To not want a Health Visitor despite MH history?

[SunSeaSalt]

Meh, I've seen her twice now and she just seems patronising in the way she comes across. If I tell her about something/how I do something (that I'm happy with), she always suggests alternatives/tells me how I should do something.

I would just change HV but friends and family have generally had the same experience with all of their HV.

I'm cautious of saying I don't want to see her anymore, because I had a history of psychosis in my earlier teens and this went against me in hospital.

In a nutshell, one particular consultant demanded I stay for 5 days at least after birth and when I self discharged, had it go against medical advice procedures and it was made clear to me Social Services will be in touch. This is all despite her saying she would allow formal discharge if I agreed to see a psychiatrist. I saw a psychiatrist, he quite literally found it funny he would go against my plans since I had been very well for years and showing no sign of being unwell.

She made me feel like a piece of crap in hospital, despite my perfect feeder and sleeper of a baby.

As not to drip-feed, I did express to my GP that I was feeling mildly paranoid mid pregnancy but this was resolved and those feelings went away almost as quickly as they came.

Social services never did contact me

We wrote a complaint officially to PALS and were told we would hear back mid January.

And why should me refusing to see a HV be a red flag? I haven't suffered with MH issues in years

Well that's not strictly true is it? At least not from their point of view. You reported paranoid thoughts during pregnancy. Psychosis is very serious and you are still at a high risk. They can't ignore that.

I have been carefully watched for the first 5 weeks by my community Midwife. I agreed to this because she was lovely and I didn't mind seeing her

PND can happen any time in the first year. These are health professionals, they're not making social calls. You discharged yourself from hospital, have a complaint in and say you want to stop seeing a health visitor. This will raise huge red flags because it will be a concern to professionals that rather than being concerned about getting advice from professionals in yours and your daughter's best interests you are more concerned that health professionals pander to you and tell you what you want to hear. That in turn raises questions about yours and your daughter's health as there would be a concern if your GP says something you don't like you'll withdraw from them too and any deterioration would go unnoticed.

Put it this way, if someone in your situation develop PND and did something to harm themselves and their baby the questions asked would be 'How did this person with a history of MH problems manage to withdraw themselves from engaging without any follow up or questions being asked'.

But what would SS have to report on? Feck all.

Yes, but if you're objecting to a health visitor coming every few weeks how on earth are you going to feel about SS involvement? Unannounced visits, personal questions, assessments?

You've already had a referral and not heard anything. Possibly they've spoken to the midwife or red the report on your husband and know you are seeing the HV regularly and don't think you needed intervention, but if you start refusing a health visitor that may well change.

As a H/V I would confirm your good relationship with GP with regard to your mental health and happily not see you ( from the history you describe)

I've worked in SS and in intermediate care management. If you did that on someone you knew had a SS referral in you would be following terrible practice. At the minimum you should be reporting it to SS. A professional who didn't share that information with other professionals that needed to know would be negligent. It's this 'working in silos' which cause half the serious case reviews we see year after year.

I think as long as you would be happy to allow your dh to insist you seek extra help should your mh deteriorate (and it sounds like you would) then I suggest you tell the health visitor you no longer require their services and that you will access any further support via the Gp. Yes they may report you to ss and you may get a visit but you can explain why you didn’t want the visits to continue. They were detrimental to your daily life and welfare. Or ask to swap and explain why. She’s bossy and rude

Swapping is the best idea. I'm not just saying this because of where I work, I had drug related psychosis and various MH problems and depression into adulthood. I have a singleton and twins and with both births I had this because the second was multiples and I had PND. It was a pain in the bum and she was patronising and gave me the wrong advice. But I just nodded and smiled and answered her questions for an hour just so I had nobody on my back. It's an hour with someone you don't like. It's not the end of the world. Swap if you want, but you'd take a risk stopping.

Elton john, no way would social care in my area accept the reason the OP describe as a referral . It sounds like it was a threat from the consultant. The region I work in also has a perinatal mental health team, and a large intergrated HUB with mental health, police, social workers and health workers ,which promotes information sharing for safe guarding purposes. No silo working. The perinatal mental health team with OP history would have initially assessed, pre birth , but would probably not be working her as there are no issues at present or any raised in the intensive support she received post Birth.

Honestly the majority of health visitors are horrible. I have met one who was amazing. I loved her. She was an amazing person (grew up in a sink hole estate and got herself out because she didn't want her children growing up). Very ambitious (lots of extra qualifications). Very personable and obviously quite intelligent. Very supportive when I needed her and gave great advice. Just fantastic. The rest were horrible. They didn't listen. At. All. They knew nothing beyond the basic guidelines on gheNHS website. They were quite unpleasant and didn't really seem to understand that I still expected decent customer service and basic manners. Quite frankly they were all a bit stupid as well. Needless to say I tried to make sure their visits were very in and out.

Check solar gives great advuce on how to deal with a useless professional. That is exactly how I deal with them. Eventually they will bugger off if you adopt this approach.

I think they can be very intrusive regardless of any previous MH issues. I certainly thought mine was a pita when she referred us to the community paediatrician when we had self-referred for DS to have ‘helmet’ treatment with a properly registered orthotic HCP for plagiocephaly (very flat head). The community paediatrician was mystified as she and the community team actually work with that clinic for specific things. She couldn’t understand why the HV hadn’t just phoned the paediatric team for advice first before wasting everyone’s time with a referral! Honestly the HV spoke to me like I’d bought the orthotic device at a car boot sale
Anyway, sorry that was a bit long-winded, but what I’d suggest is minimal contact to get the ‘ticks’ -actually go to the baby clinic for weighing every 2 months or so and get the development checks done. You will then hopefully just get filed in the ‘everythIng’s fine’ box and not trigger any extra contact. Hope everything goes well.

OP I definitely think it's worth asking for a different HV at least, they aren't all condescending arses.

Sadly you appear to have fallen into a bad bunch; I myself have had a chequered MH past, including psychosis (since discovered it's HF Autism) and was intensely aware of this as a brand new mum. I had lots of MW support however and neither they nor my HV batted an eyelid about my MH, they were there to help me with BF; it was difficult to establish, not once was i made to feel as if my own thoughts and opinions were irrelevant.

I would definitely stay in contact, if you find a good one they are worth their weight in gold, but this depends if you find a good one.

Just want to add, well done to the psychiatrist and agree with PP that SS have taken one look at the report and gone "sod off, stop wasting my time" worst case scenario is they drop in to see you, see you coping and hopefully give the Children's Services team a stern talking to

HV visits and engagement are not compulsory anywhere. Ask to swap if you want to, or you could just refuse to see them. You wouldn’t be missing much.

My HV is lovely, sensible and supportive. She was a mental health nurse before becoming a HV. I’d consider asking for a swap.

As only a couple of PPs have mentioned, HV are not compulsory. They're voluntary. My OH & I refused all contact from the HV especially after one turned up unannounced on the doorstep saying she had arranged the appointment with my DF (yes, that's right, my father!).

I have a history of MH issues and that had no impact on my decision regarding HV. If they want to contact SS my attitude is let them, my child is not at any risk.

I now see my nurse or GP for the relevant stage check ups to make sure, from a medical perspective, my child is cared for.

I think saying you don't want to see the HV might be a red flag for them, so I personally wouldn't

IME the HV isn't really around long we only saw her at 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 12 months and will again at a 2 year review. She stressed we could take baby to weigh ins as and when we wanted to or if we had any concerns. So I have seen her for about maybe an hour total in DDs life.

Not seeing a HV should not be a red flag. Don’t be afraid to say no. They have no more authority than any other HCP. If they (and others) believe that there is a safeguarding issue then let them make a referral.

There is nothing to be afraid of.

Glad you are doing well OP. HV concern was how would she know if there was problem when u discharged yourself.

HV with dd1 was lovely. ds2 a bit patronising and inflexible. Rarely see her though and the milestone checks are reassuring even if the person delivering them isn't the best. Also if there is any issues with baby you will want to know and get the attention required asap.

I had an awful experience with mine, I wouldn't trust them with a goldfish, let alone my baby. I didn't go to any subsequent checks and it was never questioned.

I have a very long and complex mental health history and when I had my twins I was never referred to SS. I did however have a perinatal psychiatrist and lots of home visits from hv. Their support was fantastic, I welcomed it and understood it completely. Engaging is always the better option. Even those with no prior mental health difficulties can find themselves in need of support. Having kids is difficult and having a few extra visits is no reflection on you, it is simply making sure the child is safe. They would be remiss if they didn't.