To wonder if this would be too close for comfort?

[sharkirasharkira]

Ex and I are in the process of splitting up and I am trying to move out.

I have a friend who has said I can move in to his place but he doesn't actually have any spare rooms as his DC's stay over EOW so I would be staying in their room and on the sofa on the weekends they are over. I would have no place to put my stuff and not much privacy. It would only be a stop gap until I could find something else and he owns his place outright so would only expect minimal rent/bill money. So financially it would be better but much less comfortable.

An opportunity to have my own flat has come up but....its on the same site as the place I live in with ex, literally round the corner. There is a completely separate entrance so technically we wouldn't even see each other but I'm wondering if it is a good idea to live so close to ex or whether it would be better to hold out for someone further away?

I really like the location where we are now as its very handy for work and the local town. I know the landlord, he is really nice and lets you make the place your own. I wouldn't have to pay a deposit or any fees to move in - even though the rent on the flat is a little higher than I wanted to pay but the bills are included so that helps a lot whereas most other places I would have to pay hundreds in referencing fees, deposits etc etc plus paying extra on top of the rent for bills.

Aibu to think of taking this place? Or is it a bad idea with ex around the corner? At the moment if I don't take it my only option would be to move in with friend and save up for somewhere else!

I’d take the place round the corner

You’ll be able to have a home straight away, while your friend is being very generous with offering you a place to stay it won’t be home.

Unless your exp is likely to badger you for living round the corner then I can’t see a problem (and assuming you also won’t go all stalker like)

Vote for place round the corner from me too.

Take it,this is the ideal location as you said and no ref etc needed.You can't let splitting with your ex dictate how you live unless there is something you haven't mentioned..
The alternative sounds terrible and might confuse his children.

Is the split with your ex on good terms?

Take the place around the corner rather than staying with the friend.

Place around the corner. It's good for a start, minimal disruption for you or your friend's children, get yourself into a new normal first and then if you think it's necessary you can find another place.

If the split is on reasonable terms, it's a no brainer. Unless you're likely to get tipsy and pop round for a shag.

If your ex is a psycho or violent or into mind-games then no, don't move into that place. If he's a normal bloke and you split up amicably, then yes, move in.

Windows, I am thinking that - I could always look to get somewhere else eventually if its not working out but for the meantime I think it sounds like a good option.

Friend's kids are 11 & 9 and I've known him for years so they know me well and won't be phased at all by me being there! I have lived with DFriend in the past so I know it will be fine, but its the issue of having nowhere to store all my stuff so it's stashed randomly over his house, and not having a room to myself that's putting me off - last time I stayed there I did have my own room so those things weren't an issue.

I'm about to (hopefully!) start a new job with long hours and late nights so I don't really fancy the idea of having to come home and sleep on the sofa after a long shift and then being woken up early by the kids coming downstairs to watch tv. Not their fault of course, it's their house but its just not ideal.

Ex and I are sort of on good terms. We don't have any animosity towards each other, far from it. He is struggling to let me go and wants us to get back together which is why I'm a bit worried that being in such close proximity won't be healthy for either of us but I am ready to move on.

take the flat, give flowers to friend to say thanks.

chances are the Ex may move on anyway.

Flat roun the corner. I rarely see my neighbours who live next door to me so I doubt you will bump into him much. No brainer really

I vote flat around the corner. If you know the landlord, you could always ask them about making the contract a temporary one/rolling, so you can have the flexibility of moving out if it does become awkward or you do want to move further away eventually?

As lovely as your friend is being, that probably wouldn't help not having your own space, especially at quite a tumultuous time. Say thanks and give him chocs/wine/etc to say thank you for the thought though.

Good luck, sounds like a not very nice time but hope you can make the best of it

Hmm. I wouldn't move so close to him if he's struggling to let you go, personally.

What happens when you start seeing someone new? You're going to be on pins that he's seen them.

I'd move round the corner but not tell him your're there. None of his business

Take the nearby apartment and then invite your friend and his kids over for a visit!

Take the flat. You can then look for another if it doesn’t suit.

Id vote flat. Rarely see my neighbours. It sounds really handy

Flat around the corner