legal agreements

[nailpolishchipped]

DP and I have been together about 5 years or so. We bought a house together last year, having sold both our own properties. Mine sold first which enabled us to buy, then when his sold he paid me back the 'extra' I had put in.
We had legal documents drawn up by a solicitor stating we are tenants in common with 50% shares.
We both work full time, but I do majority of house work as he puts more cash into the account.

All sounds fine?
No. He is in a strop as he thinks I don't trust him regarding money as when his house sold, I asked him to pay back the balance to my account even though we were going to do some building work and he said it could just all come out of his account using both his and my money. Apparently, his previous relationship they never had documents done but when they split there was the inevitable arguments and he felt ripped off by his ex. So I am saying its good we have done them but he feels as though its me not trusting him!

AIBU in asking him to put what was essentially my equity into my own account instead of leaving in his? Do other unmarried have proof of ownership documents?

No - I would be telling him I'd trust him fine after he has put the money where it is supposed to be. And you don't get to do more housework because he earns more. Equal downtime. If he doesn't agree, I would seriously reevaluate your relationship.

You’re very sensible. If he felt aggrieved before, then surely he understands??

So you’re expected to trust him, and he’s allowed to strip, as obviously he will be honest/ reasonable, but he’s allowed to be miffed that you would prefer the equity was in your account, even though he was financially screwed by an ex.....????? Does he not see the utter hypocrisy in his irritation? Obviously not. But maybe gently pointing out that trust should be two ways, and this keeps everything equal, and was the initial arrangement. Good luck!

We now have a deed of trust that states we are 50/50 tenants in common.

Before children when we first bought a house to live in together DP paid the deposit so the deed specified a formula to be applied to split the beneficial value of the house if we split up that took into account that he had paid the deposit.

After DC1 was born we changed the deed to 50/50 tenants in common.

We are buying a new house at the moment. We will also own that 50/50 tenants in common and have a deed. I'm selling an asset solely in my name to help pay for the new house but that will just go into the mix.

YANBU - it's your money it goes in your account.

We were joint tenants as we each had and kept another property and DP put most of the money into the new one but I paid the mortgage and lived in it with the kids. Once I sold mine and had paid most of the mortgage I pushed and pushed to get new house transferred into my name but we drew up a legal document /deed with lawyer to protect DPs asset.

Sensible.

You did exactly the right thing. Except for all the oodles of money you are keeping out of the hands of us poor lawyers should things not work out. Won't someone please think of the lawyers?

Particularly when you have chosen not to be married, you are well entitled to be sensible and organised about money. If he wanted to get married that might be different, but as you are not, your legal rights are reduced and so it is always good to be organised and clear about money.

Carry on as you were. When your rights over the house are defined by the declaration of trust and not a marriage certificate you should stick to your guns. Having clear legal ownership is crucial.