To miss someone who is here...

[InspMorse]

I'll try and explain...Mum lives a few hours away & we see her every few months. When we plan a meet up and when we see her I have an awful 'miss' feeling throughout the whole visit.
She's in her late 70s and we do nice things together but I feel like I'm grieving the whole time I am with her. It's not normal is it?!
Anyone else or just me? Why can't I just enjoy our plans and visits?!

Sound like anxiety to me?

Are you worried that you won't have long together because of her age?

Would either of you be interested in her moving nearer to you?

Yes, I think it is anxiety! No possibility of moving closer unfortunately!
I don't know how people just relax & accept parents aging... ah well...

It sounds like a form of 'anticipatory grief' which normally affects people when someone they love has been diagnosed with a life limiting or terminal illness.
Would be worth yo speaking to your gp re anxiety.

I feel a bit like that with my Mum. She used to enjoy doing things but now she seems to find almost everything a chore. I know that is because of her age but it is still a shame.

She also seems to get poorly (cough / cold) after each time she sees us - I think it's because she is now out in the world so little, she doesn't have any immunity from bugs that are going round.