn’t really join in but she watched the others so am going to take her again next week

OP posts:
NeverTwerkNaked · 20/01/2018 22:49

miaow Grin

Supermagicsmile · 20/01/2018 22:50

Keep taking her, she won't know if she likes it unless she tries it!

AndTheLittleOneSaid · 20/01/2018 23:45

My 3-year-old did a year of toddler ballet from age 2 and absolutely loved it. When the time came to try pre-school ballet we trialled several different classes. One she refused to go in the door, nothing to do with the class but because there was a new toy at home she would rather have been playing with. Next class she tried but didn't like the teacher, because she asked to come and see me half way through and the teacher said no. Third class had a song about a snapping crocodile and she hated. Fourth class she ran straight in, joined in with it all, lived the teacher's gentle manner, and didn't mind me leaving for the entire class (which had never happened before). At such a young age resistence to join a class can be completely unrelated to the class itself...so worth trying a couple of times just to make sure. My dd gets so much out of her class. She absolutely loves going.

Original poster
StandardRussian66 · 21/01/2018 21:39

Thankyou for every advice. She has been doing the moves today all day.
I am not used to a shy child, I hope she will grow out of it.

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