To ask whether my dd (2) sounds like she has autism

[Caterpillarx1]

Posting here for traffic - sorry.
Long time lurker only just made an account!

I’m in no way trying to find a diagnoses for her via mumsnet. I would just really appreciate some opinions off mums with autistic daughters of similar age.

DS (4) has low functioning autism, picked up from
a very young age, no eye contact, still non verbal, etc. DD however was able to say basic words, point out pictures in first word books and responded to her name so I just assumed she was “ok” and didn’t have autism.

DD is now 2 and a half and I’m becoming more and more concerned about her behaviour. I will be speaking to the health vis on Monday but jw for now if anyone’s dd is similar.

Causes for concern:
Only using basic words. Maybe 2 at a time, no sentences.
Repeats every question I ask. Can not answer a simple yes or no question. Whatever I ask she will just repeat the question I’ve asked back to me multiple times.
Extemely shy, goes in to a panic if someone even says ‘hello’ to her when we’re out.
Scared of people laughing. If she hears someone laughing in town she will look around and panic and get really upset.
Can not make friends the same age.
Extemely sensitive if I tell her ‘no’ to something it’s almost like she can’t handle it. Will run out the room repeating ‘no, no’ shaking her head and run away and hide
If she becomes upset she will vomit.
The list goes on..

Today in town a lady spoke to DD. she panicked on the spot Shaking her head side to side (for the no sign) and repeated ‘no, no, no’ very fast in a scared voice like she just wanted it to stop. It’s made me really worried about her.

Poor little love. Have you come across M-Chat before?

No I haven’t but Il check it out. Thank you

Sorry I forgot to add. She also will not eat even at home if anyone is round. Even her own Nanny.
If we’re out and I go to give her a bite of a sandwich etc, she will either refuse. Or look around first and make sure no ones watching and quickly take a bite. If anyone even glimpses over she will become extemely upset

The difficult thing here is that yes, of course, she could be on the spectrum but also everything you've listed could also just be classed as some pretty typical 2year old behaviour of a child with a shy personality. I was the same as your DD, I spent most of my younger childhood years hiding behind my mum's legs, hated having to speak to people that I didn't really know and I did get into a proper panic about it.

I've worked with a lot of two year olds, mostly NT but some with SEN and nothing you've said would make me think of making a referral, I'd perhaps just be looking at helping her with speech - that could be the answer to all of her other 'problems'. Depending on your area it may be worth asking your HV to complete a Social and Emotional ASQ with you and that might give a clearer indication as to whether or not there is a concern.

I hope it works out okay, whatever the outcome

I hadn't read your latest update before I posted; see if you can check out the ASQ online and have a look at the questions, it might help you make a clearer list of your concerns ready for the HV on Monday. Has anyone else expressed concern about her behaviour?

Based on what you've posted here, I think it would be worth asking your GP for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. I certainly wouldn't say it's definitely autism but I think you have enough reasons to suspect that something is going on, esp wrt understanding and language.

It sounds like it could be a distinct possibility.

I am no way an expert but have been diagnosed with HF Autism myself and my 4 year old DD is strongly suspected of the same; NHS being screwed we have no idea how long it will take before she gets a full diagnosis. I slipped under the radar and wasn't diagnosed until about 2 years ago so I know how easy it is for girls to slip by.

Your DD sounds like a more pronounced version of my own DDs behaviour so the sooner it is mentioned to HCP the better. I will advise you make a list of everything that concerns you. Girls are more often swept under the rug and in light of your DS low functioning autism the HV might (and I do mean might) not see this as something worth addressing.

Ultimately you know your DD and you know her struggles best so stick to your gut

When I was young, I hated people laughing - it would make me cry. Apparently in the cinema once I stood on my chair and screamed "don't laugh it's not funny" and then wept.

I'm pretty much fine now ;)

Thank you for the replies. FfsSusan - yes. Every time I pick dd up from nursery her key worker tells me she still hasn’t ever heard her talk, she stands in the same spot of the nursery and doesn’t move around unless key worker will take her hand, she’s painfully shy, etc. Also my mum has came to stay and DD would become v.upset if my mum even looked in her direction if she was eating. Or if my mum laughed she would scream. - what I’m trying to say is yes my mum voices concerns and said DDs behaviour was odd.

She's at higher risk of having autism because she has a sibling diagnosed. This, plus the things you mentioned, makes me think you should definitely ask for a referral to be assessed.

Okay I do now agree that a referral would probably be wise, you might get the ball rolling quicker if nursery also make a referral so I'd be asking them to do this.

This definitely warrants a referral and I can see why you are concerned. Yes some of it sounds familiar (I have a dd with ASD) but other bits are opposite to what she was like at that age - however obviously every child is unique, ASD or not. I would definitely suggest there are some red flags there. She is young yet, but obviously the whole process takes forever so best to get the ball rolling

Problem is at age 2 this can be deemed as normal 2 year old behaviour.
If she was still like this at 5/6 then maybe not so.
And I have 2 children who have Autism, and 4 who are NT (as it stands now)
2 of my children are/were exactly how you describe your dd.
One of them is nearly 10 and has no underlying problems.
The other is 2 and only time will tell if she has asd as unfortunately you know if you have one child with autism then the % goes up for future children.
Speak to your HV about your concerns, have they done the 2 year check?

Thank you il get on to it Monday morning

When my DD was 2 I was worried she had autism. She had missed a few developmental milestones, was slow to speak and spent a lot of time sorting shapes into colours and lining up toys.
She was assessed at about 2.5 and by then was speaking more. She was assessed as not being on the spectrum at all and now, many years later displays nothing that would make you think her on the spectrum.

At the time I was very worried and having her assessed was so important in giving me info and helping me relax. I definitely think you should press for an assessment, not necessarily because of your list bit for your own peace of mind. Bearing in mind the sibling with a diagnosis, I don't think you will face any resistance.

However, you are likely to be hyper sensitive to all this stuff, so do remember this. While having a sibling increases the chances, being a girl means it's less likely. Hope you do t have to wait too long for a bit of clarification.

daffodils yes at the 2 year check I was told she would be referrered to speech therapy. (Still hasn’t happened 6 months down the line and still on the waiting list). However, I didn’t voice any concerns as it’s only the past 6 months her behaviour has became more apparent.

With all due respect daffodil, the OP says her dd cannot answer simple yes/no questions. She won't have to wait until her daughter's 5 or 6 for a doctor to want to investigate why this is.

Ask her to do the M chat when they come out.
Its so hard at this age, but certainly wont hurt to get things looked into.

It does sound like a referral might be a good idea.

How similar are the signs she shows to DS's though? I went through a stage of copying my big brother (who has autism) because I thought that was how I was supposed to act, so for years I didn't talk to people because he didn't, I cried when food touched on my plate because he did so I thought it might be dangerous, loud noises bothered me because they bothered him and I was scared of his meltdowns not the actual noise etc.

Barbarianmum My dd couldnt speak untill she was 4, had all the signs of asd as well.
But at nearly 10 she is absolutely fine, im not saying she has it or not but I was just saying that some 2 year olds are like this.
And I never said to wait until she was 5/6 to be seen.
Just that if it is high function or nothing then it is more obvious at this age.

Some really interesting replies. Thanks I appreciate all the info