To believe we need a total rethink on how to deal with stalking.

[KurriKurri]

Apologies if there are already threads on this - I couldn;t see any.
The Emily Maitlis story has shown up yet again just how destructive these very disturbed people can be to someone's life and how any attempts to curb their behaviour are completely useless.
Restraining orders are meaningless - they just ignore them.
Prison sentences for 20 years of harrassment and breaking restraining orders are derisory.

Why is it not taken seriously - why do people have to put up with this awful harrasmment wrecking thier lives and nothing can be done until the are actually harmed, so they have to live in fear all the time ?

Emily Maitlis is well known so her case has come to the public attention, and good for her for talking about the impact it has had on her family and her fears that the prison sentence will not solve the situation - he will just start again when he gets out. But there must be loads of people not in the public eye who are going through the same thing, who's stories don't get heard. Do people perhaps consider it a 'famous person' problem.

I don't know what can be done - I'd be interested to hear your ideas, a large part of me I thinking that this is yet another 'thing that happens to women so we don't care' type of crime. Of course I know it happens to men and is just as awful for them, but is it largely a crime with female victims - I don;t know, but that would be my guess.

I think this needs a huge overhaul. I don't believe it is taken seriously and I think more needs to be done to educate people on what constitutes stalking on order to prevent it, especially with the mass of personal data shared through apps uber and deliveroo and social media.

I had someone stalk me via social media at uni, although I think he'd have been horrified that I viewed him like that as it was mercifully low level- but other friends have been more actively, aggressively stalked. Whilst I think a percentage stalkers are mentally unwell, some people could probably stop their behaviour. I remember campaigns to teach teenagers about consent and DV before, a similar one could show people that what they are doing is stalking.

Yanbu. I experienced this mildly twice in my early 20s and both times it was scary and I didn’t report it, ans luckily it stopped when I moved away.

The offender in this case sounds persistent and horrible, v brave of Emily maitlis to talk about it.

We experienced a stalker and despite it not going further than her sending dozens of nasty infidelity accusations of me to DH over messenger plus inventing a daughter between her and my DH and demanding money, sending nasty messages to me and my MIL and eventually her calling DH's work pretending to be the police (which work laughed at thankfully!) we went to the police. In our case justice was slow. It took over a year to get to court and another 6 months to sentencing. She had done something similar before to someone else and she still got off with no punishment at all. She was just told she wasn't to stalk anyone ever again.

Okaaay. Yep. Glad they've put a stop to that huh?